


Trials, Tribulations & Triangles

by PrincessMisery86



Series: Lexi Shay [1]
Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-12 20:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 75,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18017489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessMisery86/pseuds/PrincessMisery86
Summary: Lexi Shay (Leslie Shay's twin sister), a Detective in the Intelligence Unit, deals with her sister's death, the end of her relationship with Severide and her budding relationship with her partner Halstead. What happens when she finds out she's the reason for her sisters death? How will she cope? How is an old case she worked involved? Jay/OC, Kelly/OC. Cameos of characters from Chicago PD & Chicago Fire. Note: Lindsey doesn't exist. Burgess is a Police Officer within the intelligence unit.





	1. Undercover

##  Chapter 1 – Undercover.

Lexi Shay sat at the edge of the pool, her feet swaying back and forth in the water. It was a rare moment of peace, she was enjoying the cool night air and the house being empty.

The last four months had been none stop, being undercover was taking its toll. Lexi had started as a Police Officer working for the Intelligence Unit 6 months before, she was new to Chicago, so they had taken advantage that no one had seen her before and put her to work straight away to go undercover with the East side Cartel or the E.S.C as they liked to be called.

Lexi had spent a month working her way in with the top dealer in Chicago, Benny. The E.S.C were running drugs, mainly pills up and down the East coast. She had been living as Lexi Jones, with three of the top dealers for three months.

Benny was the top dog, he was a bit of an idiot, but the supplier trusted him, and he was the one who bought Lexi on board. Calvin was a weird guy, Lexi was very cautious around him and was glad she had a lock on her bedroom door, then there was Jay, Jay was a whole other story. Jay had moved in two weeks after Lexi had. He was a good guy, he was smart and could handle himself in any situation, he had been an Army Ranger, so she understood why Benny had recruited him.

In two days, Lexi would be in the same room as the drugs, the dealers, the money and the supplier, the task force would bust in and then her job was done.

Lexi heard the patio door slide open and turned to see Jay walking towards her, okay the last three months of living with three dudes hadn’t been that hard to deal with, Jay made it easier. “Don’t get any ideas” Lexi warned Jay as he got closer to her, he had a habit of throwing her in the pool whenever he got the chance.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Jonesy” Jay used the nickname he had given her as he squatted down and kissed her lightly on the lips, she pulled away after a few seconds, Jay frowned at her “hey, I wasn’t done” she reached her arms up and he pulled her up to stand in front of him, she kissed him again and bit his lip a little as she pulled away again.

Jay smiled at her, she got butterflies in her stomach as he brushed her hair behind her ear. She felt like a fool, she was falling for this guy, a drug dealer, she was falling in love with a drug dealer. After three weeks of Jay moving in, he had kissed Lexi and they had been a couple ever since or acting as a couple as Lexi thought of it.

“Where are the guys?” Jay asked noting the relevant silence of the house.

“Benny had a date, and god knows what Calvin gets up to” Lexi laughed not even wanting to imagine what Calvin did when he had a night off. Lexi took his hand in hers and lead them both to the sun loungers a few feet from the pool.

Lexi put her feet up on hers and Jay sat on the opposite one, his feet on the floor, running his fingers absentmindedly up and down her exposed tanned leg. “So now we’re alone, I need to talk to you”

Lexi didn’t like the tone of his voice, he sounded worried, she had never heard him worried before, he had always been happy, funny, carefree almost. “okay, this doesn’t sound good”

“It’s not” Jay stared in to her blue eyes, he didn’t know what he was doing or what he was about to say he just knew he had to do something to protect her, protect this girl he had only know a short time but already felt so strongly for. “Don’t come on Friday” He meant the supplier drop.

Lexi laughed without humour “Don’t do that” Lexi began swinging her legs off the lounger, so her legs were next to his and she was sat up. “Don’t turn in to some over protective prick. I’ve earnt my place there just as much as you have”

“I’m not denying that!” Jay assured her taking her hands in his “I’ve got a bad feeling about the whole thing, I don’t want you there, to get caught up in something that could go bad, fast!”

Lexi knew Jay’s ‘bad feeling’ wasn’t unwarranted, she knew they were all going to be arrested and all serve hard time. She smiled sweetly at him, “Jay it will be fine, it’s a simple exchange of goods for cash nothing will go wrong”

“I’m asking you, I’m begging you” Jay shook his head “please don’t go. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you”

Lexi didn’t like the intensity of his stare, she stood up and went to walk in to the house. “I’m not having this conversation Jay” he grabbed her arm as she passed him stopping her from walking away.

Jay stood up and kept his grip on her wrist, so she couldn’t leave. “Lexi, I’m a cop!” He had just broken the number one rule of undercover work, he had blown his cover to protect a criminal, but he couldn’t see her get hurt or put away. He studied her closely for a reaction, he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. He had to make her see sense, had to get her to keep away from the deal, he had to help her. “The Springfield police department are going to bust in on that deal and arrest everyone”

Lexi’s mind went in to overdrive, was this a trick to get her to confess? Was he telling the truth? If he was telling the truth, why didn’t the intelligence unit know about him? Why would he break his cover? She searched his eyes, looking for any hint of a lie or a sign he was playing her. She was a cop, she had good instincts, she hadn’t been recruited to the Intelligence Unit for her charming personality, her gut told her he was telling the truth. “Well you might want to tell them to coordinate with my boss at the Intelligence Unit of the Chicago police department”

 

* * *

 

Lexi sat in the passenger seat of the beat-up mustang that Jay was driving. He had asked Benny if they could both take the night off, Benny had agreed stating they all should take the night off, tomorrow was going to be a big day.

Lexi was lost in thought, her head resting on the glass of the window watching the scenery whizz by as Jay drove faster than he should be on the coastal roads. She had no idea where he was taking her, he just insisted she go with him.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day. The meet was happening at a disused warehouse at 2pm. The exchange would take place and as soon as drugs and money changed hands she would say ‘it was a pleasure doing business with you gentlemen’, then the Intelligence Unit and Springfield PD would burst in, take down everyone and arrest them all.

After they had both revealed they were working undercover, they had set a meeting with their respective bosses and they were all working together. Voight had told Lexi they would discuss the implications of her revealing she was undercover, without his permission, when the whole thing was over. She wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

Lexi’s brain played every scenario through her head like a movie reel. She knew she wasn’t going to sleep much tonight, if at all. Jay pulled her from her thoughts as he took her hand from her lap and put it to his lips, “worried about tomorrow?”

It would be her first take down, her first major bust, the finale of her first time undercover “a little” she admitted smiling at him. She took her eyes from him to look at the road as she felt the surface of the road change as Jay pulled off the road.

“It will be fine” Jay assured her kissing her hand again, pulling the car to a stop and killing the engine, “we’re here” He had taken them to a cliff edge, the ocean a 100-foot drop below.

Lexi got out of the car and walked to the guardrail, peering over to see how far down the ocean was. It was a beautiful spot, the ocean crashing below and the smell of salty air. Lexi turned from the edge smiling to see Jay sat on the bonnet of the car watching her. “it’s beautiful here” Lexi told him climbing up on to the car to sit beside him.

“Your beautiful” he told her kissing her softly. “They call it lovers look-out”

Lexi lay back on the windscreen looking up at the sky, the sun had set about an hour before, but the sky still had tinge of orange and pink as dark ominous clouds slowly rolled in.

Jay lay beside her entwining their hands. “I wanted to spend our last night together, just the two of us.” Lexi turned her head to look at him, Jay continued realising she didn’t quite understand the point he was making, “I figured after tomorrow is over, we won’t see each other, we’ll go our separate ways.”

Lexi’s chest tightened, she had been so worried about the actual takedown that she hadn’t even thought about the fact that when it was all over Jay would go back to Springfield and she would go back to Chicago.

Tears filled her eyes and she had to look up at the sky to stop them from falling. She was being ridiculous, she had only known Jay a few months, and what did she actually know about him? They were both playing a part, playing characters they had created. Lexi thought about asking Jay some real questions, had he really been an army ranger? What was his real name? But then she realised it would be harder to say goodbye to him if she knew the real him.

“Lexi, I lo…” his words were cut off as she kissed him. She teased his mouth open with her tongue and sighed in to him. Jay knew she had kissed him to stop him from saying the words aloud. Maybe she was right, maybe saying it would just make things harder.

* * *

 

Lexi had given the breach phrase six minutes ago and all hell had broken loose. Flash grenades had gone off, smoke filled the warehouse and bullets began to fly. Benny had been sat beside Jay, Jay had never seen someone react so fast, the second the door had been breached Benny had leapt to his feet to escape. Jay had given pursuit.

Benny punched Jay in the face, Jay blocked his second punch and got an uppercut to Benny’s gut. Jay heard Lexi scream, and looked in the direction the scream had come from. It wasn’t a scared scream, more of a pained scream. Distracted Jay didn’t notice the gun Benny pulled from his waistband. The shot to his leg bought him back to his fight, Jay launched at Benny, fighting for the gun, gaining control of the weapon, Jay pushed his knee in to Benny’s back “stay down, stay down” he warned pointing the gun at the back of his head.

Two officers appeared from the smoke “Benny Douglas” Jay told them “take him in to custody”. They cuffed Benny and took him away.    

The warehouse had quieted, the bullets had stopped flying, the smoke clearing. Jay sat on the cold ground of the warehouse, his face bleeding, the bullet in his upper left leg bleeding but not too heavily. He had lost sight of Lexi, where the hell was she? “LEXI” he called out getting to his feet. He tried putting weight on his injured leg and found he couldn’t.

“Hey Jay” Jay turned to see his Sergeant, Sergeant Best, rushing towards him

“Have you seen Lexi?” Jay asked accepting the Sergeant’s help to walk.

  
“No, sorry, let’s get you some help, then we’ll find her” Sergeant Best suggested aiding him to walk out of the warzone that had become the warehouse.

Jay sat on the gurney as two paramedics assessed his injuries, “you’re lucky” he was told “the bullet just grazed you” he wasn’t listening he was too busy scanning every face of the crowd of cops for Lexi.

Sergeant Best thanked the paramedics on behalf of Jay, “Thank you, give us a minute and you can take him to the hospital”

Jay was becoming anxious; he couldn’t see her anywhere. “Boss, where is she?” Jay pleaded as his Sergeant began searching the crowd also.

“Right here” Jay heard her voice before he saw her, she came from behind him and appeared at his side, holding her left arm across her body. He assessed the damage, her right eye and right cheek were beginning to bruise, she was breathing shallowly. She watched his eyes assessing her “a couple broken ribs, going to have a black eye and I’m going to be sore for a while” She smiled a little trying to show him she was okay. “Looks like I fared better than you” she chuckled pointing at his injured leg.

“I’ll give you two a minute” Sergeant Best announced before walking away.

Jay placed his hand on her good cheek and pulled her closer to him, she rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. The noise around them seemed to fade. He had been so scared when he had lost sight of her, he had seen her chase Calvin and then she was gone. “I heard you scream, I thought…”

“Calvin got the better of me” Lexi explained her scream “kicked me in the ribs, he had me pinned. Voight stepped in, just before I broke his jaw.”

Jay laughed, he had wanted to break Calvin’s jaw a few times over the last few months “sad I missed it”

Voight called her from a distance away, she could tell from his tone of voice it was time to leave. Lexi leant down and kissed Jay’s lips lightly, a silent tear ran down her cheek. “I have to go” Lexi stood up straight breaking their bubble, wiping the tear away “the big brass wants a briefing”

Jay’s eyes burned in to hers. “Lexi I…”

“Don’t” Lexi interrupted him “Please don’t” she sighed deeply, “I know what you’re going to say and it’s just going to make this so much harder.” Jay reached for her hand and she allowed him to take it before beginning to back away from him. Their hands fell apart and Lexi turned to walk away. “Hey, what’s your real name?” Lexi called over her shoulder

“Halstead, Jay Halstead” he called after her.

She turned to face him walking backwards as she spoke “Lexi Shay. Look me up sometime”

* * *

 

**_One week later._ **

Lexi entered Molly’s and scanned the crowd, seeking her twin sister, Leslie Shay. Spotting her at a table across from the bar with a Latino woman Lexi didn’t recognise. Lexi made her way through the crowd to her sister’s table. Covering her sister’s eyes from behind, she whispered down her ear “guess who?”

Shay squealed and jumped up and down turning to face her sister “oh my god, your finally back” they embraced, and Lexi couldn’t believe how good it felt to hug her sister. 

“Oh ow, gentle” Lexi warned pulling out of the hug, holding her broken ribs.

“What happened to you?” Shay asked assessing her sisters bruised right eye and cheek.

“Oh, it’s a long story, that needs tequila” Lexi said looking towards the bar.

“oh god, how rude of me, Lexi this is my new partner Gabriela Dawson” Shay told her pointing to the woman sat across the table from her. “Dawson this is my awesome sister, Lexi”

Lexi offered her hand and Gabriela shook it smiling at her “I’ve heard a lot about you” Dawson confessed.

“Ah the other Dawson” Lexi smiled “I hope all you heard was good” Lexi said eyeing Shay suspiciously. “I went by your place and Clarice told me you’re not together any more, you moved fire houses and your living with someone called Kelly?”

Shay rolled her eyes “four months is a long time to be gone…” she was interrupted, “I heard my name” Kelly Severide announced approaching the table. Lexi and Shay turned to look at him at the same time “oh damn, there’s two of you.”

Lexi and Shay weren’t identical twins, but their resemblance was unmistakeable, Lexi had a natural curl to hair, wore it longer than Shay and parted it on the left side rather than down the middle. Their eyes and noses were the same, Lexi always thought she had thicker lips than Shay and was a little jealous as Shay’s seemed to fit her features better. 

Shay laughed introducing them, “Lexi this is Kelly, Kelly this is Lexi”

“Please tell me you’re not gay” Kelly pleaded shaking Lexi’s offered hand.

Lexi chuckled, “not gay yet still not interested”

Kelly laughed, “we’ll see”, he stared at Lexi as she stared back and took his beer from his hand taking a long drink.

“Oh god, put it away Severide” Shay said walking between them and pulling Lexi to the bar. “Hey Herrmann, can we get some tequila’s?” Shay called out.

“And two beers” Lexi added seeing Jay enter Molly’s. She tiptoed above the crowd and waved him over. “Hey” she said when he got closer, then hugged him. She introduced Shay and then asked if Jay and her could have a minute alone. Shay took her beer back to the table, leaving Lexi and Jay sat at the bar. “How was the drive from Springfield?” Lexi was happy to see him, they hadn’t seen each other since the bust had gone down and she had missed him. 

“Long” Jay told her before taking a swig of his beer. “Especially because I’m not sure why you asked me here”

“I have an offer for you” Lexi explained, she pulled her badge from her hip and placed it on the bar between them.

“Wow, you made Detective” Jay picked the badge up examining it, he was genuinely happy for her, she deserved the promotion.

“So, did you!” Lexi told him, he looked up at her the badge still in his hand, he frowned at her a little confused, he was still only a Springfield Police Officer. “I told my Sergeant about you, your background, well the parts I knew to be true, I said you’d be a good fit for the unit, and I need a partner”

“Partners?” Jay asked raising his eyebrows suggestively at her, he clearly had a ‘I’ve seen you naked moment’ as he looked her up and down and subconsciously licked his lips.

“It would have to be strictly professional”

“I can be professional”

“Well then, Detective Jay Halstead” she smirked saying his full real name for the first time “you start a week Monday”


	2. Surprise Dates

##  Chapter 2 – Surprise Dates.

Lexi knocked on the door of the apartment her sister had given her the address for. They hadn’t got much time to catch up last night in the bar. After Lexi had recruited Jay, they had joined Shay, Kelly, Gabriela and Matt at their table, swapping stories and drinking.

Lexi knocked again after her initial knock went unanswered. She raised her hand to knock again, ready to do her Chicago PD knock when the door opened revealing a shirtless Kelly Severide. He wore a pair of grey sweat pants and a smile as soon as he realised it was her “Morning” he greeted, holding the door open and motioning for her to go inside.

Lexi smiled “Morning”, she walked in to the apartment and looked around, “wow nice place”

“Thanks. Coffee?” he offered walking in to the kitchen.

Following him, Lexi declined “No thanks. I’m here to pick up Shay, I’m taking her for breakfast”

Kelly chuckled “she’s not here, after you left last night she hooked up with some girl and disappeared”

Lexi shook her head, typical Shay behaviour. “Okay, thanks, I’ll get out of your way” Lexi turned to walk out of the kitchen.

“What’s the rush?” Kelly asked “I’ve got coffee and bagels right here” he flashed her his white teeth in a cheeky smile.

“Thanks, but I’m good”

“Come on,” he walked around the breakfast bar that separated them “I make a damn good bacon and egg bagel”

Lexi eyed him a little suspiciously, he was too much of a player for her liking, you could tell the way he carried himself. “I can tell your going to be trouble Severide” Lexi told him, walking around him to start making coffee.

Lexi made them both a coffee whilst Kelly fried up some bacon. Lexi sat at the breakfast bar with her coffee and admired the view. Kelly had a good physique, he clearly took care of himself.

Kelly turned with the hot pan in his hand and placed some bacon on a plate in front of Lexi to drain off some of the grease before putting it on the bagels. Lexi reached over snatching a piece of crispy bacon and Kelly smacked her hand with the spatula he had been using. 

Lexi broke a piece of the bacon off “You know that’s assault of a police officer” she popped the bacon in to her mouth.   
  
“You can cuff me anytime you like” he smirked at her, his eyes twinkled, and she swore she saw him flex his arms a little.   
  
Lexi rolled her eyes, like she had never heard that one before “oh my god, do them cheesy lines and that smile actually work?”

“Obviously not”

 “I know your kind” she told his back as he turned to the stove to get the eggs.   
  
“My kind?”   
  
“Yeah cocky, self-assured, arrogant, knows he’s good looking, too charming for his own good” Lexi explained as he placed the eggs on the waiting bagels.   
  
“You think I’m good looking?”   
  
“See out of everything I said that’s all you heard”  
  
Kelly laughed, he liked this girl, she called him on his bullshit and wasn’t scared to tell him straight “Your wrong about me”  
  
“I don’t think I am” she accepted the plate with her bagel on that he offered as he walked around the bar to sit beside her.   
  
Sitting on his stool he swung it round so he was facing her. “Let me prove it, let me take you out”   
  
“No thanks” she took a bite of her breakfast. He had been right, he made a good bagel it was delicious.   
  
“Why not? Your single right?” she nodded in answer to his question unable to answer with a mouthful of food “You’re not with that Jay guy?”  
  
Lexi swallowed and took a sip of her coffee “That Jay guy is my partner and no we’re strictly professional, but it doesn’t matter I don’t date Shay’s friends.”

They both heard the front door close and waited for Shay to enter the kitchen, “I’m so sorry” Shay threw her coat over an empty bar stool and grabbed Kelly’s bagel, taking a huge bite.   
  
“Hey!” Kelly whined taking back his half-eaten breakfast “right just for that tell your sister to go out with me”  
  
Shay looked at her sister and nodded towards Kelly. “Go out with him”

  
“Really? You always hated me dating your friends, after Theo you made me vow to never date your friends again”   
  
“Yeah, I know but this is Kelly. I know you’d be good together, plus you both love me and wouldn’t do anything to screw it up right?” she widened her eyes looking from one to the other to emphasise her point.   
  
A smug grin hung on Kelly’s lips, “See”   
  
“Just because she approves doesn’t mean I’ll go out with you” Lexi told him as her cell phone chimed in her pocket, notifying her she had a message, retrieving it she read the message from Voight. “I’ve got to go” She jumped off the stool, took the last bite of her bagel and kissed Shay on the cheek.

“Hey, what about me?” Kelly asked tapping his cheek. Lexi rolled her eyes at his audacity but obliged and kissed his cheek before walking out. “To be continued” Kelly called after her.

* * *

 

“Shay, Shay, Shay” Kelly called chasing after her in the corridor of Firehouse 51, he caught up with her before she made it to the locker room.

Shay stopped and turned to face her best friend “What’s up? I need to get ready I’m going to be late”

“About that” Kelly began “let me have your ticket?”

“What?” Shay chuckled “why?”

“I’ve been trying to convince Lexi to go out with me for like a week now and she keeps refusing. This way she won’t have a choice!” Kelly pleaded his case “come on for me”

Shay laughed at him “no way, Lexi would kill me” she began walking towards the locker room.

Kelly caught her arm stopping her pace. “Please, I’ll do your laundry for a month!”

Shay peered at him, he really wanted this, “I want a hundred bucks too, the tickets weren’t cheap!”

Kelly pulled his wallet from his back pocket, took a hundred-dollar bill from it and Shay snatched it from him putting it in her jacket pocket. Kelly kissed her cheek walking past her to the locker room to change, “just so you know I’d have paid two hundred and done your laundry for two months” he told her. Shay shook her head at him laughing, all this for a date.

* * *

 

Lexi stood in the locker room applying lip gloss in the mirror that hung on the inside of her locker door. She was rushing, Shay would be arriving to pick her up in less than twenty minutes. Lexi tipped her head upside down, ruffled her hair to give it some volume, then stood back up and began spraying hair spray in her hair, it would have to do as would the make-up she had applied in the poorly lit locker room. Her and Shay had dinner reservations and theatre tickets, they couldn’t be late.

Her phone began to ring, she saw it was Shay on the caller I.D, she ignored it, she was probably calling to say she was outside and to hurry her ass up. Lexi threw her phone in to her bag, took the knee-length black figure-hugging dress from the hanger and stepped in to it. She pulled it up over her shoulders as she walked out of the locker room carrying her shoes.

Whistles and shouts of “Damn!” greeted her as she walked on to the floor of the Intelligence Unit. “Shut up and someone zip me up!” Lexi told them pulling her hair out of the way of the zip so Dawson who was stood closest to her could fasten her dress. Lexi held on to Antonio and stepped in to her 4-inch purple stiletto heels. 

“You look amazing” Jay told her from his desk

“Thank you” her phone chimed in her pocket again signifying she had a voicemail message, “I’ve got to go” she told them waving over her shoulder as she walked down the stairs.

“See you at Molly’s later?” Jay called after her.

“Probably.”

Lexi made it through reception and out of the main precinct door without too many comments or leering looks. Lexi stood at the top of the steps looking for Shay’s car. She scanned the line of parked vehicles and stopped when she saw Kelly Severide leaning on the bonnet of his Black Camaro a bouquet of white roses in his hand wearing a suit and tie. He had clearly been watching her the whole time, waiting for her to notice him. They made eye contact and Kelly waved the bouquet at her.

Lexi descended the stairs and walked to him. “Wow, you look amazing” He told her looking at her from head to toe.

“Where’s Shay?” Lexi enquired approaching him.

Kelly offered her the roses explaining, “She sends her sincerest of apologises but she can’t make it. One of the medics for the next shift were running late, she agreed to cover for them” Lexi accepted the flowers smelling them. “She knew how much you wanted to see the show and didn’t want you to miss out, so she asked me if I’d take you. Of course, it took a lot of convincing on her part and she owes me like a hundred favours” Kelly joked.

Lexi shook her head “I will kill her when I see her!”

  
“Come on” Kelly stood up straight and held his arm for her take it “I promise I will be on my best behaviour, you might even have some fun!” he told her escorting her to the passenger side of the car.

“Maybe I should go back and get my taser”

Kelly laughed opening the car door for her “Kinky, I like it.”

“Oh god” Lexi groaned laughing as she got in to the car, “what am I getting myself in to?” she asked as Kelly walked around the car and got in to the driver’s seat. “Just for the record, this isn’t a date!”

Kelly sniggered “we’ll see”

* * *

 

“You were totally crying” Lexi teased Kelly as they walked back to his car after leaving the theatre.

Kelly shook his head chuckling at her teasing him “I had something in my eye”

Lexi had had fun with Kelly. Their conversation at dinner had flowed, he had asked her questions and seemed genuinely interested in her answers, Lexi had tried asking questions about him which he had half answered then steered the conversation elsewhere.

“oh, I see the big, strong fireman can’t admit he has emotions” Lexi laughed as they walked through the parking lot towards his car.

Kelly jogged a little in front of her reaching the car before she did, so he would be able to open the door for her. Lexi stood beside him waiting for him to open the door, “I’ll admit I was crying, if you admit this was a date”

Lexi stopped laughing but her smile didn’t fade, “Okay Severide” She leant against the car facing him “I had fun tonight” she leaned in and kissed him, pulling away she whispered “and it was a date” she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in to her she kissed him again “and now there’s nothing I want more than…” she kissed him passionately as he held her by the waist, his hands roamed to her ass and he squeezed. She could feel him getting excited, she pulled out of the kiss and said, “to take off these damn shoes!”

Kelly laughed, a proper laugh from the stomach laugh. “Tease” he chuckled opening the car door for her.

“What you think dinner and a show and I’m all yours?” Lexi got in to the car “Please, it takes more than that to get all of this!”

“And I’m more than willing to find out exactly what it does take” he kissed her before closing the door.

* * *

 

Kelly held the door of Molly’s open for Lexi to enter then followed her in. Shay and Casey were sat at the bar talking to Gabby who was cleaning glasses.

Lexi kissed Shay’s cheek and greeted Matt and Gabby as Kelly shook Matt’s hand and ordered a beer and a Gin and Tonic from Gabby. “I take it from the kiss on the cheek I’m not in trouble for the match making?” Shay asked Lexi taking a sip of her vodka soda.

“No trouble, I had fun” Lexi admitted to her, smiling at Kelly who stood on the other side of Casey leaning on the bar waiting for Gabby to serve their drinks. “How was the rest of your shift? What time did you manage to get away?”

“Rest of my shift?” Shay asked as Kelly walked around Matt to give Lexi her drink.

“Ah crap” Kelly smirked putting his arm around Lexi’s waist and pulling her in to him “I may have told a little white lie; Shay didn’t have to work”

Shay laughed “is that what he told you?” Kelly began to laugh knowing he had been caught out “He paid me a hundred dollars and agreed to do my laundry for a month if I gave him my ticket!”

“Is that so?” Lexi asked looking at Kelly.

“It was totally worth it too” Kelly confirmed leaning in and kissing Lexi.

“And hey” Lexi whined looking at her sister, “you sold me short, I’m worth at least two hundred”

Shay laughed “that’s exactly what he said”

* * *

 

Jay glanced at his partner riding shotgun, she was looking down at her cell phone, grinning from ear to ear and chewing her bottom lip. “You know you’re going to have to hide that smile when we get to the victim’s house” Jay advised her.

Lexi laughed, cleared her throat and clicked the lock button on her phone before putting it in her lap. She felt like a teenager, giddy and giggling at her phone.

“Severide?” Jay questioned.

Lexi peeked at him quickly, his expression was tense, “Maybe” she replied, “Jealous?”

“You know I am” Jay admitted not taking his eyes off the road. “But it’s nice to see you smiling, I want you to be happy.” Jay sincerely meant it, he wanted her to be happy, he liked to see her smiling, even if he wasn’t the reason behind the smile.

Lexi felt like shit, she knew she shouldn’t be throwing Kelly in his face, but she also needed him to understand they were partners and friends, nothing more.


	3. Flirting & Jealousy.

**A few months later.**

“I don’t like it!” Kelly told Lexi who was sat in the passenger seat of his car outside Molly’s. He had picked Lexi up from the precinct and drove them to Molly’s. They were in the middle of a heated discussion so decided to wait before they went inside. “I saw the way he was smiling at you on scene today and I don’t like”

 “So what people can’t smile at me now?” Lexi huffed “Kelly, he’s my partner and friend, nothing more. I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that!”

 “Have you told him that?” Kelly wasn’t shouting but his voice was raised above his usual volume and Lexi knew he was reaching boiling point.

 “Yes! Jay is fully aware” Lexi got out of the car, she needed a drink and out of this argument.

 Kelly followed her lead and got out of the car, jogging a little to catch up with her as she marched towards Molly’s. “Well I don’t think he got the message!”

 “I’m tired of this fight Kelly. It’s the same thing all the time” Lexi stopped outside Molly’s door and turned to speak to Kelly. “Either deal with the fact Jay is my partner, that he’s going to be around, in my life, or don’t deal with it and walk away.”

 Kelly walked around her and in to Molly’s without responding.

* * *

 

 A few hours later Lexi sat at the bar with Shay beside her and Gabby stood behind the bar, serving customers and talking to them when she could. Lexi glanced over at Kelly at the other end of the bar.

 Kelly stood with Cruz, Otis and three random women, flirting and drinking. The red head stood closest to Kelly, kept smiling, leaning in to him, touching his arm as she spoke. Kelly caught Lexi watching and gave the red head his best charming smile and put his hand on her waist.

 Lexi had seen enough she looked away “Gabby, can I get a shot of tequila?” she asked.

 “You two had a fight?” Shay asked as Gabby obliged and began pouring the shot.

 Lexi nodded taking the shot and knocking it back. “How’d you guess?”

 “You know he’s only doing it to make you jealous” Gabby advised looking at Kelly. The red head had moved closer to him so was blocking the view of Kelly’s face, but Gabby could tell he was doing his most dashing smile and he still had his hand on her waist.

 “Yeah well it’s working” Lexi groaned.

“I’m going to go talk to him” Shay began climbing off her stool.

 “No, no” Lexi told her pulling her arm to stop her. “Let him do what he wants, I think it’s his way of telling me it’s over, but I’m not going…” Lexi’s phone ringing distracted her seeing Jay’s name on the caller I.D. “What’s up partner?” Lexi answered tapping Shay’s bar stool to tell her to sit back down.

 “Lex thank god; I need your help” Jay spoke quickly. Lexi laughed, she knew he was on a date tonight, he must have wanted rescuing. “I called Adam, but he just laughed, you have to come save me”

 Lexi chuckled. “It really that bad?”

 “Yes, I’m hiding in the bathroom! I’d climb out the window if it were big enough!”

 “Tell me where you are?” Jay gave her the name of the bar and told her to hurry “Just go back to the table. I’ll get a cab and be there in like 20 minutes” Lexi hung up the phone and stood from her chair, she kissed Shay’s cheek and put on her coat. “I’ll see you at home later”

 

* * *

 

Jay sat at the table across from his date, Kate, her online profile had seemed quite standard, she was pretty in a quirky kind of way, they had exchanged a few messages and she had come across as someone who was smart and normal.

 “Oh shit” Jay said looking up at the door of the bar as Lexi walked in.

 “Really Jay?” Lexi said loudly as she got to the table pointing at his date.

 “Lexi, come on, don’t do this” Jay said standing up playing along trying to guide her back as if he were trying to get her to leave.

 “Don’t do this!” Lexi repeated, “I’m pregnant!” Lexi revealed to the entire bar “If you had bothered to pick up your damn phone, I wouldn’t have had to track you down!” Lexi burst in to tears and turned to walk out of the bar.

“LEXI” Jay called after her. He turned back to the table and picked up his jacket from the back of the chair he had been sat in. “I’m so sorry Kate” He took some money from his pocket and put it on the table before chasing Lexi out of the bar.

* * *

 

Lexi waited around the corner from the bar for Jay to catch up, he was laughing as he approached her. “Nice work with the crying!” Jay praised her

“I thought it would make it more believable”

 “Come on” Jay said checking behind him to make sure Kate hadn’t followed. “Let’s get out of here before she comes out” he suggested putting his arm around Lexi and walking down the street.

 Lexi interlaced her fingers with his that hung over her shoulder. “Come on then, what did I just rescue you from?”

 “Oh man! She was talking about her best friend Sarah for like 40 minutes” Jay began explaining. “All the places they had been, all the plans they had, then she takes out her phone and shows me a picture, of a dog, in a dress!” Lexi howled with laughter, tears streamed down her face. “It’s not that funny!” Jay used his arm around her neck and their interlaced fingers to swing her in front of him, bent at the waist and threw her over his shoulder. All whilst she was still laughing.

 “Jay put me down before you drop me!” Lexi laughed.

 Jay continued to walk with her slung over his shoulder. “I blame you, you know”

 “Blame me for what?”

 “All these bad dates I have to go on” Jay stopped walking and put her down gently on her feet.

 “How is your poor choice of tinder dates my fault?” she questioned looking up at him.

 “If you would just accept the fact that you want me” Jay began stepping closer to her, he whispered “If you just gave in to me”

 Lexi smirked up at him, he was trying to seduce her. “I’m spoken for”

 Jay leant down so their faces were level, their noses brushing. “So, you do want me?” Jay asked noticing she didn’t deny wanting him.

 “I do want you” Lexi looked at him through her eyelashes “to take me for a drink” she remarked pushing him back from her laughing.

* * *

 

Kelly looked at the bar to see if Lexi was still watching him, he couldn’t find her, she was gone. Shay was still there now talking with Burgess but no Lexi. Kelly excused himself from the group and walked to Shay. “Where’s Lexi?”

 “She couldn’t watch you flirting anymore, so she took off about an hour ago” Shay told him, her tone of voice told him she didn’t approve.

 “I wasn’t flirting” Kelly denied smirking a little.

 “Kelly, I don’t know what you guys are fighting about but whatever it is, she doesn’t deserve you being a dick” Shay informed him “whatever’s going on, fix it or don’t, but if you are breaking up with her, you need to tell her straight”

“Breaking up? Who said anything about breaking up?” Kelly genuinely looked shocked.

“She seemed to think you having your hands all over another woman was your way of saying its over”

 “I wasn’t all…” Kelly protested

 Shay held her hand up interrupting his protest. “Call her and make it right.”

* * *

 

 Jay and Lexi were playing pool at a bar not far from where Lexi had rescued Jay from his bad date. It was almost closing time; the place was practically empty. They had been drinking, laughing, having fun.

 Lexi took her shot, potting the ball. “Can I crash at yours tonight?” she asked standing up straight and moving to the side so Jay could take his shot.

 “Trouble in paradise?” he asked, Lexi didn’t respond he looked up at her to see her too busy on her phone.

  ** _Message from Kelly_ :** I’m sorry. Can we work this out?

**_Lexi:_** You strike out with the red head?

**_Kelly:_** Jealous?

**_Lexi:_** Dick.

**_Kelly:_** where are you?

**_Lexi:_** with Jay. Jealous?

**_Kelly:_** I’ll come pick you up and I’ll show you how jealous I am!

**_Lexi:_** Corner of 51st – Paddy’s bar.

 

“What do I get if I make this shot?” Jay ask motioning towards the table, chalking the end of his pool cue.

 Lexi laughed “just take the shot” she sipped her beer then put it back down.

 “Come on” he walked to stand in front of her “let’s make it interesting”

 “What did you have in mind?” she whispered, stroking the exposed skin on his arm where he had rolled up his shirt sleeve.

 The tone of her voice gave him goose bumps, he loved it when she flirted with him. The promise to keep their relationship professional since their undercover stint hadn’t been broken, but it didn’t mean they couldn’t do some harmless flirting occasionally. But tonight, he was going to push his luck.

 Lexi had told him about her fight with Kelly, about him flirting with some woman at Molly’s so he was going to take a shot at her. Maybe make her see he was better for her then Severide was.

 Jay couldn’t stop thinking about her body underneath his, the feel of her skin against his, the sounds she made when he entered her and hit the right spot. “I make this shot, you come home with me” Jay propositioned.

 Lexi looked him dead in the eye “you got yourself a deal, Halstead”

 “Yeah?” Jay asked surprises she had agreed, “No bullshit”

 “When have I ever lied to you?” it was a running joke between them about lying to one another. Obviously, they had lied whilst undercover but not since then.  

Jay crouched over the table, setting up the shot, getting his eyeline just right, he turned his head to look at Lexi who stood beside him watching the action unfold. “I’m not letting you back out” Jay warned her.

 “Just take the shot Romeo” she demanded.

Jay pulled the cue back ready to launch it, he could tell the shot was going to be perfect, there was nothing in his way, he was going to sink the ball in the top corner then he was going home with the girl.

Simultaneously Jay pushed the cue forward as Lexi knocked her hip in to his knocking the white ball completely off his intended course. Jay stayed in position and hung his head, she had played him. He stood up smirking at her “Real funny”

Lexi laughed reading a message on her phone before picking her coat up, as she pushed her arms through her jacket she said, “see you tomorrow partner” she walked around the opposite side of the pool table to him, she knew if she passed him, he would tickle her or poke her in the ribs for tricking him.

 “Need a ride?” he called after her, she waved her hand over the top of her head to tell him no as she exited the bar.

 Jay put on his own jacket and left a few dollars by their empty beer glasses as a tip to the serving waitress before following her out.  

 He stopped walking seeing Lexi kissing Kelly. Kelly had pulled up at the curb outside and got out of the car, Kelly was leaning on the car, Lexi leaning in to him and kissing him passionately. “Let’s get out of here” Kelly told her smiling, Jay thought he looked like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, Kelly’s smile couldn’t get any bigger.

 Lexi made eye contact with Jay and he couldn’t help but think the little display had been for his benefit. Lexi wanted Jay to know that nothing could or would happen between the two of them, and if she had to show him by being with Kelly then so be it.

* * *

 

**A few months later.**

Kelly stood in the living room of the Shay family home. It was a picture-perfect Hallmark Christmas scene. Log fire burning, an immaculate Christmas tree, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and siblings milling around, drinking and talking, enjoying each other’s company.

 Lexi and Shay had made Kelly spend the Christmas holidays with them. Their mother had made an amazing Christmas dinner with all the trimmings and now everyone was doing their own thing.

 Kelly watched Lexi run from her 8-year-old cousin, Dylan, they were playing cops and robbers. Lexi had bought him a toy police badge, gun belt, gun, and handcuffs. Lexi ran behind the sofa, as Dylan chased her. “You’ll never take me alive” Lexi shouted before doing a maniacal laugh.

 Shay stood behind Kelly, resting her chin on his shoulder. “How’s it going over here?”

 Kelly chuckled watching Dylan pretend to shoot Lexi, who proceeded to limp as if she had been shot in the leg. "Perfect” Kelly told her.

 Kelly had had a wonderful time with Lexi and Shay. Spending Christmas with his two favourite people couldn’t have been better. Arriving Christmas eve, they had watched Christmas movies, ate their body weight in chocolate and cake, and drank too much. The only down fall had been, Walter, their father had made Kelly and Lexi sleep in separate rooms. 

 Shay moved her head, so she could see Kelly’s face better, “If you could see the smile on your face right now!” Shay smiled at her best friend.

 Kelly laughed at her finally taking his eyes off Lexi and looking at Shay. “What?” Kelly asked “I’m happy”

 “Your more than happy” Shay told him “oh my god, your totally in love.”

 Kelly watched her and then looked back at Shay laughing “I think I am.”

 Lexi yelled “I’m innocent!” as Dylan cuffed her and began leading her out of the living room to jail.

 Shay and Kelly laughed at Lexi as she was marched out of the room, head hanging down. “Kelly Severide, in love, who would have thought it” Shay chuckled.

 

* * *

 

Kelly, Shay, and Lexi stood in the kitchen of the Shay family home, the children had all been put to bed leaving the ten adults to drink and talk.

 Kelly and Lexi stood beside each other, Kelly’s arm around her waist. They were listening to Lexi’s Uncle Hank tell his latest fishing trip story. Everyone laughed and nodded in the correct places.

 Kelly nudged Lexi’s hair from her ear with his nose, kissing her cheek lightly he whispered, “I love you.”

 Lexi gasped a little and looked in to his eyes before kissing him lightly on the lips, “I love you too” she whispered back.

 “Ah” Uncle Hank said loudly “look at that, young love” Lexi and Kelly laughed noticing all eyes had fallen on them. “How did you two love birds meet?”

 “Shay introduced us” Kelly explained.

 “You know she’s never bought a boyfriend home?” Karen, their mother advised. “You must be special”

 “Mom” Lexi groaned.

 Kelly laughed at Lexi becoming uncomfortable at her Mom’s revelations. “Hopefully I’m the first and last.” Kelly stated.


	4. Proposals

**_Three years later. Scene written by @LottyCharl_ **

 “Hey Shay, can I borrow you for a minute?” Kelly Said, catching his best friend between the doors and the common room.

 “Sure, what can I do for ya?” Shay asked, allowing him to lead her into the conference room.

 “I wanted to ask you something...” he said, still hesitant about going through with this or not.

 “Spit it out then.”

 “I want to ask Lexi to marry me.” Kelly said, following her instructions and cutting straight to the point.

 “Oh. okay.” Shay said, clearly a little shocked.

 “If you don’t think it’s a good idea, just forget I ever said anything.” Kelly said, trying to get away from the hole he felt like he had just dug for himself.

 “No, it’s not that...” Shay began speaking slowly. “First of all,”

 Kelly interrupted “First of all? There’s more?” Kelly swallowed hard, Shay watched the panic wash over him and she couldn’t help but smile at his uneasiness.

 “First of all,” Shay continued grinning “what took you so damn long? What it’s been three years and you still haven’t put a ring on her! Second, I will NOT wear flowers in my hair or a hideous colour dress, red is preferable!” Shay joked although partly serious.

 “Don’t do that to me, I thought you hated the idea.” Kelly groaned pushing his best friend lightly.

 “Oh, I do, who on earth would want you as a brother in law. But you two are perfect for each other, how could I deny the credit for setting you guys up in the first place.” Shay said with a smile. “Congrats, at least you got your way with one of us.”

 “What’s he done?” Gabby asked, sticking her head around the door.

 “Nothing.” Kelly answered too quickly earning himself raised eyebrows from Gabby.

 “I need you to come sign some paperwork.” Gabby stated turning her attention back to Shay.

 “Coming!” Shay said, “I’m picking the ring too” Shay whispered to him winking at Kelly on her way out.

 “What was that about then?” Gabby asked.

 “Nothing.” Shay said suspiciously, miming zipping her lips closed.

 “Yeah, like that’ll last.” Gabby said with a chuckle.

****

* * *

 

**_A few weeks later._ **

Lexi sat beside Kelly at their dinner table, Shay sat across from them, their dirty dinner plates still on the table, starting their second bottle of red wine. They had all been busy lately, they had had this dinner planned for two weeks, a night for them to spend together, to catch up with one another.

 Shay refilled their wine glasses, “dinner was amazing Lex, thank you”

 “I second that, thank you” Kelly told her putting his hand on her leg and squeezing lightly.

 “Glad you liked it” Lexi put her hand atop Kelly’s on her leg and leaned forward to pick up her wine glass. “But I do have ulterior motives” Lexi sat back in her chair and took a sip of wine, she watched them both exchange a worrying look. “I’ve been asked to go undercover”

 Kelly took his hand from her leg and put his wine glass on the table, he looked at Shay who was staring back at him waiting for his reaction. “Are you asking permission or telling us?” Kelly questioned.

 “I don’t need permission” Lexi advised him. Kelly stood up walking to the door to leave the room, Lexi called after him. “Don’t do that, don’t walk away. We need to talk about this”

 Kelly stopped half turning to look at her. “Talk about what? Sounds like you’ve already decided to me”

 “I haven’t made any decisions. Please, can we talk about this like adults?” Lexi implored.

 Kelly turned to face the table but didn’t move to sit back down, he crossed his arms over his chest, his signature ‘I’m pissed’ pose. “You have anything to say about this?” Kelly asked looking at Shay.

 “What’s it for?” Shay queried, “what’s the job?”

 Lexi shook her head, “I can’t discuss it” she knew it wasn’t what they wanted to hear but she knew if she told them the details, they would try to stop her from doing it.

 Kelly laughed without humour. “Is it with or without Jay?”

 “Without” Lexi told him. Kelly wasn’t sure if he felt better about the fact she wouldn’t be with Jay or that Jay wouldn’t be there to help her.

 Kelly asked the million-dollar question, “How long for?”

 Lexi heaved a sigh, this wouldn’t go down well. “Six months, a year maximum.” No one spoke, silence filled the room as they all contemplated the revelations.

 “If you do this,” Kelly spoke breaking the silence, Lexi made eye contact with him, his expression was stern. “We’re done. I won’t wait around for you”

 “Thanks for the support” Lexi stood and walked past him, bumping his shoulder as she barged past him out of the room and out of the apartment.

 

* * *

Jay unlocked his apartment door and went to the kitchen after buzzing Lexi in to his building. He popped the tops off two bottles of beer and put hers on the counter top where she always sat. Being partners she had been to Jay’s apartment numerous times, after having a particularly hard day, they would have a beer together, talk it out, help each other deal with whatever the case had thrown at them.

 He heard the door open and Lexi appeared a few seconds later, she hoisted herself on to the counter top and took a drink from the bottle. “I made the spare bed up, figured you’d be round” Jay told her drinking his own beer twisting the beer caps around in his hand.

 “Thanks” Lexi sighed peeling the label on her beer bottle.

 “It went as well as can be expected then?”

 “Worse” Lexi took another swig of her beer, looking up at the ceiling she blinked back tears. “Kelly told me he wouldn’t wait for me”

 Jay did think that was a bit of a dick move, giving her an ultimatum. Kelly knew what he was getting in to when they started dating, and Kelly had pursued her. “Can’t say I blame him” Lexi shot at a look at him “don’t give me that look. I’d be pissed too if you were my girl and you were leaving me”

 Lexi gasped “oh my god, brain melting” Lexi faked a pain in her head, scrunching up her face, holding a hand to her head “Jay Halstead agreeing with Kelly Severide, brain can’t take it.”

 Jay threw the bottle tops at her, laughing at her impeccable acting skills. “I am kinda pissed at you too. You’d be leaving me too; you know?”

 Lexi read his expression, he was serious, he was pissed at her. “Oh, come on, Jay, you of all people should understand”

 “I’m not saying I don’t understand it. It would be a great opportunity and you’d kick ass, but I still don’t like the idea of you going away for a year either”

 “Yeah well you might get your wish” Lexi told him jumping down from the surface “I haven’t decided yet, I’ve got until the end of the week.”

****

* * *

 

The following morning Jay stood in the kitchen of the apartment that belonged to Lexi, Kelly and Shay. “Lexi, come on, we’re going to be late” he called up the stairs.  

 They were due at the park in less than hour. It was a fundraising day for the children’s cancer department at Chicago Med. The CPD were playing a game of baseball against the CFD, there was going to be fairground rides, games, barbecues.

 Jay had taken her home on the way to the park to change, they were already running late as Lexi had insisted, they wait for Shay and Kelly to leave before she went in. Jay had been trying to leave for the last 15 minutes, he wanted to make sure he got a parking space. “I’m coming; I’m coming” Lexi said walking down the stairs.

“Wow!” Jay exclaimed his eyes wide taking her outfit in. She wore a blue and white stripped baseball jersey with CPD embossed over the chest in big black letters, a pair of dark blue ripped denim shorts that you could barely see as the jersey was so long, a pair of black Nike sneakers and a baseball cap to match her jersey.

 “Put your tongue away” Lexi laughed slapping his arm as she passed him to walk out the door.

 “Remind me to thank Burgess for sorting out the uniforms when I see her” Jay joked following her out the door.

 Lexi walked around the fair with Jay and Burgess eating candy floss looking at all the stalls. Lexi had managed to avoid Shay and Kelly for most of the day. They had played their game of baseball, the CPD won. Kelly had purposely taken the position of pitcher, so he wouldn’t be able to speak with her and Shay was an outfielder so wasn’t close enough to have a conversation with.

 Lexi noticed Shay in the queue about to get on the ferries wheel alone. “Hey Jay” she handed him her candy floss and nodded towards the ride “I’ll catch up” she told him as she quickly ran over as Shay gave her ticket to the ride operator, “room for one more?” Lexi asked leaning over Shay’s shoulder.

 “Always” Shay smiled sweetly at her sister. Lexi gave her tickets to the ride operator and climbed in to the seat beside her sister.

 “Still mad at me?” Lexi enquired as the ride moved around to fill up the next empty seats.

 “I was never mad at you” Shay told her.

 “Kelly on the other hand” Lexi smiled sadly.

 “He’s not mad either, he’s just scared to lose you.” Shay explained. Sometimes Lexi thought Shay knew Kelly better than he knew himself. “We both are. Undercover work is dangerous, we know that, we don’t want anything to happen to you”

 The ride moved again, filling up another empty carriage. “I’m not going” Lexi told her “I talked it out with Jay last night and I’ve made my decision, I’m staying here with you and Kelly”

 “And Jay?” Shay questioned a cynical look on face.

 “Yes, and Jay” Lexi admitted “he’s my family too!”

 The ride began and as they reached the peak, Lexi saw Kelly in the crowd, he was leaning on a post, a beer in hand watching her. He had obviously been watching them both on the ride for a while. Lexi couldn’t quite read his expression, he didn’t look angry or upset, he looked quite sweet, he was looking at her adoringly, like he was seeing her for the first time and falling in love with her right in that moment.

 Neither of them broke eye contact as the ride did a whole turn, then a ride car passed in front of them and Lexi lost him, when the car was out of her view again, he was gone, she couldn’t see him.

 “Lexi” Kelly called her name to get her attention as the seat she was in got to the bottom of its rotation within the circle. Lexi looked around and saw him standing on the ride’s platform a small box in his hand “Marry me?”

 The ride continued, and she was backing away from him “what?” she wasn’t sure she had heard him correctly.

 “MARRY ME?” he shouted up at her as she got further away from him.

 Lexi looked over the side of the cart, looking down at him smiling up at her, the ring box in hand. Had he just said what she thought he said? “Is he?” Lexi asked Shay.

 Shay laughed nodding like crazy “Yes!”

 This hadn’t been Kelly’s proposal plan but watching her he couldn’t deny how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be with her. Going undercover for a year or not he wanted to be with her. Wanted to marry her and he wasn’t going to wait any longer to ask her.

 By the time the ride completed its next circle a crowd of their CFD and CPD friends and colleagues had formed, watching the proposal unfold. Lexi was out the seat the second the operator unfastened the safety bar, she walked toward Kelly who got down on one knee and opened the small red ring box he held in his hand “Marry me?” he repeated.

 “Yes” Lexi answered leaning down to kiss him.

 The crowd erupted in to cheers. Shay waited for their kiss to end then she jumped on them both hugging them excitedly.

 The three of them walked off the platform of the ride down to their waiting friends. Hugs were exchanged, kisses on cheeks given, and congratulatory hand-shakes shared.

 As the mob of Chicago’s finest dissipated Lexi saw Jay standing on the edge of the crowd observing her. She swore for a split second she saw tears in his eyes then his friendly smile returned, and he was walking towards her arms outstretched to hug her.

 “Congratulations” He said embracing her.

 “Thank you” she returned the hug and squeezed him a little tighter than she should.

 Suddenly Jay was awash with the feeling it was last the time he would hold her. Every time she would fight with Kelly, Jay had a small flicker of hope that this would be it, the last fight they had, they would break up and Lexi would be single. Single and fair game to pursue, Jay could take the time to convince her they would be good partners professionally and unprofessionally. But that was over now, that was never going to happen now they were engaged.

****

* * *

 

Lexi sat on the kitchen counter wearing Kelly’s baseball jersey from the day before. Shirtless Kelly stood in front of her, his hands on her hips, her arms wrapped around his neck. They were so wrapped up in their kiss they hadn’t heard Shay come in the front door. 

 “Urgh, get a room” Shay teased as she walked in to the kitchen. She had spent the night at Gabby’s giving the newly engaged couple a free house. Shay took a seat at the breakfast bar putting her bag on the seat beside her, as Kelly and Lexi parted.

 “Morning sunshine” Kelly said loudly seeing Shay was hungover.

 “Less of the sunshine please” Shay requested as Kelly poured her a mug of coffee.

 Lexi turned still sat on the kitchen counter top, so she could see Shay, “you and Gabby do some more tequila celebrating when we left.” Lexi concluded rather than asked.

 Shay whimpered “oh god, please don’t mention alcohol to me” Lexi thought Shay looked a little green as she accepted the coffee from Kelly. “So, what are you two love birds up to today?” Shay asked bringing the coffee mug to her lips and inhaling the aroma.

 They both began laughing, but it was Kelly who replied “We need to go bed shopping. We kind of broke ours last night” Kelly leant over the breakfast bar a smug smile on his face.

 “Ew” Shay scrunched up her face in disgust “I don’t need or want to know!” her expression only made Kelly and Lexi laugh harder. Lexi jumped down from the counter and took a mug from the cabinet to pour herself a coffee. “I bought you these” Shay leant over in to her bag and pulled out some bridal magazines, throwing them on to the counter top.

 Lexi glanced at them, “thanks but it’s a bit soon isn’t it?” Shay looked a little confused. “I’m in no rush to get married” Lexi confessed looking at Kelly, who looked over his shoulder at her “I was thinking a long engagement, unless you were thinking differently?”

 “No, a long engagement is fine with me” Kelly told her standing beside her and kissing her neck. “Engaged sex is so much better than regular sex!”

 “Kelly, come on, I’m already suffering here!” Shay groaned.


	5. Pregnancy, Partners & Pursuits.

**Two months later.**

Lexi sat in the bathroom in a bit of a daze, she had not had the day she expected. It started off normal, coffee, work, paperwork, coffee, interviews, investigating, more paperwork, more coffee but the afternoon had taken a slight detour when she had suddenly thrown up in the bathroom at work. Thankfully no one else had seen her and she had taken a trip to the drug store on the way home.

Now she stared down at the test that sat on the sink edge showing two thick blue lines.

* * *

 

Kelly and Shay entered the apartment throwing their bags down by the door. Kelly noticed Lexi’s keys and jacket thrown over the chair in the living room and called her name. He listened for a reply but heard none.

“Maybe she’s in the shower” Shay suggested slumping down on to the sofa.

“In that case” Kelly started for the stairs “I’m going to join her.”

Kelly took the stairs two at a time and went through the bedroom he shared with Lexi to the adjacent bathroom. “Lex” he said bursting in through the unlocked door. He looked down at her sat on the edge of the bath then followed her gaze to the sink edge.

Lexi looked up at him smiling, happy tears in her eyes “It’s positive” she told him when he looked back at her for confirmation.

“WOO!” Kelly shouted. Kelly’s smile couldn’t get any bigger, he kissed her knocking her off balance and in to the empty bath tub, falling atop her.

“KELLY!” Lexi shouted laughing before he kissed her again.

“What’s all the commotion?” Shay asked coming in to the room as Kelly stood up straight out of the empty bath. Kelly pointed to the pregnancy test on the sink.

“Oh my god!” Shay squealed. “How far gone are you?” She asked as Kelly pulled Lexi out of the bath to stand up right.

“I think about three months” Lexi guessed “we’ll have to go to the doctors to have it confirmed. I’ll make an appointment for day after tomorrow”

“I’m there” Kelly beamed.

* * *

 

A few days later Lexi sat in the passenger seat of the pick-up truck, Jay in the driver’s seat. They were parked on a residential street watching a house, 10 houses down. “Is this guy ever going to show?” Jay asked, they had been there almost 4 hours and there was no sign of the suspected violent car jacker.

“I’m going to be late tomorrow” Lexi informed him “Adam’s going to cover for me here if this guy doesn’t show today.”

“Cool, doing anything exciting?” Jay asked watching a car drive by them.

“No, just a check-up”

Another car passed and parked four cars in front of them. “That’s him” Jay confirmed sitting up straight in the seat. “6 foot 1, dark shaggy hair, driving a blue mustang”

“Let’s do this” Lexi agreed opening the car door and stepping out.

Jay followed her out of the car, closing his door he called the suspects name. “Owen Fairburn” Jay called as he stepped on to the curb and Owen exited his car. Owen looked up and saw them walking towards him. He took off running away from them, ducking down the side of a house.

Lexi gave chase “he’s heading to King and Arthur, I’ll cut him off” she heard Jay call to her as he doubled back to get the car. Lexi’s adrenaline kicked up as her feet carried her to the side of the house the suspect had fled down.

Coming to the end of the house, Lexi drew her gun before sweeping around the corner. She wasn’t quick enough, a metal pole hit her outstretched arms, knocking the gun from her hands.

Lexi took a step back trying to get out of reach of the swing of the pole, she managed to catch the pole mid swing before it hit her head, Owen used the momentum to push her back, pinning her against the metal chain link fence. He bought up his knee and connected with her right-side ribs, she yelped in pain. Still grappling for the pole, she headbutted him forcing him back breaking his nose.

Owen had control of the pole and didn’t hesitate as he swung it connecting with her right side again, Lexi doubled over, losing her breath, Owen took the opportunity swung again and connected with the right side of her head.

* * *

 

Kelly sat at the Squad 3 table playing cards with Cruz and Cap. He couldn’t keep the smile from his face and every time someone asked him why he was so happy he just replied with “life.”

The buzzer sounded alerting them to a call. “Ambulance 61. Officer down corner of King and Arthur. Unconscious and unresponsive due to head trauma”

Kelly shot to his feet as Shay and Dawson ran from the main doors towards the ambulance. Kelly spoke as he ran alongside Shay to Ambulance 61. “Shay, Lexi was there today on a stakeout”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I know” she told him jumping in to the ambulance and closing the door.

* * *

 

Kelly rushed through the automatic doors in to the waiting room of Chicago Med’s emergency room. Jay, Hank, Adam, Burgess, Shay and Gabby were stood and sat waiting for news. “Where is she?” Kelly asked walking directly to Shay.

“They’re assessing her now” Shay told him putting her hands on his shoulders to hold him in place, so she could talk to him. “She’s okay.” She assured him “She woke up on scene, she was out for less than two minutes”

“What about the baby?” Kelly asked walking around Shay and through the next set of automatic doors in to the main emergency room.   
  
“Did he say baby?” Jay asked looking at Shay for answers. Shay nodded solemnly before following Kelly. “Oh god!” Jay sat down on a chair his head in his hands “I saw him hit her in the stomach with that pole, I was too far away to stop it”

“Jay it’s not your fault” Hank told him.

Jay found his anger, standing up he stood in front of Voight “Hank, I want this guy”

“Well let’s go get him” Voight agreed. “Keep us posted” Hank told Gabby following Jay out of the door.

* * *

 

Jay walked slowly towards the hospital room he had been directed to by the Nurse on reception. The door was closed but he could see Lexi sleeping on the bed, her face bruised almost to a point of being unrecognisable and Kelly sat in the seat beside her bed, holding her hand, watching her like she was about to burst in to flame or something.

He knocked lightly on the door and saw Kelly look in his direction then go back to watching Lexi. Jay opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind him quietly, he walked to the end of the bed and assessed his partner. “How is she?”

“How do you think she is?” Kelly spat angrily at him “she’s been beaten up”

“The baby?” Jay questioned. Kelly shook his head, no. “Kelly, I didn’t know, if…”

“Where the hell were you?” Kelly interrupted his apology. Jay didn’t answer, it didn’t matter where he was, what mattered was that he wasn’t there when he was supposed to be. “I’d never ask her to quit her job, mainly because I know she wouldn’t” Kelly’s gaze never left Lexi’s face. “and because I know she has you looking out for her. Your supposed to have her back.”

“We’re gonna get this guy, I promise you”

“That won’t bring back our kid!” Kelly snarled at him, “just get out! Stay away from us!”

* * *

 

**_Two weeks later._ **

Jay knocked on the door of his partner’s apartment and waited. Shay had called him and asked him to check in on Lexi, Shay had been out on jobs all day and hadn’t had chance to call in on her. Jay hadn’t seen Lexi since the incident, Kelly had asked him to stay away in a not so polite way. Jay didn’t want to cause Lexi any further upset so had kept his distance as requested.

Jay heard the lock disengage then Lexi opened the door. “Took you long enough” Jay joked knowing she was probably hobbling around as she had three broken ribs.

Lexi laughed “Dick! Ow, don’t make me laugh, it hurts!” Lexi walked back in to the apartment, Jay following her closing the door behind him. “Let me guess, Shay called you” Lexi assessed walking in to the kitchen.

“Wow you have some amazing detective skills or is it a twin thing?” Jay jested taking a seat at the counter as Lexi prepared them both a mug of coffee.

“Someone’s on point today! Get laid last night?” Lexi bantered back.

Jay smirked, he loved their back and forth. “You know I only have eyes for you” Lexi passed him his coffee sneering at him. “Speaking of which, you look amazing by the way!”

Lexi was wearing baggy navy-blue sweat pants, a black tank top, her hair was a little wild, pulled in to a messy bun upon her head. The bruise on the side of her head from the blow, spread down her cheek beginning to turn yellow as it healed. “Thanks, I’m just on my way to my cover shoot for Vogue magazine!”

Jay chuckled taking a sip of his coffee. “Seriously, how are you doing?”

“Better” Lexi confirmed “Ribs still hurt, but I’m getting there. I’m going to physical therapy tomorrow. Docs want to evaluate me before I can be cleared for duty.”

“Severide taking good care of you?”

Lexi sighed deeply, “he took off for a couple days. He doesn’t do well with dealing with his emotions. It all got a bit too much for him”   
  
Jay was livid at Kelly, he had told Jay to stay away and then disappeared and left Lexi alone. Who would leave her at a time like this? After all she had just been through? What kind of a man did that? Jay reigned in his anger and spoke softly. “Lexi I’m sorry.” He began looking down at his lap, he couldn’t look her in the eye, he felt so guilty for everything that had happened, what she had been through, for not having her back. “When I saw you lying there, I thought…”

“Don’t…” Lexi cautioned walking over to him, standing in front of him. There was no reason for him to think about what if’s, to question what could have happened.

Jay refused to look at her. “I never should have…”

“Never should have what?” Lexi interrupted him “let me do my job?” She put her hand under his chin and guided his head up forcing him to look at her “Don’t do that, Jay. That’s not your burden to bare. It’s not your fault"  
He pulled his head from her grasp, not able to take her intense stare. He knew she meant it, she didn’t believe it was his fault, but he felt responsible. “But I should have…”

Lexi interrupted him again “It’s not your fault, neither of us did anything wrong! We did the same thing we’ve done a hundred times before. I don’t blame you, please don’t blame yourself. I don’t blame anyone except Owen!”  
“We’re close” He told her referring to apprehending Owen. “We have some solid leads; we know he’s still in Chicago. Voight’s putting pressure on everyone we can”

 Lexi nodded, knowing they were doing all they could to get the culprit. Lexi kissed his forehead lightly. Jay stood up abruptly and walked around her, taking his half empty coffee mug to the sink. He poured the liquid down the drain. “Jay” Lexi said, Jay didn’t turn around, she saw him inhale and exhale. Lexi walked to stand behind him “Jay look at me” She demanded, Jay turned meeting her eyes. “I’m going to say it again, so you can hear me. It’s not your fault”

 Jay stepped towards her and took her in his arms, gently, careful not to hurt her ribs. “Wanna take a ride to the district? Say hey to everybody” Jay suggested coming out of the hug.

 “Yeah” Lexi smiled, she wanted to get out of the house “just give me a minute to make myself presentable”

 Jay grinned “I thought you were Vogue ready”

* * *

 

Lexi took Jay’s hand as she stepped down out of the pick-up truck. “Come on, now you’re just milking it” Jay bantered as Lexi grimaced holding her side as pain shot through her ribs.

 Lexi couldn’t help but laugh at her partner “Douchebag”. Lexi and Jay were still laughing as they entered the main Intelligence Unit. Finding the room empty, they walked towards the interrogation rooms.

 Voight and Dawson were stood having a heated discussion in the corridor, Ruzek, Atwater, Burgess and Olinsky stood by watching. “She doesn’t need to know!” Dawson spat at Voight. “We can tell her after the fact!” 

 “Hey guys” Jay called walking towards them followed by Lexi interrupting their feud. “I bought a friend to say hi” Jay stood to the side revealing Lexi walking behind him.

 “Did you call him?” Dawson asked looking at Voight but pointing at Jay as the rest of the team walked around them to greet Lexi.

 “It’s good to see you” Voight told Lexi walking away from Dawson and hugging her. “Your timing couldn’t be better. We picked up Owen about 40 minutes ago, we’ve got him in room one”.

 Lexi understood what their argument had been about. Voight had wanted to call Lexi, give her the opportunity to face the man who had hurt her, Dawson had wanted to follow procedure.

 Lexi began towards to the room, Dawson stepped in front of her blocking her path. “I can’t let you do this”

 “I’m going in there.” Lexi told him grinding her teeth trying to control her anger “So arrest me or fire me” Dawson didn’t move to do either “then get out of my way.” At a stand-off neither one willing to back down, they stared each other down.

 “Dawson move out her way or I’ll move you” Jay threatened.

 Dawson looked from Lexi to Jay, assessing his options, deciding if the battle was worth fighting. Shaking his head, Dawson stepped to the side. “Smart choice” Voight remarked watching Lexi and Jay march towards the interrogation room.

 Lexi didn’t slow down or break her stride, she walked through the door, saw Owen sat at the table through the observation glass and continued walking in to the main room. She pulled back her fist, used her fast pace as momentum and threw all her might in to Owen’s face. The sound of bone breaking filled the otherwise silent room and blood poured from his face immediately splashing the table and his legs, she had rebroken his healing nose.

 The force of her punch jolted her ribs, the fury inside her pushed the pain down and she ignored it, not giving Owen time to recover, she grabbed a handful of his shaggy hair and threw his head forward, smashing it on the table in front of him. He went limp, his arms dangling at the side of his body.

 Lexi straightened herself up, she felt for a pulse on his neck, found one. She took a few deep breaths then turned and walked out of the room. “He needs a medic” she told her waiting team.


	6. "If I Ever Lose You"

**_One Year later._ **

Gabby, Matt, Lexi and Kelly walked in to Molly’s together. “Next time the girls pick the movie” Gabby announced walking to the bar.

 “I second that motion” Lexi agreed standing beside her at the bar. Matt gave their drinks order to Herrmann.

 “It wasn’t that bad” Matt told them laughing as Lexi surveyed the bar looking for Shay.  

 “Please the acting was awful, it was just an excuse to put half naked women on screen” Gabby concluded taking her drink from Herrmann and handing Lexi hers.

 Kelly shrugged laughing “I liked it.” Lexi rolled her eyes at her fiancé before walking to the table Shay occupied with Ruzek, Halstead, Burgess and Cruz.

 Everyone exchanged greetings. “How was the movie?” Ruzek asked.

 Gabby began to rant about how awful the movie was, half naked women who couldn’t act to give overcompensating men something to ogle at. Lexi agreed with all her points and a sexist debate erupted.

 “So, you never went to see Magic Mike?” Cruz asked looking from Gabby and Lexi.

 “That’s different” Gabby began protesting.

 Lexi eyed Jay across the table as he took his phone from his pocket and frowned at the screen. He excused himself from the debate and answered the call as he walked towards the toilets, seeking a quiet place to take the call. Lexi watched him, his lips were moving but his eyes were a million miles away, she could tell he wasn’t seeing the people in the bar, he wasn’t seeing anything in front of him. He was off in some distant land, a memory of a time before now.

 Lexi excused herself from the table and walked to Jay. She stood in front of him as he finished his phone call and put his phone in his pocket. She touched his arm and he jumped at the contact, it bought him back to reality.

 Jay eyes focused on her and he didn’t need to speak she pulled him in to her embracing him. “Michael Nash is dead” He spoke in to her shoulder “he took his own life.” Lexi recognised the name, he was Jay’s ranger friend. They had served together.

 

* * *

 

A few days later Lexi leant on the bonnet of Jay’s car outside of his apartment building. Her packed overnight bag sat at her feet. She had been there twenty minutes when Jay emerged from his building carrying his own overnight bag looking like he hadn’t slept.

 Jay walked to his car with his head down looking at his phone. He put his phone in his pocket and looked up, stopping two foot from the car when he saw her, he looked at her bag on the floor. “Did you really think I was letting you do this alone?” Lexi asked smiling at him.

 Jay shook his head smiling “Voight?” he asked questioning how she had got the time off work. He picked her bag up and walked to the trunk.

  “I had a couple days owed” Lexi told him shrugging it off.

 Jay closed the trunk and looked over the car at her “Kelly?”

 Lexi walked to the passenger door and looked over the car at Jay as he walked to the driver’s door. “He’ll get over it.” Lexi told him getting in to the car.

* * *

 

 Jay and Lexi sat at the bar where Michael Nash’s wake was taking place. Michael’s funeral had been a good send off, the wake had been a celebration of his life rather than a mourning. His ranger buddies had all told stories and his brother had given a lovely speech.

 Lexi watched Michael’s widow, Sarah, as people approached her and kissed her, hugged her or shook her hand as they left for the night. Sarah couldn’t take anymore, and Lexi watched as she sat in a chair and completely broke down.

 “Jay, you see that woman there” Lexi told him pointing discreetly at Sarah. Jay followed her line of sight and nodded. Lexi turned in her seat, so she was facing him her knee pressed in to the side of his leg. “That’s me if I ever lose you. You know that right?” she asked tears filling her eyes. “I know the things you did, the things you saw as a ranger still haunt you, but I need you to know that I’m here for you, day or night. Because if something happened to you, or you did what Michael did, I’d be that woman over there. It doesn’t matter if there’s a ring on my finger, it doesn’t matter how many fights I have to have with Kelly or anyone else for that matter, it doesn’t matter what’s going on in my life, there is always and will always be a space for you, no matter what. I need to know that you know that”

 Jay nodded, and half smiled at her “I do”. Lexi kissed his cheek lightly and wiped her fallen tears. “Come on let’s get out of here”

* * *

 

 Lexi had booked a motel on the way to the funeral but the nearest one to where they needed to be only had one double room left. They were already running late and needed somewhere to change in to clothes they were wearing to the funeral so had no choice but to book it. They had flipped a coin for who would sleep on the couch.

 Lexi began clearing the clothes and bags from the couch ready to turn it in to her bed whilst Jay took a shower. She placed her toothbrush on top of her folded pyjamas on the end of the couch ready to take in to the bathroom when Jay was finished.

 Lexi’s phone chimed alerting her to a message. She sat on the edge of the bed and read the message, some marketing junk message.

 She began typing a message to Kelly, apologising for springing her decision to go with Jay on him, apologising for the fight they had had, but then changed her mind and deleted the whole message. Why should she apologise for being there for her friend? If Lexi had been doing the same for Gabby, Kelly wouldn’t have had the same reaction.

 Lexi put her phone back on the night stand as she heard the bathroom door unlock and open. Jay walked out, wearing a pair of black sweat pants, his hair still wet. She could see he had been crying, his eyes were bloodshot.

 Jay avoided looking at her as he climbed on to the bed, he sat with his back on the wall and switched on the TV.  He surfed the few channels that were available and then settled on an old black and white movie.

 Lexi swung her legs up on to the bed and shuffled herself back, so she was sat beside him. As soon as she stopped moving Jay shuffled down the bed and lay his head in her lap, she gently stroked her nails up and down behind his ear. “Thank you for being here” Jay told her after a moment of silence.

 “Anytime” Lexi told him softly “you’d do the same for me”

 “Yeah but I don’t have a fiancé to take shit from for it” Lexi didn’t respond, he felt her sigh and put her head back resting it on the wall behind her. “I don’t want to come between you and Kelly”

 “No one’s coming between me and Kelly expect Kelly.” Lexi assured him.

 Jay sat up copying her pose beside her. He leant his head on the wall and turned his head to look at her. “I’m serious. I don’t want to be the reason he’s giving you shit”

 Lexi turned her head and looked at him. “Like I said earlier I can take whatever it is I need to take as long as it means I’m there for you when you need me, that you’re okay”

 Jay put his hand on her cheek and pulled her face to his, he kissed her forehead and then rested his head against hers. He didn’t know how he would have coped today if she hadn’t had been with him. Every time it all got a bit much she was there, even without him asking her too, she was holding his hand, or putting her hand on his shoulder, touching him in some way to let him know she was right there.

 Jay sighed and closed his eyes. He moved his head slightly and brushed his lips against hers. “Jay” she whispered his name as she put her hand over his on her cheek. He felt the cold metal of her engagement ring against his skin and pulled back from her opening his eyes.

 “I’m sorry” Jay said quickly getting off the bed “Fuck, Lexi I’m so sorry”

 Lexi put her hand to her lips “it’s okay, don’t worry about it” she said getting off the bed, collecting her toothbrush and pyjamas as she walked to the bathroom and closed the door.

* * *

 

Lexi stood over the sink brushing her teeth. How the hell could she let that happen? She knew the second Jay put his hand on her face that it would lead to that. It wasn’t exactly a kiss, their lips had brushed together, it wasn’t a kiss, but Lexi had wanted it to be a kiss. Lexi had wanted to kiss him. Not only because she knew it was what he wanted, that it would make him feel better but for her too.

 Lexi spat the toothpaste from her mouth and watched the water rinse it down the drain. She chalked the almost kiss up to the emotional day and decided it meant nothing.

 Lexi left the bathroom to find the TV switched off, a small lamp by the bed lit and Jay lying in the bed, his back to the bathroom door, clearly pretending to sleep. She didn’t want him to feel guilty, he didn’t need to, especially not today. “Jay” Lexi said putting her toothbrush back in to her bag. “Jay” she repeated when he didn’t respond.

 Lexi climbed in to the bed and lay on her side facing Jay. He opened his eyes when he felt her move the bed sheets. He rolled on to his back and stared at the ceiling. Lexi lifted his arm and placed it under her, she moved over and lay her head on his chest. “Get the light” she told him.

 Jay reached over switching off the lamp before kissing her hair in the darkened room.

* * *

 

  ** _Two years later._**

Lexi sat at her desk in the Intelligence Department of the Chicago PD. Writing up a report for the latest drug bust her and her partner had just pulled off. It was a good little win for the district, anytime a supplier and his drugs were taken off the street it was a win. Today was a good day, yet she had this little niggling feeling, almost like a voice in the back of her head telling her that something wasn’t quite right. A paperclip shot past her eye breaking her concentration, “you throw like a girl Halstead”

 Jay laughed and dodged the return fire of the paperclip, “what was the dealer’s cousins name again?”

 Lexi shook her head “Yet you call yourself a Detective! It was Shane.”

 Hank Voight exited his office as Trudy Platt ascended the stairs, Lexi noted both their sombre expressions, Platt made eye contact with her and that niggling voice in her head began screaming like an alarm bell. Voight approached her desk and softly asked “Lexi, can I talk with you in my office?”

 “No” Lexi stood up from her chair “don’t treat me like a victim, just tell me which one?” she knew it was bad. Their facial expressions couldn’t mean anything else, either her twin sister or her Fiancé had been hurt or fatally wounded, she just knew it.

 “Lexi” Platt began walking towards her, arms out stretched to comfort her “please sit down, you know how this goes”

 Jay appeared beside her, she hadn’t even noticed him stand up. Jay took her arm and helped lower Lexi in to her chair. “It’s Leslie isn’t it; I can feel it!” Lexi looked from Platt to Voight waiting for an answer. Hearing someone ascend the stairs at a brisk pace Lexi got her answer as she watched Kelly race towards her.


	7. Broken Promises

**_Two weeks later._ **

Today had been a tough day for Lexi, she was too busy playing the elegant host and making sure everyone else was okay to be coping with her own emotions. The funeral had been beautiful, and the wake was just what Shay would have wanted. Everyone swapping stories and recounting funny moments they had shared with Leslie, playing her favourite music, drinking her favourite tequila.

Jay had watched his partner walk to each of the tables of Molly’s to ensure everyone had a drink and then approach Kelly, who was standing with a few other firefighters from House 51. Lexi touched his arm as she approached him from behind, speaking as she did. However, Kelly pulled away like she had burnt him or something, he had barely turned his head to look at her when he replied to her question.

It hurt Jay to watch the pain flash across her face at the rejection but soon the elegant host expression reappeared as she walked through the crowd to the back of Molly’s. Kelly’s behaviour towards Lexi made Jay furious, but he understood Kelly was grieving too, Shay had been Kelly’s best friend, but still Lexi was his fiancé. Jay couldn’t imagine the pain Lexi was feeling, she had lost her twin sister and she deserved better than what Kelly was doing to her.

Jay followed Lexi through the kitchen of Molly’s and out the back door, she stood with her back to the door breathing in the frigid night air. “Hey” Jay said and shrugged off his suit jacket and placed it on her shoulders.

“Hey Jay,” she gave him a sad smile as she pulled his jacket a little tighter around her shoulders.

Crossing her arms over her body she hugged the jacket to herself, Jay knew that had been what she had wanted from Kelly, for him to hold her and he had rejected her. Jay stepped in front of her and pulled her to him. Embracing her he spoke in to her hair as she rested her head on his chest, “I know it’s a dumb question to ask if you’re okay, but I’m going to ask it anyway, are you okay?” She didn’t answer him, but he felt the wet tears soak through his shirt on to his chest.

* * *

 

Lexi followed Kelly in to their apartment, neither one had spoken on the journey home from Shay’s wake, Kelly held the door for Lexi, she stopped two foot in to the apartment and looked around. Kelly closed the door then walked around her and went directly to the kitchen.

For a split second, Lexi wanted to call out and tell Shay they were home, like she always did when she and Kelly arrived home after a date. Then she remembered, and it hit her like a sledgehammer to the chest. Lexi’s legs gave out from beneath her, she fell to the floor in a heap, leaning against the door, the sobs rocked her body. She didn’t recognise the sound that came from her mouth and couldn’t see beyond the blurry tears gushing from her eyes.

She felt Kelly’s arms around her, pulling her in to his chest, he sobbed with her and rocked back and forth. Lexi couldn’t recall how long they sat that way, she just remembered feeling the cold air as he unwrapped himself from her and walked in to the lounge.

Lexi removed her shoes then forced herself to stand up, following Kelly to the other room, she wanted to curl up on the couch with him. He was standing in front of the sofa staring through the coffee table. “I can’t do this” he proclaimed, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this”

Lexi was confused, she didn’t understand his words, did he mean he couldn’t be in the apartment? “Can’t do what baby?”

“Be with you, I can’t look at you” Kelly’s gaze never moved from the coffee table, “every time I do, I see her and…” his voice broke, choking on a sob but held it in, he sat on the couch behind him. Inhaling sharply, holding his voice steady Kelly explained, “I need you to leave, I don’t know how to do this, if I’m seeing her when I look at you!”

“Kelly, I don’t…” Lexi took a step towards the couch she wanted to sit beside him, touch him, tell him it was all going to be okay.

His yell of “DON’T!” stopped her in her tracks.

“Kelly you don’t mean that” Lexi was frozen to the spot the anger in his voice freezing her mid step. “We’re both hurting, we need each other”

“I don’t need you” Kelly spat at her through gritted teeth. He had reached the anger phase of the grieving process, “We’re over, I hooked up with someone, I spent the night with her!”

Lexi let his words rush through her mind, he didn’t mean it, he was just saying it to get a reaction out of her, to get her to leave. Kelly hadn’t come home the previous evening, Lexi had guessed he had crashed at Casey’s or something, she didn’t believe he had cheated. “Kelly you don’t…” She began to protest but Kelly abruptly stood up, untucked his shirt from his pants, turned slightly so Lexi could see the fresh red scratch marks all over his back. Scratch marks she hadn’t given him.

“Lexi just leave” Kelly began crying, exhausted from the day he sat back down on the sofa. He rested his head on the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling with blurry tear-filled eyes. “Please just leave, I don’t want you here”

“I guess now that she’s gone you don’t need to keep your promises to her”. When Kelly and Lexi had started their relationship, Shay had made them both promise to be good to one another and not put Shay in the middle.

Kelly shot his head up to look at Lexi, her words stinging more than he would have liked, “It should have been you” Kelly stood and spoke as he walked towards the door “She was just a paramedic, you’re a cop, you get shot at all the time. It should have been you”

Lexi couldn’t respond, she didn’t know how to, she felt like she had forgotten how to form words. She heard the front door slam shut.  

* * *

 

Jay sat on his couch drinking a beer, he hadn’t been back long from Shay’s wake, he had taken off his jacket, unbuttoned his shirt but not taken it off, undone his black suit pants, got a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch absentmindedly watching a football game. He didn’t know who was playing, his mind was elsewhere, he was thinking about Lexi.

He remembered standing outside Molly’s holding her in his arms, whilst she cried the tears, she felt she couldn’t cry in front of anyone else. He had stood with her and allowed her to cry. He looked down at the mascara mark she had left on his shirt, the buzzer for his apartment pulled him from his daydream.

Figuring it was for someone else in the building, he walked to the door with his beer in hand. Pressing the buzzer, “Halstead” he answered

“Jay, its Lexi can I come up?”

“Sure” he replied simultaneously pressing the button to allow her access in to his building. He unlocked his apartment door and stood in the doorway waiting for her to climb the stairs. He took a drink from the beer listening to her approach, it sounded like she was taking two steps at a time. She reached the top of the stairs and turned to face him, as soon as she saw him waiting for her silent tears fell from her eyes. Jay noticed she hadn’t changed out of the dress she had worn for the wake.

Lexi stopped two foot from his door, composed herself before she spoke, “I’m sorry its late, I’m sorry to barge in on you,” she peered over his shoulder in to his apartment, only now realising he may not have been alone.

“It’s fine, don’t sweat it,” Jay noticed her gaze in to his apartment, “I’m alone” he assured her.

Lexi half smiled looking down at her feet as she closed the distance between them, “Is the cabin offer still available?”

“Of course, anytime” a few days after Shay’s passing, Jay had offered his Grandfathers cabin to Lexi as a getaway, for as long as she needed with or without Kelly, if she ever needed a break from it all. Jay stepped aside from the door allowing her to enter. “You want a beer?”

Lexi went in to the kitchen and helped herself to a beer from the fridge. After taking a long pull on the beer Lexi came up for air, Jay leant on the doorframe to the kitchen watching her, folding his arms over his chest, his half empty beer resting in the crook of his folded arm.

Lexi caught her breath, wiping some spilled beer from her chin, “I don’t want to talk about it” she insisted. 

Jay raised his arms as if she had pointed a gun at him earning a small smirk from her. “I didn’t ask although I’m pretty sure I don’t need to” Jay took a swig of his beer lowering his arms.

Lexi knew Jay didn’t approve of Severide, he had been on the receiving end of many rants from her about Kelly’s behaviour, mainly for flirting with other women, blowing her off at the last minute for a boy’s night or recounting play by play an argument Kelly had started about her relationship with Jay. “Can I have the keys?”

“You want to go right now?” He asked looking at the clock behind her, “it’s 2am!”

Lexi sighed deeply and turned away from him, putting her beer bottle on the surface, she gripped the edges, her knuckles turning white; “I just need to get out of here, please Jay” she told the floor, if she looked at him, she would cry, and she needed to show him she was okay. 

Jay’s heart broke at the pleading sound to her voice. “You’ve been drinking too” he spoke softly as he crossed the distance between them and leant against the surface beside her. 

“I’m fine” she stood up straight and brushed her hair off her face but made no attempt to wipe the tears away, she knew her tears were safe around him.

“I’m not letting you drive like this, it’s bad enough you drove here”

“Please Jay I’m fine, I feel fine”

“I promise you I will drive you there myself first thing in the morning” he put his hand on her cheek and used his thumb to wipe a falling tear, she closed her eyes at his touch and nuzzled slightly in to his hand. Without opening her eyes, Lexi stepped closer to him, allowing him to guide her so that she was stood directly in front of him, his long legs spread either side of her. She felt his breath blow a few stray strands of hair as he spoke softly “We’ll call Voight on the way tell him you need some time”

Lexi opened her eyes, looking up at him she crushed a tear between her lips and nodded ever so slightly, she could feel the heat radiating from him through his open shirt, he still hadn’t moved his hand from her cheek. Raising her hands and placing them on his stomach, Jay held his breath without meaning too, he closed his eyes savouring the feel of her cold hands on his skin, she whispered, “Thank you”. Jay opened his eyes and let out a long breath, looking directly in to her sad, blue eyes “Thank you for everything, I don’t know what I would have done without you over the last couple of weeks”.

Lexi was suddenly very aware of how close they were, her hands on his stomach, his hand on her cheek, she didn’t want to move, it felt nice to be close to him. She looked down at her hands on his flesh, taking a deep breath she was about to take a step back, she felt his hand under her chin guiding her head up to look at him. As soon as their eyes met Jay lowered his head and claimed her lips with his own.

Jay’s senses exploded, her tongue tasted like beer and salty tears, her lips were soft and supple, her perfume was sweet and fruity, her nails dug in to his stomach slightly, he heard her breathing become faster as she inhaled and exhaled through her nose.

Lexi pushed his shirt down his arms, and he pulled it off at the cuffs without breaking their kiss.

He slinked his arm around her waist, placing his hand on the small of her back he pulled her into him, she wrapped her arm around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair, tugging it slightly, she used her other hand to run her manicured nails down his torso to the waistband of his pants, pushing his already unfastened pants down to the floor, he growled in to her neck leaving small wet kisses as he unzipped her dress and pushed it off her shoulders.

The second her hands moved from his body to let her dress fall, she stepped back from him.

Neither moved to retrieve their discarded clothes, Jay stood staring at her no shirt on, pants half way down his legs, Lexi gazed back at him, her black dress pooled around her ankles, standing exposed in her bra and lace panties, “I’m sorry, shit, Lexi I’m so sorry”

“Don’t be, it’s fine, I kissed you back” Lexi confessed, _I don’t want you to be sorry –_ she thought but didn’t say it aloud. She realised she wasn’t sorry, she had no reason to be sorry, she was a free agent now. Lexi wanted to kiss Jay, wanted to kiss him and more.

“I never should have…”

Lexi knelt and pulled her dress back on interrupting him “Please stop apologising” Lexi turned and walked backwards to him motioning for him to zip her dress. As soon as her dress was fastened, she walked out the kitchen and turned left towards the front door

“WAIT!” Jay called after her, pulling up his pants as he followed her out. “Please don’t leave. Stay here tonight” she turned to look at him, her hand on the door handle and cocked an eyebrow at him “You can have the spare room. I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself”

“And your lips” she smirked

He chuckled, and the smile lit up his eyes “and my lips, scout’s honour” he did the scouts honour hand gesture still smiling “I promised I’d take you to the cabin in the morning and I keep my promises”

Lexi remembered her words to Kelly about promises. Realising she had nowhere else to go, staying at Jay’s was her only option, unless she checked in to a hotel. Lexi took her hand off the door handle and walked back towards the kitchen, “Get me another beer then”.


	8. Escaping The City

The next morning, Jay had kept his promise and drove Lexi to his Grandfather’s cabin. Jay had taken her home first to pack a few things, she had waited in the car and asked Jay to knock on the door to ensure Kelly wasn’t home before going in. Jay didn’t question her; she would tell him in her own time, but he knew it was must have been bad. Lexi had called Voight and told him she needed some time off and where she would be if he were to need her. Hank had been very understanding, as Lexi knew he would be and told her to take as much time as she needed. As soon as she finished her call with Hank, Lexi turned off her phone which didn’t go unnoticed by Jay.

The first half of the journey had been in relative silence, Lexi looking out the window and Jay concentrating on the driving. The silence was nice, they had been on many stakeouts together, so they were used to each other’s company, it wasn’t an awkward silence. Although Jay wanted to talk to her, he wanted to know what happened to make her show up at his place? What happened to make her kiss him the way she did? He also wanted to apologise again for kissing her, he wasn’t sorry for the actual kiss, just the circumstances in which it happened.

Jay put on his turn signal to change lanes on the freeway and checked his mirrors one last time before manoeuvring the car to the other lane “I can do some of the driving if you want,” Lexi suggested.

“When do I ever get to drive you around?” Jay asked chancing a quick glance over at her, she hadn’t taken her eyes off the scenery outside the window, which was becoming greener the further they got out of the city. He put his eyes back on the road.

“Kelly cheated,” Lexi announced seemingly out of nowhere. Jay didn’t react, knowing she had more to tell him but the anger boiling inside him made him grip the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white. “The night before last, he didn’t come home. I figured he was at Casey’s or slept in his car after leaving Molly’s too drunk to drive” Jay couldn’t decipher what she was feeling, her voice was emotionless, almost robotic.

When she didn’t offer up any more information, Jay asked, “How do you know?”  

“He told me, showed me the evidence” Lexi inhaled sharply, she refused to cry, Kelly didn’t deserve her tears, she didn’t have enough tears for her sister and Kelly, not right now. “Told me he couldn’t look at me, couldn’t see her each time he looks at me, right before he left, he told me it should have been me”

Jay shot his head around to look at her to see if she were serious, momentarily forgetting about the road, her expression told him she meant every word. Jay returned his gaze back to the road and used his turn signal to pull off the road in to a rest area.

Jay pulled the car in to the first free space he found and killed the engine. He removed his seatbelt and turned in his seat to face Lexi, “You know that’s bullshit right?”

Lexi didn’t move to look at him continuing to gaze out the window watching an elderly couple on a picnic bench eating sandwiches and drinking tea from a flask, “uh huh” Lexi nodded unconvincingly. “I called my Mom before I came to yours last night, told her what had happened, what Kelly said…” Lexi couldn’t hold the tears in anymore, they flowed freely “she said she understood, it made sense that he feels that way”

Jay took her hands in his “Look at me” he demanded. Lexi turned her head but not her body in his direction “That’s complete bullshit, all of it. Kelly’s an ass, he doesn’t deserve you, he never deserved you. It shouldn’t have been you and I’m happy it wasn’t,” Jay sighed knowing that sounded heartless. “I know that sounds awful, but I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you”

Lexi took her hand from Jay’s and wiped her eyes, “thanks Jay”

“I’m serious, you’ve seen me at my worst, and you’ve always been there to help me through whatever was going on and I’m going to do the same for you,” Jay assured her.

Jay gave Lexi some time to compose herself and then they were back on the road in comfortable silence leaving Chicago behind them.

Jay was contemplating everything Lexi had revealed, furious at Kelly for cheating and saying the awful things he had said to her, the woman he was supposed to love. Jay was confused too, had the kiss been all about Lexi getting payback on Kelly? Was it just a comfort thing? He didn’t want to believe Lexi had only kissed him for the human contact.

* * *

Jay yawned at the computer screen in front of him, he was watching surveillance footage looking for the suspect of an armed robbery. It was long and boring, and Jay was tired. He had had a long weekend, he had drove Lexi to his Grandfather’s cabin, spent two nights with her then drove back late last night. He was functioning on about four hours sleep and sipping his third strong coffee, he hadn’t slept well, he had been too busy worrying about Lexi.

His desk phone rang, the display told him it was the desk downstairs. “Halstead” he answered.

“Jay, I have Kelly Severide in Reception” Platt told him, “asking to speak with Lexi.”

“Okay, I’ll be down in a second” Jay confirmed before putting the phone down. Jay didn’t want to talk to Kelly, he had nothing to say to the guy.

Jay walked down the stairs looking through the cage he spotted Kelly standing by the door. Kelly walked over to him as Jay got to the bottom of the stairs, practically standing nose to nose Kelly spoke quickly “I don’t want to talk to you I want to talk to Lexi!” Kelly tried walking around Jay up the stairs “LEXI” he screamed up the stairs. 

Ruzek and Atwater began descending the stairs at the sound of Kelly’s voice, knowing the situation was going to escalate.

Jay pushing Kelly back down the few steps told him “Calm down, she’s not here!”

“Get your hands off me” Kelly swung his fist and connected with Jay’s right eye. Jay didn’t hesitate he retaliated and punched Kelly in the face. A scuffle ensued before Ruzek and Atwater broke it up, Ruzek holding Jay back and Atwater restraining Kelly.

“I just need to see her, I need to talk to her” Kelly stated pulling himself from Atwater’s grasp and standing straight staring down Jay. Kelly had arrived home the day after the funeral and found all her clothes had gone.

“I told you she’s not here” Jay told him straightening up his shirt.

“Then where is she? I went by your place she’s not there”

“She’s out of town for a while, getting her head straight” Jay informed him. “Cheating boyfriends and hearing she should have been the one to die messed her up a little!”

Kelly sprang for Jay again, Atwater and Ruzek’s reflexes caught them both before another fight broke out. “ENOUGH!” Platt shouted standing in between them. “Get out of here before I charge you with assaulting a police officer!” Platt told Kelly pointing towards the door.

“I’ll tell her you stopped by!” Jay called after him as Kelly backed towards the door.

* * *

 

**_End of week one at the cabin._ **

Grief hits us all in different ways, we all cope differently. Or we don’t cope at all. Lexi dealt with grief almost daily as part of her job as a Detective of the Chicago P.D. Intelligence Unit. She had served death notifications, sat with family members whilst they cried, watched them get angry, tried to help them make sense of what had happened in the blink of an eye.

Lexi sat curled up on a chair on the deck of the cabin, with a soft white blanket draped over her, a hot mug of coffee warming her hands as she looked out at the lake a few yards from the cabin.

The silence was broken by the sound of a car engine, it startled her, she hadn’t heard any traffic in the week she had been at the cabin, it was almost an alien sound, in the picturesque surroundings. It was peaceful here, quiet, a break from the city, it was hard to believe she was only a 3-hour drive from Chicago. Here, was a cabin in rural Wisconsin, the cabin belonged to her partner Jay Halstead, he had inherited it from his Grandfather when he had passed a few years previously.

The black Jeep Wrangler came in to view and Lexi smiled knowing who it was.

Jay got out of the car and looked around catching sight of her. “Hey” He smiled sweetly at her.

“Hey yourself” she replied returning his smile as he walked up the three steps on to the deck, Lexi stood and hugged him, taking in his scent. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve got a couple days off, figured I’d bring you some supplies, keep you company” Jay came out of the hug and held her at arm’s length, assessing her. She didn’t look good, she looked tired and weak.

“You didn’t have to do that” she said disengaging herself from his grasp, nervous at how he was looking at her, like he almost knew she hadn’t been taking care of herself. She had spent the week drinking coffee during the day and switching to tequila as soon as the sun set, eating very little and not sleeping much at all. Jay didn’t look that great either, he had a black eye and split lip. 

* * *

Lexi and Jay sat beside each other at the breakfast bar, both drinking a bottle of beer, Jay breaking down the week he had had at work, everything Lexi had missed.

“And the black eye?” Lexi questioned “which charming criminal gave you that?”

Jay looked down at the beer bottle in his hand and began peeling the label, without looking at her he said “Kelly and I crossed paths”

Lexi shook her head and sighed, she got off the bar stool and went to the fridge, if they were going to talk about Kelly Severide, she needed something stronger than beer. “Do I even want to know the details?” Lexi retrieved the bottle of tequila from the back of the fridge and two short glasses from the cabinet.

“Probably not” Jay answered as she returned to her seat beside him. Jay studied her face as she poured them both a shot of tequila. He didn’t want to ask his next question, but he had to know, the detective in him made him curious “Have you heard from Kelly?”

Lexi shook her head, “No, not sure what I’d say if I did” she told him as she pushed his glass over the counter towards him.

“I can think of a thing or two”

Lexi ignored his remark “Gabriela called me to tell me he’d put the apartment up for sale and she had all of Shay’s stuff, said she’d keep it safe until I was ready to sort through it” Lexi took her shot of tequila.

Jay watched her closely, “When was the last time you ate?”

“At lunch”

“Tequila isn’t lunch” he chided her, she was lying to him, he knew it. “Have you been sleeping?”

“Don’t start Jay,” Lexi stood from her stool, not wanting a lecture.

“Oh, I’m going to start” Jay stood, grabbing her arm as she passed him “I didn’t let you come here so you could drink yourself stupid. That is not the way to deal with everything.”

“THEN WHAT IS?” Lexi shouted snatching her arm back “THERE’S NO GOD DAMN INSTRUCTION MANUAL, SO YOU TELL ME HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO DEAL!”

“I’ve been where you are, I’ve lost people too” Jay told her calmly.

Lexi began to cry, Jay embraced her and held her tight, she put her arms around him “I don’t know how to do this Jay, help me.”

“Ssshhh, ssshhh” He soothed her stroking her hair as she cried in to this chest “I’m here, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll help you, whatever it takes”


	9. Trent Lamont

**_End of week two at the cabin._ **

Lexi stood at the kitchen sink cleaning up all the utensils she had used to make herself and Jay dinner. She had been at the cabin for two weeks now, the first week had been a bad time, she didn’t remember much of it, she spent most of it drunk on tequila or fighting a setting in hangover with whiskey laced black coffee.

Jay had helped her when she had finally asked for his support, he gave her the same tips and tricks he had been given at the few PTSD therapy sessions he had actually attended, he had bought her a book about dealing with grief that had been recommend to him, he had found a therapist local to the cabin and set up weekly sessions for her, he called her at least once a day and had been to the cabin and stayed with her every weekend or day off he had from work.

Lexi was feeling better, she was really grieving, not just going through the motions, she was dealing with all her emotions, sadness, hurt, anger, guilt, anxiety, depression, all of them.

The fact she was coping with everything, she owed a lot to Jay, so she had taken the time to cook him a dinner for whenever he was due to arrive. She knew his work schedule so knew when to expect him or he would call her if he were going to be late. Kelly never called to tell her he was going to be late.

Lexi couldn’t help but compare Jay to Kelly. It had been two weeks and she still hadn’t heard from Kelly, although she had made no attempt to call him either.

Lexi had come to get excited in anticipation of Jay’s visits. Nothing else had happened between them, he would hug her when she needed it and he would kiss her cheek whenever he left but nothing more. Every time she thought of him or saw him, she remembered the moment they shared in his kitchen and it made her stomach do a happy little flip.

Lexi was lost in the daydream of her kiss with Jay when his voice rang through the cabin. “Honey, I’m home”. Lexi was still chuckling to herself when he entered the kitchen carrying grocery bags with his overnight bag slung over his shoulder. “Hey beautiful” he said placing the bags on the counter top and crossing the kitchen to kiss her forehead whilst she stirred the pot of spaghetti and meatball sauce she had on the stove.

“Hey handsome” Lexi replied. Jay stuck his finger in the pot of sauce “hey, hey” Lexi moaned as she slapped his hand away.

Jay smiled and licked the sauce from his finger smiling “Delicious”

Lexi laughed at him “Put the groceries away and set the table”

“Yes Ma’am” Jay saluted her and set about his given tasks.

* * *

 

“That was amazing” Jay sat back in his chair and put his hands on his stomach. “Best spaghetti and meatballs I’ve ever had. Thank you”

“It’s the least I can do” Lexi said taking a sip of the red wine Jay had been kind enough to bring with him. “I should be thanking you”

“For what?” Jay was a little confused, he didn’t remember doing anything she needed to thank him for.

“All of this for a start” Lexi told him motioning her arm to include the whole the room to signify the cabin. Lexi stood and picked up her own and Jay’s dirty plates, taking the dirty dishes to the sink “For taking up all your time. You really don’t have to come here every time you get a spare minute”

Jay followed her carrying the wine glasses placing them on the counter next to the sink, he waited for her to look at him then said, “I know I don’t have to, I want to”

“Like you don’t have better things to do on a Friday night”

“Oh, let’s see” Jay leant on the surface beside her as she began to fill the sink with hot soapy water “there was the offer of poker night with Adam and Olinsky, or sit in my apartment, alone, and watch Friends re-runs”

“Those aren’t your only options, Halstead. I’m sure there’s some girl in your phone book you could call up, take out, have a nice meal with”

“Isn’t that what I just did?” Jay asked nudging her arm with his own.

Lexi looked up at him and laughed “Touché”

“Just so you know that bottle of wine wasn’t cheap, so you better put out!” Jay smirked as Lexi cupped some water from the sink in her hands and threw it at Jay as he jumped out the way. Jay stood behind her smirking and put his hands on her shoulders, she looked up and could see his face reflected in the window in front of her “In all seriousness, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be” he placed a kiss on top of her head.

Even looking at his slightly distorted reflection in the window Lexi knew and felt he meant it, he didn’t want to be anywhere else other than here with her.

* * *

 

After they had cleaned up dinner, they sat on the couch together. Lexi sat with her legs draped over Jay’s who sat beside her, drinking the last of the wine. “You seem better” Jay observed.

“I feel better” Lexi smiled a little. “The therapy sessions are helping”

Jay nodded “good, I’m glad.” Jay wanted to tell her that Kelly had asked to see her. She deserved to know, but he didn’t want it to make her take a step back, she was recovering, she was getting over Kelly, dealing with Shay’s death, he didn’t want her to go backwards. “I noticed you haven’t been wearing your engagement ring.”

“Yeah, figured it was time.” Lexi admitted, she sighed heavily. “I gave him a million chances and he crossed a line. I can’t forgive him this time”

Jay nodded in agreement. “Makes sense, he betrayed you”

“I think maybe sometimes I stayed with him for Shay. We both promised her we wouldn’t put her in the middle of us, would never make her take sides. We never did, but I think maybe I gave in too much, I backed down too often to make life easier for us all, to keep my promise to her”

“She’d have understood” Jay assured her Lexi half smiled at him, he was right.

* * *

 

A few days later. Jay sat at his desk in the intelligence unit, he picked up his phone and texted Lexi.

**_Jay:_** Hey beautiful, how’s it going?

**_Lexi:_** Good, just got back from a walk. Going to make some lunch. How’s it going there?

**_Jay:_** Slow.

**_Lexi:_** That’s the right pace for you. Lol.

**_Jay:_** Lol. I seem to remember you liked my pace.

**_Lexi:_** Ha-ha. I have no idea what you’re talking about *winky face emoji*

**_Jay:_** I’d be more than happy to refresh your memory.

**_Lexi:_** Lol. Do some police work Detective, I’ll see you Friday?

**_Jay:_** Looking forward to it. *kiss face emoji*

**_Lexi:_** Me too *heart emoji*

“Jay” Adam called in a tone that told Jay it wasn’t the first time he had called his name to get his attention.

“What? What?” Jay asked quickly locking his phone and placing it on the desk.

Adam smirked at him “Who’s got you smiling at your phone?”

“Like you have to ask” Burgess remarked smirking as Jay couldn’t hide his grin.  

* * *

**_End of week four at the cabin._ **

Lexi sat on the end of the dock looking out at the blue water of the lake, her feet dangling over the edge but not quite touching the cold water below. The wind picked up and Lexi inhaled deeply closing her eyes, the chill reminded her of the day she left Chicago four weeks ago.

She still hadn’t spoken with Kelly. She had spoken to her mother a few times, but they were short conversations and Lexi felt she was burdening her whenever they spoke.

Lexi heard the familiar car engine get closer and then turn off. Jay had arrived. He must have spotted her on the dock because she heard his footsteps approaching.

Opening her eyes and looking up she saw Jay staring down at her, he didn’t wear his usual smile. “We got him” Jay told her as he sat beside her. Jay had called her a few days before to say they had reason to believe the fire that had caused Shay’s death had been set deliberately. The CPD were helping Kelly and Gabriela investigate it all. He had kept her updated on everything about the case but didn’t mention Kelly when he spoke to her. “His name was Trent Lamont, he had been stalking her, he set the fires”

Lexi didn’t respond for a minute, ensuring Jay had finished speaking “his name was?” She questioned Jay’s use of a passive term.

“I told you, we got him” Lexi closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Jay watched her closely as she exhaled and opened her eyes looking out at the water, she looked better, healthier, more like her old self. The first few times he had seen her, she hadn’t looked good, he wasn’t sure she had been eating or sleeping well, if at all, but today she looked more like her old self.

“Come on,” she said standing up and dusting herself off “I’ve been marinating some chicken all morning, I need to put it in the oven”

“Please tell me it’s your Thai sweet chilli chicken?” Jay asked jumping up, excited like a kid.

* * *

 

“The team have been asking about you” Jay told Lexi whilst he set the table for dinner. “They want to know when you’re coming back”

Lexi was over the other side of the open plan kitchen making the final preparations to their dinner. Lexi smiled asking, “Are they all okay?” Jay noticed she had purposely avoided answering the question.

“Yeah everyone’s good” Jay crossed the kitchen to the breakfast bar that split the kitchen from the dining area, “Platt asked me to give you this” he picked up the thick blank white envelope that had been sticking out of his bag that sat on the bar stool. Lexi glanced over whilst placing cooked rice from a pan to the plates in front of her, she could see no writing on the envelope and it had never been sealed but she knew what it contained, Jay explained “she figured I knew about it. Were you going to tell me? Or just disappear in the night?”

Lexi put the rice pan on to the counter top and turned to look at him. “Come on that’s not fair”

“Isn’t it? What’s not fair is my partner and my friend applied for a transfer and didn’t bother to tell me”

Lexi crossed her arms and looked out of the window at the night setting in, she couldn’t take the hurt in his eyes “It was never set in stone, I was just looking at all the options.”

“I didn’t know you needed options” Jay confessed walking around the breakfast bar and standing a few feet in front of her.

“What am I supposed to do Jay?” she asked taking her gaze from the window to look him in the eye, “I can’t stay here, and I can’t come back to Chicago, pretend every thing’s okay, pretend nothing reminds me of her, of him?” Lexi saw the flicker of hurt on Jay’s face when she said ‘him’ but chose to ignore it.

“You’ve worked so hard to get where you are now in the CPD, you can’t give that up” Jay was trying to find reasons for her to stay.

“I have no place to live”

“Live with me” he blurted out, the second he said it he realised it made sense. “we’ve lived together before, I have a spare room, I could do with the help”

Lexi laughed punching him in the shoulder, “I am not a live-in maid!”

“I don’t expect you to be. Come on, it makes sense, we can carpool”

“What if you want to bring a girl home?”

“I don’t want too”. Lexi raised her eyebrows at him a sceptical look on her face, she had heard all his stories, all his good one-night stands and all the bad ones. “Don’t look at me like that”. - _I only want you_ \- Jay thought but didn’t say.

“I haven’t made any decisions” Lexi assured him, “can we just drop it for now? Dinner is getting cold.”

Jay sighed, feeling a little defeated “Fine, but this conversation’s not over. We are going to talk about this whether you want to or not.” He didn’t want her to transfer, he didn’t want to lose her, the last 4 weeks had been bad enough without her as his partner, he didn’t want to think about it being a permanent state.

* * *

 

**Author Note: This scene relates to Season 2 Episode 13 of Chicago PD. I have sort of explained the events of the episode but changed a few details.**

* * *

 

Lexi and Jay ate dinner making casual conversation, then Lexi asked what exactly had happened with Trent Lamont.

Jay explained Kelly and Gabby had found the evidence and provided it to the arson investigation team, who after doing all they could decided there wasn’t enough evidence to arrest Lamont, let alone convict him. That’s when Gabby had called Antonio and asked for his help.

“Kelly had confronted Trent outside his office, he all but admitted it but we all know how hard arson is to prove” Jay told her, Lexi listened intently trying to keep her emotions in check. “Gabby and Antonio confronted him at his place of work, embarrassed him, Antonio made some bullshit up of him spitting at him to get cuffs on the guy. We get him in an interrogation room with Voight and he doesn’t blink, he’s just pissed because we were underestimating him. Burgess and Atwater tailed him in uniform, followed him in to a pizza shop. He goes to the bathroom, appears two minutes later, asks them if they are following him”

“This guy has no fear” Lexi agreed.

Jay nodded in agreement. “You haven’t heard the worst of it yet. He approaches me in the car outside, gives me a pizza says it’s for the precinct just as Burgess and Atwater’s squad car goes in flames! We discovered he’d been using two different aliases, and he was responsible for the fire that killed Peter Mill’s dad. We found out his real name and go to his address, there’s pictures of Gabby everywhere, he’s been using some computer software to message her as if she were Brett, luring her to some apartment building. He cornered her in an elevator, poured in gasoline and was ready to drop a lighter, when I…” Jay cleared his throat “so I shot him.”

“Thank you, Jay,” Lexi told him, reaching over and touching his hand. She knew it wasn’t easy to kill someone, anyone, even if it were someone evil. Someone without a soul, it still took a part of your soul to pull a trigger and kill another human being.  “Thank you again for having my back.”


	10. A Change of Routine

Lexi had fallen in to a routine at the cabin, she would wake, take a quick shower, hike 4 miles in the woods then return to the cabin for breakfast.

The next morning Jay joined her on her hike. They walked in silence mostly, just listening to the sound of nature around them, the birds, forest creatures, the wind blowing the trees. They reached a high point, a large boulder stuck out of the ground, Lexi used this as a break spot. She figured it was roughly 2 miles in to the 4 miles she liked to walk.

Lexi took the rucksack off her back and rested it on the boulder, she took out two bottles of water and passed one to Jay. “Thanks” he said taking the bottle.

Lexi put the rucksack on the floor and leant on the boulder, watching Jay drink from his water bottle. He looked like the perfect television advert model, stood a little higher than her, the sun behind him, haloing around him as he tilted his head back to drink from the bottle, his white t-shirt clung to him where he had begun to sweat. Lexi was admiring the view as she drank her own water, her mind went to their kiss again.

Lexi shook her head breaking her daydream. “I don’t know how to be in Chicago without Shay” Lexi explained looking at him. She knew him finding out about her wanting to transfer from someone else was harsh, she should have told him, he deserved better from her. She felt she owed him an explanation. “I’ve only ever been there with her, we moved there together, we lived together, I don’t know Chicago without her”

“It doesn’t mean you have to leave”

“I’m scared Jay, I’m scared I’ll make new memories and they will replace the old ones and I’ll forget her” Lexi admitted, she looked down at her feet a little ashamed, then stood up straight, she shouldn’t be ashamed for any feelings she had, her therapist had told her that. She had to own any feeling she had, even if she couldn’t pinpoint why she felt that way.

“No, you won’t. You won’t ever be able to forget” Jay reassured her “Shay is all over that city, all the good she did, all the people she saved, she’s everywhere and I won’t let you forget.” He approached her and took her in his arms, he kissed her forehead.

Lexi sighed in to him and always got a little shiver down her spine when he kissed her in such a flippant way. It probably meant nothing to him, it was just a friendly gesture to him, Lexi wasn’t sure he knew what an effect he was having on her lately.

She felt a little guilty, she had always felt something for him but never acted on it because they worked together and because of Kelly. But then she thought maybe she only felt that way because he was there for her when she needed him the most, maybe it was the grief making her feel something that wasn’t real?  

Jay pulled out of the hug quicker than Lexi would have liked “Come on, let’s get back, I’m starving”

“You can’t handle it can you?” Lexi asked laughing, he was struggling with the hike.

“Nope” Jay admitted “I’m totally going to pass out if you make me carry on” Jay started walking back the way they had come, Lexi followed laughing at him.

* * *

 

**Later that night.**

“Thanks” Lexi said accepting the mug of coffee Jay offered her before sitting on the couch beside her placing his own mug on the table in front of the couch. Lexi repositioned herself, so her legs were tucked up beneath her and she was facing Jay. “I’m sorry about the whole transfer thing. I should have told you”

“Don’t be, unless you’re going through with it?” Jay turned to look at her, he wanted to gauge her reaction. Lexi shook her head. “Good. Cause I don’t know Chicago without you” he reminded her.

“I know” she told him putting her mug next to his on the coffee table “you can’t get rid of me that easily Halstead” she teased poking his side.

Jay smiled, and Lexi’s stomach did the happy flip thing again “and the living situation? Are you moving in with me?” Jay sounded hopeful.

“No, it’s not a good idea” Jay’s expression told her she needed to elaborate “we work together, then there’s the whole kiss thing, it’s just asking for trouble”

“I like a bit of trouble” He winked at her.

Lexi laughed “exactly my point” she retrieved her coffee and took a sip, enjoying the sweet, hot liquid.

“About that kiss,” Jay began as she put her coffee down “we never did talk about it” Lexi starred at him expectantly, she wasn’t going to offer anything up about the kiss, if he wanted to talk about it, he could start the conversation. “I have to know, why?” he surveyed her face, looking from her eyes to her lips “why did you kiss me?” he felt stupid he couldn’t look at her any longer, he looked away and continued “I know it was a bad day for you, with the funeral and Kelly but is that the only reason?”

They had done more than kiss whilst they were undercover, many years before. Jay always stirred when he thought about it, she had been one of the best he had ever had. They had both agreed that they would keep their relationship platonic when Jay joined the CPD, and until that kiss nothing more had ever happened between them. Jay remembered the feel of her hands on his skin and his mind flashed to the image of her stood in the middle of his kitchen, her dress on the floor, staring back at him.

He recalled the feel of her lips on his and he felt like that kiss had been different, different to all the kisses they had shared whilst they were undercover. Different to all the kisses she had planted on his cheek when he had needed it, different to all the kisses he had put on her head when he hugged her.

Lexi didn’t like the unsure tone of his voice, Jay Halstead was never unsure, he was self-aware, cocky even at times, yet he sounded so vulnerable. “You’re right, it was a tough day. I was a mess, it was all a bit overwhelming, most of it was a blur, but Jay…” she waited for him to look up at her, when he did she made sure to look him straight in the eye to make sure he understood she meant what she said, “I wanted to kiss you”

“Wanted to, meaning you don’t anymore?”

There was that unsure tone again she didn’t like again, Lexi began, “Jay, we…”

“It’s fine” Jay stood up abruptly interrupting her, he didn’t want to hear her reject him. He wasn’t sure he could handle it. “Forget I mentioned it” Jay told her walking out the back door of the cabin.

* * *

 

Jay walked down to the dock watching the moon shimmer in the lake. He leant on the supporting post of the dock that stuck up 8 foot out of the water, his hands in his jean pockets.

What was he doing? He was questioning her about their relationship whilst she was getting over the death of her sister and the breakdown of her previous relationship. He was supposed to be helping her processes everything that had happened not giving her more crap to deal with.

He was struggling to deny his feelings for her. Whilst they were undercover with the E.S.C it was easy to deny his feelings, he was playing a role, she was playing a role too, he could tell himself the things they shared, the memories they had created were fake. They were both pretending to be someone else, the intimate moments were all a consequence of the character’s they were playing.

He couldn’t pinpoint the moment he realised he was in love with her, maybe it happened over time, he just knew he was in love with her.

Jay heard the door to the cabin open and closed his eyes listening to the gravel and dead autumn leaves crunch as Lexi walked over them. She stood on the opposite post facing him, her arms behind her back.

“I’m sorry” Jay told her taking his hands from his pockets and folding his arms over his chest. “I shouldn’t be putting this on you right now, or ever”

“Jay it’s not that I don’t want it, I do. I guess I always have in some way, ever since the E.S.C. but…” she didn’t want to say it was complicated, that was cliché, but it was complicated. “Right now, this is all confusing as hell” Jay turned to look at her, mirroring her pose “I know we’ve never been just friends, I know there’s always been something there, something between us. When we were undercover, I told myself it wasn’t real, I convinced myself I didn’t really know you, that it couldn’t be real because we faked it all. Then I had the excuse of being with Kelly. Then you kissed me, and it bought all those old feelings to the surface, but then what if that’s just the grief talking? What if I give in to us, give you what you want and then it doesn’t work out, I’ll lose you too, I couldn’t deal with that” 

“You won’t ever…”

She held her hand up to stop him from talking “you can’t promise me that, no one can” she took a deep breath and exhaled.

How could she explain it to him in a way he would understand? How could she tell him he made her happy? Even when she was at her lowest, when she saw him, she was happy, she got excited at the thought of seeing him, smiled every time his name flashed up on her caller I.D., she wasn’t ready to lose that.

Jay felt guilty for bringing the whole subject up, he knew now wasn’t the time, she needed space and time to cope with the death of her sister, he didn’t want to put any extra pressure on her, he would let it go for now. Although he was worried when they returned to Chicago she would go back to Kelly, forgive him for everything he had said and done. Then Jay would be on the side-lines again.

Lexi shivered as the wind swept over the lake hitting them on the dock. “Come on, let’s go inside” he held his hand out to her, she took it and they walked back to the cabin together.

* * *

 

After their talk on the dock they had sat on the couch and watched a Hallmark movie, neither one really paying attention but using it as an excuse not to talk. The movie finished and they both decided to go to bed. 

Jay walked through the cabin, locking doors and ensuring windows were closed and secure whilst Lexi went upstairs to use the cabin’s only bathroom first. Lexi brushed her teeth, then changed in to her loose-fitting white t-shirt and shorts pyjama’s. She realised Shay had bought her the pyjama set she wore, she smiled thinking about Shay. Tears filled her eyes as she realised it was the first time she had thought of Shay and smiled rather than cried.

Lexi looked at herself in the mirror above the sink, smiling, happy. She collected her dirty clothes from the floor and threw them in the laundry hamper that stood by the door.

Jay came up the stairs as Lexi left the bathroom, he waited on the top step for her to pass before walking towards the bathroom. “Jay” he turned at the sound of her calling his name.

She stood with her hand on the door handle to her bedroom, looking down at her feet. Jay could tell she was feeling guilty, it was written all over her face. “What’s up?” he asked

“I’m happy when I’m with you” Lexi began still not looking up from her feet. He thought she felt guilty from their earlier conversation but now it was evident she felt guilty for being happy. “I’ve sort of enjoyed my time here, is that wrong?” she didn’t pause long enough for him to answer. “It’s been tough at times, don’t get me wrong but spending time with you…I’m supposed to be mourning my sister but every minute I’ve spent with you I’ve been happy. I didn’t think happy would be something I’d feel for a long while but I’m happy when I’m with you. I don’t want to lose that. I’m scared something will happen and we’ll lose what we have.” Finally, she looked up meeting his eyes waiting for a reaction.

Jay marched towards her and took her face in his hands, kissing her passionately. She kissed him back her arms around his waist. He didn’t care it wasn’t the right time, when was it ever the right time when it came to the two of them? He didn’t care she thought she might only have feelings for him because she was coping with a loss, he knew better, he knew she felt for him the way he felt for her, he would just have to show her.

Lexi felt Jay’s hand travel from her face to the small of her back, putting his hand under the loose-fitting t-shirt she wore, his hand travelled up sending goose bumps down her body, she reached for the hem of his t-shirt, they simultaneously pulled apart and took their own shirts off.

Lexi opened her bedroom door and walked in backwards, to ensure Jay was following her. “Are you sure?” he asked, her lips reclaiming his as they fell on the bed together told him she was sure.

* * *

 

“You got better at that” Lexi joked breathing heavily as Jay lay atop her catching his breath.

Jay laughed as he rolled off her and lay beside her. “Funny I was just going to say the same thing to you”

Lexi laughed, “I need a drink, then round two” she climbed over him, kissing him quickly before hopping off the bed.

“Definitely” he agreed as he watched her find her discarded pyjamas and dress before leaving the room.

The cabin was lit by the moonlight pouring through the curtain-less windows. Lexi went to the kitchen and retrieved the bottle of orange juice from the fridge, she poured herself a glass then stood by the patio doors staring out in to the night.

Lexi heard Jay descend the stairs and shortly after felt his arms wrap around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder he asked, “Any regrets?”

“No” Lexi shook her head “not one” He kissed her neck then took the glass of orange juice from her drinking the remainder.

“What’s playing on that beautiful mind of yours?” he asked taking the glass to the sink.

Lexi sighed heavily, “It’s time to go home.”


	11. Home.

The next morning Jay and Lexi had packed up the cabin and drove back to Chicago. They had gone to Jay’s apartment and emptied their bags. Jay had made some space in his closet for Lexi’s stuff and Lexi had assured him it was a temporary living situation; she would find her own place soon. Lexi didn’t think starting a relationship and living together was a good idea.

Lexi felt seeing the team in a social situation would be easier than just showing up at work on Monday morning. Jay had called Adam and arranged for everyone to meet at Molly’s the same night.

Lexi and Jay walked hand in hand to Molly’s from Jay’s apartment. A block from Molly’s Jay stopped walking and pulled Lexi in to him, putting his arms around her, he kissed her lips lightly “are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, his lips brushed hers as he spoke “we could go home, get in to bed, go for rounds nine and ten” his lips travelled down her neck.

Lexi giggled “I’m sure…” she began gently guiding his head back up to her lips. 

“BUSTED” Lexi and Jay both laughed hearing Ruzek’s call from a few feet away. They had already agreed they weren’t going to keep their relationship a secret from the team, there was no need, they were doing nothing wrong.

Ruzek tackled them, hugging them both at the same time “Yay the teams all back together” he smiled kissing Lexi’s cheek.

“It’s good to see you Adam” Lexi told him escaping from his embrace as he got Jay in a headlock and began dragging him down the street. Lexi laughed watching them before hugging Burgess and Atwater in turn.

* * *

Burgess, Atwater, Ruzek, and Halstead sat at a tall table in Molly’s. Lexi stood beside Jay leaning in to him, his arm around her waist, holding her close to him. Antonio, Hank and Alvin had been at the bar when they arrived. They had had a drink with the team then all had other places to be, leaving the youngest team members to have a catch up.

Lexi felt relaxed, more relaxed than she thought she would, it probably helped that no members of Firehouse 51 were at Molly’s. 

“So, come on, is this a thing now? Is it official?” Adam asked pointing at Jay’s arm around Lexi. “You know it’s a lot of HR paperwork”

Lexi and Jay laughed, “yes, its official” Lexi answered for both of them kissing Jay.

“Oh shit!” Atwater announced nodding towards the door, “heads up!”

Lexi didn’t need to turn around to know it meant Kelly had just walked in. Out the corner of her eye Lexi saw Casey approach the bar followed by Kelly who stood beside him, her whole body tensed, and she knew Jay felt it to. “Are you okay?” Jay whispered, “we can leave if you want to?”

“I’m good,” she whispered back pecking his cheek “you okay?” she thought he might have felt a little awkward.

“Couldn’t be better” he kissed her lips and felt her body relax against him. Lexi noticed Gabby and Herrmann appear behind the bar, they must have entered through the back. Gabby caught Lexi’s eye and smiled, Lexi smiled back, happy to see her. Lexi and Gabby had been friends, their boyfriends had been best friends, they had been on many double dates and sometimes been the only form of entertainment the other had had when having to attend official CFD functions and of course Gabby had been one of Shay’s best friends.

Lexi took her attention back to the friends at the table asking Burgess how she had faired being the only woman in the Intelligence Unit whilst Lexi had been away.

“Lexi” turning at the sound of her name Lexi turned to see Gabriela walking towards her.

“Hey Gabby” Lexi smiled walking a few steps to meet her then embracing her.

“it’s good to see you” Gabby told her pulling out of the hug.

“You too” Lexi genuinely meant it too, she hadn’t realised how much she had missed everyone until she saw them.

“This came here for you” Gabby explained retrieving a brown envelope from her back pocket. “I didn’t know where to send it”

Lexi took the envelope and turned it over seeing the return address was for the lawyer’s that had dealt with Shay’s will. “It’s from Shay’s lawyers” Lexi proclaimed.  

Lexi looked up from the envelope to Gabby for an explanation. “I have no idea” Gabby confessed. Lexi knew everyone was watching her, could feel all eyes burning in to her, waiting to see if she would open the mysterious letter.

Curiosity got the better of her and Lexi tore the letter open, she read the contents then cleared her throat and looked directly at Kelly asking, “you know about this?”

Kelly nodded meeting her eyes for a second before looking away “I got my letter a couple weeks ago” he told her taking a sip from his beer.

 Lexi realised no one else knew what that were talking about “Shay left her share of Molly’s to me and Kelly.”

“It’s about time the CPD were represented here too” Adam joked

“Yeah you spend enough of your money here too” Gabby agreed laughing “come on, we need a drink to celebrate” Gabby took Lexi’s arm and led her to the bar to get them a drink.

* * *

 Jay sat up in his bed watching Lexi remove her make-up through the open bathroom door. “You have fun tonight?”

“Yeah” she called back rubbing her moisturiser in to her cheeks in circular motions “I didn’t realise how much I had missed everyone”

“Everyone?” Jay questioned.

Lexi switched off the light as she exited the bathroom, she leant on the doorframe looking at him. “No. Not everyone.”

“So, seeing him didn’t bother you?”

She wasn’t going to lie to him, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings either. “A little. It wasn’t easy to see him. I thought the first time I saw him, it would be hard, it would hurt…” Lexi crossed the room and climbed in to her side of the bed pulling back the sheets “…but I didn’t really feel anything”

Jay re-positioned himself lying flat in the bed “You don’t feel like you have unfinished business?”

Lexi lay beside him, pulling his arm over her head. “None whatsoever” she assured him kissing his chest over his heart. Lexi began leaving small kisses down his chest.

“No” Jay groaned as her phone began to ring and vibrate on the nightstand “ignore it”

Lexi chuckled at his child like groaning sitting up on her knees in the bed “I can’t, it could be work” she reached for the phone before it vibrated off the nightstand. “Detective Shay” she answered. Jay watched her expression, he couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation, but he could tell she wasn’t happy about the call “yeah, okay, give me half hour” Lexi ended the call and sighed climbing off the bed.

“What’s going on?” Jay asked watching her pull on the jeans she had thrown over the chair when she had got home earlier.

Lexi continued to dress as she explained. “It was Officer Williams. Kelly’s been arrested for drunk and disorderly, if I can go pick him up, they won’t take him in”

Jay shook his head as he sat up straight in his bed “and your running off to rescue him?”

Lexi sat in the chair her clothes had occupied moments ago as she pulled on her socks “He could lose his job”

“That’s his problem. He’s not your responsibility anymore”

“Tell me what to do here Jay” Lexi pleaded standing from the chair and walking to sit beside him on the bed “you want me to call them back and tell them to take him in, that I’m not coming? If that’s what you want I will”

Jay searched her expression and knew she meant it, if he wanted her to, she would call and tell them she wasn’t coming. Jay sighed shaking his head “no, I know if you don’t go and something happens that you could have prevented you wouldn’t forgive yourself”

“This is why I love you Jay Halstead” Lexi kissed him recognising that was the first time either of them had said the words out loud. She hadn’t meant to say it in this moment it had just slipped out. But it felt right to say it, it felt right to feel it. 

Jay put his hands on either side of her face and moved in to her when she began to pull out of the kiss. “I love you too” Jay told her when they finally parted. 

* * *

Lexi pulled up behind the squad car parked outside the Sports Bar. Kelly was sat on the curb holding an ice pack to his left cheek, Officer Williams and his partner stood behind him.

“Thank you” Lexi told Officer Williams as she exited her car. “I owe you one”

“Don’t thank me” Officer Williams began watching Kelly stand up and walk towards her car “just be thankful the owner and the bouncer didn’t want to press charges” Officer Williams explained.

Lexi got back in to her car and looked over at Kelly. “Save the lecture” he said without looking at her. 

“How about thanks Lexi?” Lexi suggested pulling the car away from the curb “thank you for coming to get me in the middle of the night, thank you for keeping my ass out of jail”. Kelly didn’t respond, he leant his cheek against the cool glass of the window and closed his eyes. Lexi was pissed, she was doing him a favour and he couldn’t even say thank you. Angrily she asked, “Where am I taking you?”

Kelly gave her his new address without looking at her.

* * *

Lexi hit the break too hard as she pulled to a stop at the curb making Kelly brace himself against the dashboard. Kelly looked at her with a ‘are you serious’ expression. “Ah shit there goes my five-star rating” Lexi quipped looking out of the windscreen.

Kelly got out of the car and Lexi watched him stumble a few steps, fumbling in his pockets for his keys. Fishing out his keys he then proceeded to drop them on the floor. Kelly bent down to pick up his keys and Lexi watched him stagger but catch himself before he fell over. Lexi shook her head getting out of the car to assist him.

“God damn it Kelly” She said completely annoyed with him picking up the keys and walking towards the door. Lexi chose a key from Kelly’s set and tried it in the lock to no avail, she would open the door for him then he could fend for himself.   

Kelly managed to walk to the front door without further incident. “You look good” Kelly told her as he watched her search his keys for the correct one, “you seem good”

Lexi stopped searching and stood up straight to face him. “I won’t apologise for actually coping with my shit”

“That’s not what I meant” Kelly told her shaking his head. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for everything, everything I did and everything I put you through”

The front door having been forgotten about they stood face to face in the small porch, a foot of space between them.

“You’re sorry? Funny, my phone never rang!”

  
“Would you have answered if I called?” She forgot how well Kelly actually knew her. “I wanted to call, I did. I figured it was a conversation we should have face to face”

“Yeah well too little too late” Lexi went back to the task of finding the correct key.

“I lost myself” Kelly admitted, he touched her arm to get her attention, he wanted her to look at him. Lexi sighed and gave up trying to find the key looking up at him. “I can’t tell you the amount of times you stopped me from going out of my mind. But I lost myself for a while. Shay’s death should have bought us closer together not tore us apart, I see that now”

“SHAY DYING DIDN’T TEAR US APART, YOU DID KELLY!” Lexi shouted. Her anger got the better of her, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. He didn’t deserve her treading lightly; he didn’t deserve her trying to save his feelings from being hurt. Lexi inhaled and exhaled composing herself. “What do you want from me Kelly? You want my forgiveness? I don’t forgive you, I can’t.”

“I want a chance. A chance to make it right” Kelly begged, “Please”

Lexi shook her head “it’s too late”

“Because of you and Jay? You didn’t waste any time, did you?”

Lexi slapped him hard across his face, her hand stung from the blow. “DON’T YOU DARE!” Kelly shook his face and blinked back the tears that had sprung to his eyes from her smack. “I was faithful to you, despite what you might think” Lexi shoved the keys in to his chest and waited for him to take them before walking away.

“Did he tell you I asked to see you?” Kelly spoke to her back as he followed her fast stride to the car. Ignoring his words, Lexi opened the car door, Kelly slammed the door shut again. Lexi stood with her back to him, she wasn’t going to let him see her crying over him. “I asked him where you were, I wanted to see you, to talk to you.”

“Kelly please just leave me alone” Lexi sobbed in to her hands.

Kelly turned her around to face him, he pulled her hands from her face to look in to her eyes. “I hate that I make you cry, I hate that I hurt you. I made a mistake please let me make it right”

Lexi wiped her eyes “There’s nothing you can do to put it right”

“I don’t believe that”

“I don’t care what you believe Kelly! I can’t do this; I won’t put myself in a position where you can hurt me again”

“Please, this can’t be it” Kelly told her “I love you, this can’t be the end.”

“it is” Lexi opened the car door and Kelly pushed it closed again.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and gazed deep in to her eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me! Right here, right now, tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll walk away”

Lexi shook her head and looked away from him, down at her feet, she couldn’t take his soul-searching stare. She didn’t love him anymore, she couldn’t love him anymore, not after everything he had put her through. Pushing her away when she needed him most, cheating on her, how could she ever love someone who would do that? Only she did, she did love him. Being angry with him for being unfaithful and for not reaching out to her made it easier to tell herself she didn’t love him anymore, she was over him, but she was wrong.

“Kelly, I…” Lexi began to protest but her sentence was cut short, his mouth was on hers, his tongue teasing her lips apart. Lexi hesitated, his touch and his kiss were so familiar, she kissed him back for a millisecond before she pushed him off. Kelly stumbled back a few steps. “I can’t do this” Lexi got in to her car and drove away.


	12. Confessions

Jay had fallen to sleep when Lexi left to rescue Kelly. He woke up feeling happy, she had told him she loved him. He woke and checked the clock, it was 4am, Lexi had been gone three hours. She shouldn’t have been gone this long. The bar was only 30 minutes away, it was an hour and half round trip, at most. Jay picked up his phone from the nightstand and pushed Lexi’s name from the recent calls list.

The phone rang, then her voicemail picked up. Jay hung up without leaving a message. He got out of bed and went to the kitchen. He stood leaning against the sink a glass of water in hand, his mind racing, had she been in an accident? Was she talking with Kelly? Had they got in to a fight and both been arrested? A million questions raced through his mind, then he heard her key in the door.

“Hey” he greeted her as she passed the kitchen walking directly in to the living room. She didn’t respond to him, she threw her keys on the coffee table and took off her jacket throwing it over the nearest chair. Jay could tell she had been crying, her eyes were puffy and red, “What happened?”

“Did Kelly ask you where I was?” Guilt took over Jay’s features giving Lexi her answer. She ran her hands over her face laughing without humour. 

“Let me explain” Jay began taking a step towards her. Lexi took a step back; she didn’t want him to touch her right now she was angry.

“Go ahead”

“I was going to tell you, I was. But then I saw you, you weren’t good, you weren’t coping. I didn’t want you to talk to him and him to add to the misery.”

Lexi exploded “THAT WASN’T YOUR DECISION TO MAKE!”

“YES, IT WAS!” Jay yelled. They both stood staring down the other, neither one willing to back down. “Lexi, you didn’t see yourself. After that first week at the cabin you were a mess, you didn’t even look like you, you looked like a ghost of you!” Jay sat on the arm of the chair nearest to him as his anger subsided. “It scared me to see you that way. I didn’t think talking to him would help you. Then I saw you again and you were doing better, you looked better and I didn’t tell you in case it made you take a step back”

Lexi calmed down and sat on the sofa. She understood his intent, he hadn’t done it to be malicious or hurt her, or to even hurt Kelly, he was thinking about her, he had done what he thought was best for her. “You should have told me; you should have let me make the decision”

“And if you had spoken to him?” Jay queried “What about us? Would this be happening right now? Would we be together?”

“I guess we’ll never know” Lexi sighed standing up “I’m tired, I’m going to bed.”

Jay followed her, he sat on the edge of the bed and watched her undress, throwing her clothes over the chair in the corner of the room. “What happened with Kelly?”

She focused on pulling off her jeans and socks rather than looking at him. “It doesn’t matter”

“Don’t do that” Jay warned “don’t treat me like some second-rate hook-up. What happened?”

“He kissed me okay?” she threw her clothes down with force, why did he have to push, why did he have to know? She stood up straight and looked him in the eyes. “Told me he loves me, wants a second chance and he kissed me, happy now?”

Jay shook his head and chewed his bottom lip, he didn’t want to know the answer to his next question, but he had to ask. “Did you kiss him back?”

Lexi sighed and sat on the chair, on top of her discarded clothes in her underwear. “Yes” she admitted. It didn’t matter that she had pushed Kelly away, she had kissed him, it didn’t matter how long the kiss had lasted, she knew in her heart she had wanted to kiss him, and Jay deserved the truth. 

They sat in the silence for what felt like forever. Lexi couldn’t tell what Jay was thinking, couldn’t decide what he was feeling. She knew she had hurt him, and she hated herself for it.

Jay swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “Do you still love him?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was over it, then I saw him and…” Lexi’s words trailed off knowing she was hurting him the more she spoke. “I know I love you” that she was sure of, there was no question.  Lexi walked to him and knelt in front of him, she put her hands on his legs and straightened her back, so their faces were level. “Jay, I’m in love with you” Lexi moved to kiss him, and Jay pulled away out of her reach. “I’m sorry, I…” Lexi stood up, she knew Jay needed his space right now. “I’ll sleep in the other room”

* * *

Jay woke a few hours later, exhausted. He couldn’t hear Lexi moving around the apartment so figured she was still sleeping. He needed to clear his head, he dressed in to his running gear and quietly left the apartment.

The crisp autumn morning air hit his face as soon as he left the safety of the apartment building. He began a light jog down the street. Last night’s events played over in his mind. Hadn’t he done exactly what Lexi had told him she was afraid of? She had told him she was afraid something would happen, and she would lose him. He couldn’t expect her to be over Kelly in just a few weeks and he couldn’t expect Kelly to give up without a fight. But what did he want? What did Jay want? Could he deal with Lexi being in love with him and still having feelings for Kelly? Was it enough that Lexi was in love with him?

He hadn’t run two blocks before he decided that yes it was enough. He didn’t care about Kelly, he finally had Lexi, she was finally his, it’s what he had wanted from the day he met her. He wasn’t ready to give that up.

Jay changed direction and ran back to the apartment.

“Lexi” he called entering the apartment, he opened the spare bedroom door to find the bed unoccupied and remade. He went to his bedroom to find her suitcase on the bed, half packed with her clothes. She looked up at him as he entered the room but continued to organise her suitcase. Jay didn’t miss a step, he walked to her and took her face in his hands before kissing her. She reciprocated the kiss, a little breathless when they broke apart, still holding her face in his hands he told her, “I love you. We can deal with the rest, all that matters is that I love you”

Lexi smiled at him “I love you too” she kissed him lightly and pulled her face from his hands. “But I’m moving out”

Jay snatched the clothes from her hands and threw them across the bed “that can wait, we’re going out!” he kissed her quickly “as soon as I’m changed” he walked to his closet and started undressing.

* * *

“Remember this place?” Jay asked pulling off the main road on to the gravel surface.

Lexi smiled, of course she remembered this place “Lovers Look-out” She remembered the name grinning at him. Jay had taken her here for their last night together whilst they were undercover. “It feels like a lifetime ago” Lexi said getting out of the car and walking to the edge.

Jay stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, looking out at the ocean. “I spent that whole night trying to think of ways to delay that meet, so I’d get to spend more time with you” Jay confessed.

Lexi laughed and turned her head to kiss him. “I spent the whole night trying to stop myself from bursting in to tears at the thought of never seeing you again”

“I got so much shit for breaking my cover”

“Me too”

“Totally worth it” Jay said kissing her cheek.

They spent the day reminiscing, they drove by the old house they had lived in whilst undercover, they ate lunch at a little café they used to go to. They sat at a small table in the back of the café eating burger and fries. Lexi’s phone rang a few times, the caller I.D. revealing it to be Kelly, after the seventh ignored call she turned off her phone.

“So, Halstead” Lexi began popping a fry in to her mouth. “Am I the only person you’ve ever taken to Lover’s Look Out?” she looked at him sceptically waving a fry around accusingly in front of his face.

Jay snatched the fry from her hand and ate it quickly. “Of course you are, it’s our spot.” he told her avoiding eye contact and eating another fry.

Lexi laughed and threw a fry at him. “oh my god, I’m not!”

Jay chuckled attempting to catch the fry but failing. “I’ve drove past it; we didn’t stop” 

“Who with?” she enquired smirking at him.

Jay grimaced knowing she wasn’t going to like his answer “Jenny”

“The nurse Will set you up with?” he nodded “urgh, I hated her”

“I know” Jay told her laughing as he put the straw from his drink to his lips.

“I was nothing but nice to her!”

“Please, you’ve never been subtle”

“She wasn’t right for you. She had no sense of humour”

“You were jealous”

“I totally was” Lexi laughed “I admit it. You never did tell me what happened between you two”

“After that night in Molly’s she decided I wasn’t right for her. She said I was hung up on someone else”

“Really?” Lex smirked “whatever gave her that impression” Jay laughed and leant across the table and kissed her.  

**Flashback –**

Lexi sat across the table from Jay and his date in Molly’s. Well she supposed she was more than his date, she was his girlfriend, he had been seeing Jenny for a couple of months. Will had set them up, as she was a nurse at Chicago Med.

Jay had briefly introduced Jenny to Lexi and Kelly a few nights before in Molly’s before he took her to dinner. Kelly had insisted they all go on a double date; however, Kelly was now running late as he was stuck on a job, leaving Lexi to be the third wheel.

“Kelly’s stuck on a call” Lexi explained to them putting her phone on the table “he’ll get here as soon as he can”

“Being a firefighter is such an important job” Jenny smiled sweetly at her “you must be really proud”

Lexi grinned “I am, he’s really good at what he does. Just like Jay is a brilliant cop”

“Detective” Jenny corrected

“He’s an okay Detective” Lexi remarked laughing looking at Jay.

Jay threw a peanut at Lexi laughing “An okay Detective?”

“Yeah I mean nine times out of ten I have to remind him where the bathrooms are, remind him to bring his gun, give him directions” Lexi smirked chuckling looking at Jenny. “I pretty much pick up his dead weight from day to day, I carry his ass, mostly he’s just the muscle”

Jay burst out laughing as did Lexi. “He’s a smart guy” Jenny said completely seriously “I don’t believe that for a second”

“She’s joking babe” Jay told Jenny kissing her cheek. Jenny turned her head and kissed his lips lightly.

_Urgh! Babe, really?_ – Lexi looked away from Jay, she didn’t like seeing him kissing someone. “I’m going to get another round” Lexi announced sliding out of the booth. “Hey Gabby, can I get another round?” Lexi asked approaching the bar.

“What are you doing?” Shay asked standing beside Lexi at the bar. “I can tell your flirting with Jay from across the room and I can’t even hear what you’re saying”

“What are you talking about?” Lexi asked looking over her shoulder at the booth to see Jay and Jenny still kissing. “I am not flirting”

“Oh no and that look on your face isn’t pure jealousy” Shay queried as Gabby served up the drinks.

Lexi picked up the tray with the drinks on and went to walk back to the booth “I am not jealous”

“Could have fooled me” Shay said watching her sister walk away.

“So, Jay tells me you met whilst you were undercover?” Jenny asked when Lexi returned to the table and gave each of them their drinks.

“We were _ deep_ under cover” Lexi said suggestively, which seemed to pass over Jenny’s head but received a smirk from Jay.

“Deep, deep cover” Jay agreed.

“Is it not scary being undercover?” Jenny questioned “I mean you’re living with criminals, anything could happen”

“It had its scary moments, but it also had _a lot_ of fun moments” Lexi smirked again looking at Jay.

Jay grinned a boyish grin and licked his lips looking at Lexi. “Fun was definitely had, multiple times”

Lexi couldn’t help but laugh, she had to take a sip of her drink to stop the burst of laughter that threatened to erupt.

“Am I missing something here?” Jenny asked looking from Jay to Lexi.

**End of flashback.**

* * *

“Damn its cold” Jay said jumping out of the car after he had put it in park outside his apartment building. He rubbed his hands together and blew in to them trying to warm up.

“Thank you for today.” Lexi told him as he joined her on the sidewalk. “I had a wonderful time it was just what I needed”

He slinked his arms around her waist and kissed her neck, his lips brushing her neck as he spoke, “anything to see that smile on your face”

“Mm, is that so?” Lexi questioned snaking her arms around his neck.

“Uh huh” he nodded “absolutely anything.”

“What did I do to deserve you Jay Halstead?”

"Oh, you totally hit the jackpot” He agreed smirking standing up straight looking in to her eyes. “Tall, handsome, funny, amazing in bed…”

“Don’t forgot modest” Lexi interjected. 

 “I was getting there before you rudely interrupted” Jay laughed “but the best thing about me?” he paused for dramatic effect a devious smile hanging on his lips. “Freezing cold hands” with that he put both his hands up the back of her coat and shirt and pressed them to her skin.

She shrieked, his hands really were freezing, she tiptoed to get out of his grasp, but he held her against him, laughing as she tried to squirm her way out of his arms. “I swear you’re a dead man” Lexi cried laughing. Jay let her go and immediately ran towards the building as she gave chase.

* * *

Kelly sat in the car across the street, watching their interaction. The way she smiled at him, the way she laughed, you could see the love she had for him.

Kelly didn’t know whether to be angry, the woman he loved was clearly in love with someone else, she was happy with someone, angry that all the times he had accused Lexi of having feelings for Jay she had obviously lied to him when she denied it. Or should he feel happy, happy that Lexi had found someone else, found someone she was content with. Lexi deserved to be happy, Kelly couldn’t deny that, and he knew the last few weeks he had done everything but make her happy.

He thought about going to talk to her, as he had an intended, but decided he should leave her be, for now.

* * *

“Chicago PD freeze sucker” Lexi shouted chasing Jay up the stairs to his apartment.

Jay ran taking two steps at a time, he made it in to the apartment and in to living room before a breathless Lexi appeared behind him. He stood on the balls of his feet, swaying from side to side as if he were ready to take off running again.

“I have you surrounded” Lexi told him, slowly taking off her jacket. “You have nowhere to run”

Jay stood up straight and took off his jacket. “I surrender officer” he held up his hands the playful smile on his lips made Lexi bite her bottom lip in anticipation of what she knew was about to happen. “I’m unarmed” he confirmed.

“Show me” Lexi told him motioning for him to lift his shirt. Jay did as instructed pulling his t-shirt up to reveal the waist band of his jeans, then let it drop back in to place. “All the way up” Lexi demanded walking closer to him.  

Jay pulled his shirt off over his head and stood staring at Lexi who stood a few feet from him. “Do you have any weapons on you?” Lexi grinned and couldn’t help the laugh that welled up and burst from her lips.

“Oh, I’m going to show you a weapon” Jay said taking one long stride towards her and lifting her from the floor by her hips, she wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him as he sat on the sofa, her sitting astride him.


	13. Volatile Mix

The next evening Jay and Lexi walked hand in hand to Molly’s. It was Adam’s birthday; he had decided to have a few drinks at Molly’s then move on to a club in town to celebrate.

“That wasn’t as bad as I thought” Jay admitted. Lexi had asked him to go with her to a group grief counselling session. She had promised they could sit in the back, it being both their first times doing such a thing, to make it a little easier. Jay had agreed immediately but Lexi had confessed she thought it would help Jay deal with some of his PTSD as well.

Lexi had been having weekly therapy sessions whilst she had been at the cabin and it had helped her, she knew it could help Jay too.

“Told you so” Lexi said “it’s kind of nice to know I’m not the only one totally screwed in the head”

“You are not screwed in the head”

“I’m dating you, aren’t I?” Lexi quipped 

Jay raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Dating, really?”

“Well what else would you call it?”

“We’ve already established you hit the jackpot with me, right?”

“That’s right, I forgot, tall, handsome, funny, and amazing in bed, was it?”

Jay nodded stopping and standing in front of her putting his arms around her neck. “Correct.” He smiled “So, are you sure you just want to be dating all of that?”

Lexi kissed him lightly on the lips “you know, you’re right.” Lexi chuckled before asking in a high-pitched preppy school girl tone “Jay Halstead, will you be my boyfriend?”

“Oh man, I don’t know” Jay said moving to walk beside her putting his arm around her neck. “Can I think about it”

Lexi used her elbow and nudged it in to his ribs laughing. “Jackass”

Jay laughed too. “Nothing would make me happier” he said kissing the side of her head as they continued to walk. “You know we don’t have to do this” Jay said as Molly’s came in to view down the street. “I’m sure Adam would understand”

“We’ve got as much right to be in there as anyone else” Lexi said knowing Jay understood she was referring to Kelly.

“Are we just asking for trouble?” he queried. “Alcohol, ex-fiancé’s and new boyfriends make for a volatile mix”

“Don’t worry Halstead, I’ll protect you” Lexi smirked putting her arm around his waist, her hand in the back pocket of his jeans as they continued to walk.

* * *

Molly’s was busy. Adam, Kevin, Kim, Jay and Lexi were at a table in the back. They had been there for a couple of hours, Adam had insisted they do shots of tequila before they hit the road and went to a club in town.

"Come on, drink up” Adam commanded Jay “we’re moving on!”

Jay laughed and chugged the rest of his beer. Jay put on his coat before walking through the crowd towards the door a few steps behind everyone else.

Jay looked up seeing Kelly coming towards him and knew from his expression it wasn’t going to end well. Kelly barged past him, purposely knocking his shoulder in to him. “Watch where you’re going” Kelly spat at him. 

Jay ignored it, he wasn’t going to give Kelly the reaction he wanted. He wasn’t worth it. Jay laughed shaking his head as he turned and looked at him. “Sure thing buddy. Have a good night now, I know I will” Jay smirked knowing the remark would piss him off. Jay left through the front door to find everyone waiting for him. He put his arm around Lexi’s neck and kissed her.

“Hey asshole!” Kelly was striding towards them followed by Casey and Cruz.

“Severide stop” Casey pleaded.

Jay took is arm from around Lexi ready to protect himself as Lexi stepped in front of him, standing between him and Kelly. “Go back inside Kelly” Lexi demanded.  

Ruzek and Atwater started towards Jay ready to have his back, he held up his hands to tell them to hang back, he was okay. “Walk away” Jay told Kelly exasperated.

“Severide, don’t do this” Casey said. “Let’s go back inside”

“You and me, right now, once and all” Kelly offered starring down Jay.

“Grow up Kelly” Jay suggested.

 Lexi took a step forward pushing Kelly back. “I’m not letting you do this Kelly”

“Why are you protecting him?” Kelly asked her, “WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PROTECT HIM? HE KILLED OUR KID!” he yelled in her face.

Jay saw red, he launched at Kelly, knocking Lexi out of the way he punched Kelly in the face.

Lexi couldn’t see what was happening, it was just a blur of fists as they exchanged blows. “STOP IT!” Lexi screamed at them before Casey and Atwater managed to pull them apart. Both bleeding, Jay from a cut above his left eye, Kelly from his nose, both panting trying to catch their breath.

Lexi walked to Jay and stood in front of him, hands on his face assessing the damage as Casey tried to drag Kelly in to Molly’s. “This isn’t over!” Kelly screamed

“Yes, it is!” Lexi told him, “let it go, Kelly!”

Kelly broke free from Casey’s grasp, and walked towards Lexi. Casey grabbed his arm “I’m good, I’m fine” he told him. Kelly stopped a few feet from Lexi and Jay.

Lexi turned to face Kelly, again putting herself between him and Jay. Jay put his hand on her waist to let her know he was right there. “Kelly just stop” Lexi sighed “enough is enough”

Kelly looking at Lexi said “If you can stand there and tell me with all honesty you don’t love me anymore, I’ll walk away” 

Jay had had enough, he wasn’t going to let Kelly get in her head, mess her up again. “Dude you blew it” Jay began “it’s time to accept she’s moved on.” 

Kelly shook his head in denial, he didn’t acknowledge Jay, he never took his eyes from Lexi, “I know you love him. Anyone can see that; I saw it last night”

“What are you stalking us now?” Jay growled “Unbelievable”

Kelly raised his voice “we have history; it doesn’t just disappear overnight!”

“You managed to make it disappear for a night!” Jay sniggered

Kelly watched the hurt flash across Lexi’s features at the mention of his cheating “we’re done here” Lexi told him, turning and taking Jay’s hand before walking away down the street.

Kelly calling after her as Casey ushered him back in to Molly’s. “Lex please I just want to talk”

* * *

Lexi crouched in front of Jay who sat on the sofa in his apartment. After the fight they had decided to call it a night and go home. Jay couldn’t exactly go to a club with fresh blood on his face and shirt. Adam had been disappointed but understood.

Lexi had got the first aid kit from Jay’s kitchen and used an antiseptic wipe to clean the dried blood from his eye. “I’m sorry” she told him as he winced at the sting of the wipe she was using.

“It’s okay just stings a little” he said.

“I’m not sorry for that” she explained “I’m sorry for all of this. You wouldn’t be bleeding if it wasn’t for me”

“You didn’t punch me” Jay noted “by the way your protection sucks”

Lexi chuckled. “Technically, you threw the first punch”

Jay shrugged “he deserved it”

Lexi nodded, it was true Kelly had deserved it. “Take off your shirt” she instructed “It’s got blood on it”

Jay shuffled forward on the sofa and took off his shirt. “Maybe you should go talk to Kelly.” he suggested, Lexi checked his expression he was serious, she shook her head whilst she continued to clean the blood from his face. “Just get it all out in the open. Once and for all. Maybe it will stop some of the madness”

“No, it’s not a good idea. I don’t have anything to say to him” Lexi said gathering the used medical supplies.

“That’s not true” Jay said holding her hands still and making her look at him. “if not for you, for me. I don’t actually like getting punched in the face”

Lexi laughed and stood to take the dirty supplies to the kitchen.

 “I did tell you going to Molly’s was a bad idea” Jay said following her carrying his dirty shirt. He watched her pack up the first aid kit, he leant on the door frame “Maybe we should stay away for a while”

“Maybe you should stay away from me for a while” Lexi suggested.

“You know I couldn’t stay away from you even if I wanted to”

“I’m serious” Lexi told him turning to face him “maybe we should cool it for a while. I’ll be back at work in a few days, we’ll be partners again”

Jay walked to the fridge and took out a beer, popping off the top and handing it to Lexi he asked, “Is that what you want?” he raised his eyebrows at her suggestively “to lose all of this” he motioned up and down his naked torso. He watched her eyes travel up and down and chew her bottom lip a little.

Lexi laughed at him “Oh, it’d be tough, but I’d get over it” she jested. He threw his dirty shirt at her, it hit her face and she laughed pulling it away.

He walked to her and took the beer from her hand taking a drink. She kissed his shoulder. “I can handle a punch in the face” he kissed her lips “if I get to do that” he kissed the left side of her neck “and that” he kissed the right side of her neck “and that.”

“Mmm” Lexi smiled “anything else?”

“Nope, that’s it” Jay teased standing up straight and going to the freezer. He took out a bag of peas and held them to the side of his face, he could feel his eye beginning the swell.

Lexi was smirking at him from the teasing. “You’re not as irresistible as you’d like to think Mr. Halstead.”

“The look in your eyes tell me different” he grinned.

“I’ve resisted you before” Lexi pointed out “for like six years”

“With one or two slip ups”

Lexi shrugged “More like near misses” Lexi walked slowly towards him, keeping eye contact with him “now I don’t have to resist you anymore.” She put her hand on his chest and walked him backward until he hit the fridge behind him. She ran a finger down his chest and to the waist band of his jeans. She began to undo his belt as she left small kisses on his chest.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He fished it out, “damn it” he groaned reading the message he had received, “hold that thought” he said as Lexi’s kisses reached his stomach. “The guys are downstairs” he told her “town was a bust.” Lexi groaned too, Jay’s irresistible-ness would have to wait.

* * *

A few days later Lexi sat on Jay’s couch pulling on her boots and zipping them up. Jay came from the bedroom, hair wet, a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Eager to get to work” Jay joked “we’ve still got a few hours before shift”

Lexi exhaled “I’m taking your advice. I’m going to see Kelly.” Lexi stood and picked her car keys up from the coffee table in front of her looking at Jay. A flicker of sadness clouded his features as he walked across the room towards the kitchen. “I don’t have to” Lexi told him following him. “If you don’t think it’s a good idea anymore”

Jay took a carton of orange juice from the fridge and took a swig straight from the carton “No, you should talk to him but are you sure it’s such a good idea to do it today? Your first day back on the job?”

“I figure its best to do it now, so we don’t bump in to each other at a scene or something” Jay nodded, it made sense. They didn’t need Kelly kicking off at a crime scene or something. Jay took another drink from the carton. “You’re worried something will happen” Lexi noted walking to him and putting her arms around his waist

“Just remember, I loved you first” Jay instructed “All those years ago, even if you wouldn’t let me say it” Jay smirked kissing her.

Lexi smiled and returned his kiss remembering the times they were undercover, and he had tried to tell her he loved her, but she stopped him or asked him not to say it. Lexi undid his towel and stepped back to look at him. “Just to refresh my memory”

Jay laughed “I can give you a demonstration if you like.”

Lexi threw the towel back at him “see you at the district.” She called walking out of the kitchen.


	14. Final Goodbyes

Lexi stepped out of the elevator inhaled through her nose and exhaled slowly out of her mouth. She took a left, walked past 3 doors before taking a right. Kelly’s apartment was at the end of the corridor, she turned the corner to see a half-naked Kelly in a lip lock with a petite blonde, wearing a deep pink, sparkly cocktail dress.

Lexi stopped in her tracks, hot white anger coursed through her. She balled her fists at her side, she wanted to rip the blonde’s hair from her head, she wanted to break every finger of her hands that were resting on Kelly’s abs, she wanted to smash her face in to the wall and break all her teeth.

“Call me” the blonde whispered coming out of the kiss.

Kelly looked up seeing Lexi staring at them. “Yeah sure” he replied not looking at her as she walked away. Lexi stepped to the side putting her back flat to the wall, so the blonde could pass. The blonde looked her up and down as she passed but didn’t make a comment. “Lex, I’m sorry” Kelly pointed to corner the blonde had just disappeared behind. “I didn’t know you were coming”

Lexi walked towards him. “It’s fine. I should have called first”

Kelly took her left hand and turned it over to look at her palm, “it’s fine? Really?” he asked looking at the red imprints in her palm where she had dug her nails in to control her fury.

Lexi snatched her hand back. “I came to talk, so there’s no more fights and no more back and forth”

Kelly stepped back from the door “I guess you had better come in” Lexi walked past him in to his apartment. It was a nice apartment, open plan, spacious. It was strange to see Kelly’s belongings in this alien place. “Coffee?”

“Please” Lexi walked to the breakfast bar and stood at the end looking around the loft. Kelly stood by the coffee machine, arms folded over his chest, watching her. “Can you go put some clothes on?” She asked meeting his gaze, he had on boxer shorts and nothing else.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before”

“Kelly” Lexi warned taking off her jacket and throwing it over a bar stool.

“Fine, fine” he said holding his hands up and starting for the bedroom. “You finish the coffee.”

Lexi obliged and poured them both a cup of coffee. She went to his fridge to get the cream and added a splash to her cup, leaving his black as he liked it, stirring the liquid daydreaming.

“Thanks” Kelly said reaching around her to get his mug brushing her stomach with his hand and arm Lexi stepped back out of his way. Kelly leant on the counter behind him a small smirk on his lips at her pulling away from him, she didn’t trust herself around him, he could tell.

Lexi leant on the breakfast bar behind her, directly opposite Kelly. He hadn’t exactly got dressed, he had put on a pair of sweat pants. Lexi hugging her mug in her hands, made a mental note to keep focus on his face. “So, talk.” Lexi told him “I’m here, it’s what you wanted, so talk.”

“Okay” Kelly put his coffee mug on the counter top beside him. “All the times I asked you about Halstead, if you had feelings for him, you denied it every time, was it all lies?”

Lexi became a little uncomfortable, she didn’t want to discuss Jay with Kelly, it was none of his business. “No” she said but knew it was partly a lie “maybe, I don’t know” She realised it was going to be a long conversation. Lexi put her coffee down and pulled herself up on to the counter top. “Regardless, nothing ever happened between me and him, until after the…” she trailed off she didn’t want to tell him they had kissed on the night of the funeral, but she had already said too much.

“After what? The funeral?” Lexi nodded, yes. Kelly laughed with no humour to his tone “so you literally ran right to him?”

Lexi sniggered at him, he had some nerve. “At least I waited until we were over”

“I’m sorry, I don’t even remember it” Kelly admitted breaking eye contact and looking down at his feet. “I just woke up next to some random…”

“I don’t want the sordid details” Lexi interjected him.

Kelly knew he was losing her, maybe he already had, but if there was any chance he could save them, he wanted to take it. He watched her reach in to her jean pocket, she retrieved the item she was looking for and threw it towards him. He caught it before it hit him in the face and looked down at it, her engagement ring.

“You may as well sell it or save it for the next one”

“For the next one?” Kelly exclaimed “you say that like I can just switch off my feelings for you!”

“You managed to switch them off for a night” Lexi hurled at him. Lexi sighed, she didn’t want to keep going in circles, taking digs at each other. “Look Kelly, I’m not doing this to hurt you”

“Then don’t do it” he crossed the kitchen to stand in front of her, taking her hands in his. She took her hands back and jumped down off the counter, walking around him and back a few steps so they weren’t so close.

“I’m done Kelly; I’ve taken all I can take”

“So, you’re just bailing on us? On me?”

“I’m taking instructions from the Kelly Severide book. As soon as shit gets tough, he bails”

“That’s not fair, I lost my best friend”

“I LOST HER TOO! I LOST MY SISTER” Lexi yelled at him, why was it always about him? Why was it always about Kelly Severide? “You always bail. You did it when we lost the baby, after every fight we had over some stupid shit, you’d disappear with Casey for days, I wouldn’t know where you were.”

“So, what this is my punishment?”

“No” Lexi explained, “this is me telling you I’ve had enough”

“We were engaged, we were getting married, does that suddenly mean nothing to you?”

Lexi sniggered at him, how could he ask her that question? He was the one who cheated, he was the one who broke up with her. “All you see when you look at me is her, right?”

“I didn’t mean that” Kelly approached her again tried to grab her hands, she pushed her hands in his chest, her arms locked keeping him at a distance.

“Yes, you did, you meant every word of it” She told him keeping her arms locked to keep him at arms-length “you know what I see when I look at you? I see some faceless woman touching you, her hands all over you where my hands should have been, some random woman kissing you, undressing you. Those images tortured me for weeks, it was all I saw when I closed my eyes!” Lexi cried, the tears fell, and she couldn’t stop them. She relaxed her arms and Kelly pulled her in to him.

Kelly held her against him, let her cry. This is how it should be, her in his arms. After a few minutes she pulled away from him and went to the sink, splashing cold water on her face. She kept her back to him, composing herself.

“I’m so sorry Lex, I never wanted to hurt you”

“But you did. You broke my heart Kelly, when it was already breaking in to a thousand pieces you took a sledgehammer to the pieces and broke it some more. I blamed myself, I went over it a million times, did I do something wrong? Should I have done something differently?”

“It was nothing you did” Kelly sighed. Silence claimed the room. “You’re only remembering the bad stuff” Kelly told her. “But there was so much good. I remember the first time I realised I was in love with you, I remember the first Christmas I came home with you and Shay, your parents made us sleep in separate rooms. I had to sneak in to you in the middle of the night” Kelly laughed at the memory. “The first time I told you I loved you, I remember it all. I’m still in love with you and I’m not ready to give that up”

“You already did” Lexi told him turning to face him “the second you screwed someone else, you gave that up.”

“I was grieving; I wasn’t in my right mind”

“I get that I do. I wish I didn’t understand it, but I do” Lexi sighed and ran her hands over her face. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about us the last few weeks and I kind of think this was inevitable”

“What?” Kelly asked angrily. How could she think that? They were in love, happy most of the time, they were supposed to get married.

“Hear me out” Lexi began “When we first met, I had just come back from being undercover. I had spent six months pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I wanted something, no I needed something real, something to remind me who I was. As bad as it sounds, I used you in the beginning, I used you for my own selfish reasons, but I never meant to fall in love with you.”

“Are you saying you regret it? You regret us?”

“No, no not one second of it” she assured him. “What I’m saying is we both had our reasons for wanting the other. I think you saw me and Shay as a package deal, and when she was gone, when that wasn’t a possibility anymore, you took the easy way out. You bailed like you always do” Lexi heaved a sigh. “You know who has never bailed on me? Jay, every single time he’s been right where I need him to be, since the day I met him. He’s been my shoulder to cry on, picked me up when I’ve been down, called me out on my shit when I’ve needed it”

“I can be all of that, I will be all of that, you just have to give me a chance!" he told her walking to stand before her.

Lexi raised her voice “I’ve given you chances, more times than I should have.” She stepped around him, not liking the proximity, she went back to her coffee on the breakfast bar and took a drink.

Silence found them again. Kelly stood staring at her back as she stood staring down at her coffee cup.

“Lex” he called, she didn’t turn around. He walked to her and stood behind her his body lightly pressed against her back. Her shirt brushed his skin with every breath she took. “Tell me you don’t love me. I need to hear you say it”

He was stood so close to her Lexi could feel his breath on the back of her neck. Lexi turned taking a step back, backing in to the breakfast bar to try and put some distance between them. “I can’t” she told him looking him in the eye. “It would be so much easier if I could” She began to cry, Kelly used a finger to wipe a tear from her cheek, she closed her eyes at his touch, he caressed her cheek. She took his hand from her cheek but didn’t let it go.

Kelly interlaced their fingers as she opened her eyes to look at him again. They both moved to the other at the same time, Kelly put his hands under her jaw line and Lexi put her hands on his hips, pulling him in to her as their lips met.

The kiss intensified as Kelly’s hands roamed down her body, finding her waist he hoisted her up on to the breakfast bar. He kissed down her neck as he put his hands up her top and found her bra clasp.  

Lexi kissed his collar bone as her nails dug in to his back, she watched her own hands over his shoulder leave red marks on his skin and reality hit her hard. “Stop” she told him before he had unfastened her bra.

Kelly stopped trying to undo her bra and let his hands fall to her waist, still under her shirt touching her skin. He rested his head on her shoulder looking down, catching his breath.

Lexi copied him putting her head on his shoulder. She put her palms flat on his chest, she could feel his heart beat. They stayed that way until their breathing slowed.

Lexi broke the silence. “I need you to stay away from Jay. I need you to stay away from me.” Kelly shot his head up to look her in the eye. The pain in Kelly’s eyes broke her heart, tears sprang to his eyes and he made no attempt to hide them. “If you love me the way you claim you do, you’ll do that for me” Lexi waited for him to reply and got nothing. “We’ll stay away from Molly’s for a while, you won’t have to see us” she used her hands on his chest to push him away from her to give her room to jump down from the counter top. She picked up her coat and straightened up her shirt. His eyes hadn’t left hers, he stood staring at her intensely, she stepped to him and kissed him softly and slowly on the lips, a simple goodbye kiss. “I’m sorry Kelly” she told him before she walked to the apartment door.

* * *

Lexi walked up the stairs of the Intelligence Unit, Jay sat at his desk, looked up and took in the bewildered expression she wore. He stood up as she got to the top of the stairs “What’s wrong?” he asked making the rest of the team look up at her.

“Nothing I’m fine” she told him striding past him without really looking at him, she walked directly in to Voight’s office and closed the door.

Voight looked up from his computer and noted she looked confused, like her mind was racing a million miles an hour and she couldn’t make sense of anything. “I need your help” she told him quickly.

“What do you need?” he asked giving her his full attention.

“I want to see all the files on the Trent Lamont investigation, and I need you to keep Jay busy for the day”

Voight frowned at her Trent Lamont was the man responsible for her sister’s death. The case was closed. “Why?” he questioned “what’s going on?”

“Nothing” Voight’s expression told her he didn’t believe her. “It could be nothing” she corrected herself “I promise I will explain everything as soon as I’ve seen the files”

Voight studied her for a second. “Okay” he agreed, “Platt can pull the files for you, but you don’t leave the district alone and I expect a full explanation tomorrow morning latest”

Lexi nodded “I only need a few hours, then I’ll explain everything. Like I said I hope it’s nothing.”

Voight nodded “I’ll keep Jay out of your way but if you and him being together is going…”

“It won’t be a problem” Lexi interrupted him “I just need to do this, without him looking over my shoulder or worrying about me”

Voight nodded standing and walking around his desk. “Let me know if you need anything else”

“Thank you” Lexi told him following him out of his office, she went in to the adjacent kitchen to make herself a coffee, her step faltered as she saw Jay, stirring his own coffee. Lexi felt guilty immediately remembering kissing Kelly less than an hour ago.

“Hey” he said looking up as she entered.

“Hey” she replied breaking eye contact and working around him to make herself a drink.

“You okay?” he asked watching her take the cream from the fridge and add some to her cup. “What was all that about?” he motioned towards Voight’s office with his mug.

“Nothing”

“Didn’t seem like nothing.” he stated as Lexi walked past him towards the door.

“Jay” Voight said stepping through the door “I need you and Ruzek to go talk to the Lynch family” Voight stepped aside to allow Lexi to exit.

“Sure, thing boss” Jay told him watching Lexi descend the stairs out of view. He knew something was wrong, something was up. He didn’t think it was just her seeing Kelly making her act the way she was, something else was going on and the fact she had gone directly to Voight made it clear it was something serious. “She okay?” Jay asked Voight.

Voight nodded “She’s fine. I’ve got her back today, don’t worry”


	15. Threats

Lexi hadn’t found what she was looking for after reading through the files on the investigation of Trent Lamont, but she knew she was right, her gut was right. She needed more information.

Lexi had given Platt the box back containing all the paperwork, collected what she needed from her car then went back to the Intelligence Unit.

Voight was stood at Atwater’s desk looking over his shoulder at his computer. Burgess and Ruzek were busy typing away, Jay was finishing on the phone and Olinsky was getting coffee.

Burgess was the first to notice Lexi, standing in the middle of the room looking nervous, holding a small brown envelope. “Lexi, you okay?”

Lexi took a deep breath and shook her head, no, nothing was okay. Voight approached her. “What’s going on?” Lexi walked to her desk and sat on the edge, Voight watched her and called for Olinsky to join them on the main floor as Jay put his phone down.

Lexi took out the photograph that had been in the brown envelope, she held it up for everyone to see, it was a picture of Shay and Lexi outside Molly’s a few days before Shay’s death. It was clearly a surveillance photo; they hadn’t been aware it was being taken. “I found this on my windshield a few hours ago”

Voight snatched it from her and read the message on the back aloud. “I lost my freedom and my brother because of you. He took your sister. It was meant for you. We’re not close to being done. See you shortly”

“What the hell” Jay asked standing and taking the photo from Voight and reading it for himself.

“That’s a threat” Voight began going in to Detective mode, “you need to tell us everything. Where was your car parked?”

“It was outside Severide’s apartment”

“How long had it been there?” Olinsky enquired. 

“Forty minutes” Lexi shrugged “an hour tops” 

“You recognise the hand writing?” Ruzek joined the interrogation.

“No, but the phrase ‘see you shortly’, it was always something Calvin Poe would say.” Lexi advised.

Jay looked up from the photo at her “from the E.S.C?” Lexi nodded, Calvin was a part of the crew Lexi and Jay had taken down when they first met. “He’s in prison, we put him away like 6 years ago” Jay reminder her.

Lexi nodded agreeing with him “I made some calls, he was let out for good behaviour three months ago”

“If it was left on your car, that means they’ve been watching you” Burgess concluded “following you”

“Right Atwater get on the phone” Voight commanded “I want you to find an address for Calvin Poe. Burgess, Ruzek, I wanna know every friend he’s ever had, visitors in prison, cells mates, what he had for breakfast everything! Olinsky and I will look in to Trent Lamont, his family, find the connection to Calvin. Jay, she goes nowhere alone!” Voight told him looking him dead in the eye and pointing at Lexi.

Jay nodded “Understood.”

Lexi gave Hank a weak smile, she was grateful for him taking control, putting a plan in motion. Everyone set about their given tasks. “Voight” Lexi began standing and walking to him as he passed her to go to his office “I need the fire reports from 51. There were only partials in the file downstairs”

Voight nodded. “Take Jay be on your guard. Keep me posted”

* * *

Jay drove the car to Firehouse 51, Lexi riding shotgun staring out the window, deep in thought. “If I’m right about this…” Lexi began looking down at her hands in her lap, fidgeting with her fingers. “Shay’s death was my fault”

Jay shook his head “You can't think like that”

“How can I not? I put Calvin away, I broke his jaw!” She remembered the fight they had in the warehouse after the takedown.

“We put him away” Jay emphasised “and I killed his brother.”

“I guess Kelly was right, it should have been me” Lexi determined wiping tears from her face as Jay pulled the car to a stop outside Firehouse 51. Lexi opened the car door and stepped out before the car had come to a complete stop, she didn’t want to hear Jay try to convince her what Kelly had said was wrong.

* * *

Casey and Severide were sat on the roof of Firehouse 51 smoking cigars. Kelly had told Matt about the morning’s activities, his conversation with Lexi, the kiss they had shared, Matt had listened intently then asked, “So what are you going to do?”

Kelly shook his head “I don’t know. I want her to be happy, but I don’t want her to be happy without me. I know she still loves me”

“But she loves Halstead too.” Matt told him blowing out a puff of smoke. “You said it yourself”

“Yeah, she does” Kelly admitted staring out at the passing cars. “So, do I wait around and see how it pans out or do I do everything I can to get her back?”

Matt sighed “I don’t know what to tell you buddy, I can’t make that decision for you.”

Kelly sat forward on his chair, Matt followed his eye line and watched as Lexi and Jay got out of their car. Kelly noted her grave expression and looked at Matt “That doesn’t look good.”

“No, it doesn’t” Matt agreed standing at the same time as Kelly.

By the time they made it down from the roof, Jay and Lexi were sat in the Chief’s office with the door closed.

Boden saw them through the window and waved them in, when Kelly entered opening the door Boden called to Connie. “Connie, can you get Dawson in here too”

“What’s going on?” Kelly asked looking from Jay to Lexi. Kelly noticed Lexi wouldn’t meet his eye, she was making every effort to look elsewhere.

Jay responded “Let’s wait for Dawson”

They waited in tense silence. “Why don’t you all take a seat?” Boden suggested when Dawson entered and closed the door.

Lexi waited for them all to sit down then stood beside Boden ensuring everyone could see her. “I need all of your reports from the fire that killed Shay and any information about Trent Lamont.”

Kelly stood up “What’s going on?”

Lexi inhaled deeply, she held her breath, she was close to tears, she didn’t want to cry. Jay stood to stand beside her, knowing she was struggling to talk he continued for her. “There’s been developments, a threat”

“What kind of a threat” Kelly began to pace in the small space Boden’s office offered “against you?” Kelly asked looking at Lexi.

Lexi still wouldn’t meet his eye, she exhaled. “We don’t know for sure, but we think Lamont was related to someone I put away a long time ago”

“What was the threat?” Matt enquired “a phone call, letter, e-mail?”

“A photo with a note. A photo of me and Shay outside Molly’s a couple days before…” Lexi couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“What did the note say?” Dawson asked.

“It’s not important right now” Jay said glancing at Lexi.

Lexi ignored his glance and answered. “It said it was meant for me” Kelly stopped pacing and his eyes connected with Lexi’s, he watched the tears fill her eyes then he couldn’t take it, he turned and stormed out of the room.

Lexi went after him. Jay turned to Boden “We’re going to need to question Dawson and Severide again and get copies of all the reports”

“Anything you need” Boden confirmed.

* * *

Lexi followed Kelly through the firehouse to his office, he slammed through the door with so much force the whole wall shook and rattled. Kelly pushed the contents of his desk on the floor and picked up his chair ready to smash it through the glass partition window.

Lexi reached him mid-lift and put her hand on his arm to stop him. He lowered the chair slowly and put his hand over Lexi’s before she pulled him in to her. “I’m sorry” She spoke in to his shoulder “I got her killed, I’m the reason she’s dead!” Lexi cried.

Kelly stepped back so he could look at her. “No, no. Lamont is the reason she’s dead no one else” Kelly held her face in his hands, wiping her tears with his thumb.

“That’s not true. I’m the reason. I became a cop, I went undercover, I put myself in the line of fire, they targeted Shay because of me. Shay died because of me, you cheated because of me, Jay had to kill someone because of me!”

“I cheated because I’m a fool” Kelly admitted “Jay killed a criminal because he was threatening someone’s life!”

Lexi took a step back out of his reach, she shook her whole body shaking off her tears. “I wanna see the scene” she told Kelly. “I’ve never seen it; I need to see it”  

Kelly was going to protest but he knew the stern look she wore, there was no changing her mind. “I’ll tell Boden”

Lexi nodded her thanks, she smiled weakly “I’ll be by the car”

* * *

Lexi leant on the passenger door of the car outside of Firehouse 51. She closed her eyes and held her face up to the sun. “You okay?” she heard Jay ask bringing her back down to earth.

“Had better days" she opened her eyes slowly and looked at him.

He held up a file in his hands. "Everything you wanted” he confirmed.

“Great.” Lexi told him. “I asked Kelly to take us to where Shay…to the crime scene. I need to see it”

“Are you sure?” Jay asked standing beside her leaning on the car.

Lexi sighed “No but I need see it. Then I need to swing by thirty second on the way back to the district”  

“What’s on thirty second?”  

“I have a viewing for an apartment”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Jay asked standing in front of her to look in her eyes.

“I told you me living with you is a temporary arrangement”

“Yeah that was before you had a psycho stalker”

“All the more reason for us to put some distance between us” Lexi told him.

Jay put his hands on the car either side of her head. “You are not moving out!” Jay looked at her and made sure she understood he wasn’t letting her move out. “Plus, Voight gave me an order”

Lexi laughed “like you’ve never disobeyed him”

“Well I happen to agree with him on this one” Jay smiled leaning down to kiss her.

Lexi pulled back “hey, we’re on the job!” she smirked.

“I know but I’ve wanted to do that all day” Jay told her kissing her again.

Kelly cleared his throat behind them. “Boden’s given me a couple hours”

Jay stepped back and turned to look at him. “We’ll follow you” Jay told him walking around the car to the driver’s seat.


	16. Old Friends

Kelly walked Lexi and Jay through the wreckage of the building that had taken Shay’s life. He explained where everyone was, the timeline of events and then they stood on the street Kelly explaining to Lexi the evidence he found that made him believe it was arson that lead to Trent Lamont.

“Thank you” Lexi told Kelly looking up at the building. “I know this can’t have been easy for you.”

“It’s a little easier knowing the person responsible has paid for it” Kelly said looking at Jay “I never did thank you for that” Kelly held his hand out.

Jay took his hand and shook it “No thanks needed.”

Lexi looked at their connected hands, it was good to see them getting along but she wished it was under different circumstances. She couldn’t believe this was happening, she was the reason her sister was dead, her job had finally caught up with her.

Lexi bent at the waist, suddenly she felt like she couldn’t breathe, she was gasping for breath. “Lexi” Jay said going to her side and putting his hand on her back “Are you okay?”

“She’s hyperventilating” Kelly told him “sit her down before she passes out” Kelly commanded running to his car and retrieving a paper bag.

Jay guided Lexi to sit on the curb and sat beside her as Kelly returned giving her the bag and sitting on the other side of her. Jay rubbed her back gently in circular motions. “Just breathe, in and out, slow, deep breaths” Jay directed.

Lexi closed her eyes and breathed in to the bag. She was having a panic attack, everything was getting too much to handle, least of all she was sat between her ex-fiancé and her boyfriend who had been in a fist fight day’s before. Her breathing slowed. “How do I tell my parents?” Lexi asked staring in to space, not focusing on anything in particular. “how do I tell them I’m responsible for Shay’s death? All my choices, my job, everything that’s happened is because of me.”

“No” Kelly and Jay said in unison. Then both became silent waiting for the other to speak. 

Lexi shook her head and spoke before either of them could find the words to make her feel better. “There’s nothing either of you can say to change my mind” She told them “Shay was always the smart one, the responsible one. I was a tear away; I was the rebellious one. My parents would always tell me to stop and think before I did anything, think about what Shay would do in any given situation before I did anything. Now I have to tell them that the situation I created killed their daughter”

“Blaming yourself is not going to help anyone” Jay told her.

“As far as your parents know it was an accident, they don’t need to know any different. Not until you’re ready” Kelly said standing up. “I should get back, you got this?” Kelly asked looking at Jay.

Jay nodded “Yeah, thanks Kelly”

* * *

Lexi crept through the house, sweeping her gun around rooms as she entered them, clearing them. It was eerily silent, the dark seemed the pulsate at her, the house illuminated only by the moonlight. She wanted to call out to Jay, needed to know his location. He had chased Calvin Poe in to the house, a single gun-shot had rung out as Lexi crossed the threshold then silence.

If she called out to Jay, she would give away her location to the perpetrator. Lexi cleared the first floor, finishing in the kitchen then she noticed the basement door slightly ajar.

She didn’t want to go down there, every cell in her body told her not. She used her gun to push the door open wider, then walked one foot over the other down the basement steps, keeping her back against the wall.

Four steps from the bottom she saw Jay lying on his side facing away from her. The pursuit and offender forgotten, Lexi holstered her weapon and raced over to Jay. She rolled him over to assess the damage. His body flopped as she rolled him, and she could feel how cold he was through his clothes.

She looked at his face, only then seeing the bullet wound to his head, a clean shot, his lifeless eyes stared up at the ceiling. Lexi screamed and jumped back scrambling for the stairs, she tripped on something else and as she caught herself on the bottom step, she looked down to see Shay lying lifeless beneath her.

* * *

Lexi shot up in bed, breathing heavily, sweat pouring down her chest. Jay was already sat up beside her, he must have been trying to wake her. “It was just a dream, it’s okay, it’s okay” he assured her stroking her sweat soaked hair from her face. Lexi sucked air in and out but it wasn’t working, she felt like she was drowning.

Jay stroked her back and kept reassuring her “it’s okay, you’re okay”

Lexi calmed her breathing and then got out of the bed. She walked through the dark apartment to the kitchen and flicked on the light. She made herself a glass of water as Jay entered and stood watching her. She lifted the glass to her lips, her hand visibly shaking.

“I’m sorry I woke you” Lexi told him walking past him and in to the living room. “You should go back to bed” she spoke as he followed her.

Lexi went to the window of the apartment and pushed back the curtains looking down to the street, she could see the squad car with two officers parked a few feet from the main building door. Lexi felt a little better knowing they were there, knowing help was close by should she need it. She felt Jay watching her, worrying about her.

“Wanna talk about it?” Jay asked walking behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Lexi shook her head “No, it was just a bad dream" Lexi continued to look down at the street.  Lexi took a few deep breaths; she could still see Jay’s lifeless eyes in her mind. She needed to distract herself, think about something else. “You never asked me what happened with Kelly?”

“Figured you’d tell me when you were ready” Jay explained looking over her shoulder and out of the window.

“I gave him the engagement ring back. I told him to stay away from us, from me and that we’d stay away from Molly’s for a while” Lexi moved from his arms and sat on the couch. She ran her hands over her face and through her hair, leaving her hands intertwined behind her head. She felt guilty, she had kissed Kelly not once but twice whilst being with Jay. She was so angry at Kelly for cheating on her when that is what she had done to Jay.

“It that bad?” Jay asked turning from the window and walking to sit beside her.

“I’m sorry Jay, I’m so sorry.” Lexi told him “I swear it was just a kiss, I stopped it before…”

“Stop please” Jay interrupted her explanation as he stood up and stepped around her.

Lexi stayed on the couch, she knew he needed time. Jay was angry, and he had every right to be. Maybe it would be best if he broke up with her, if he had had enough and walked away from her. “I’m sorry” she told him as he walked in to the bedroom.

* * *

Jay woke up in his bed alone, he looked over at the empty space beside him, Lexi must have slept in the other room. He wasn’t ready to talk to her, he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

He let the hot water wash over his face and body and stood in the warm stream of water. He didn’t know which emotion he felt the strongest, anger, hurt, sadness, frustration.  

Maybe it was too soon after her break up with Kelly for them to start their relationship?

Maybe he had been wrong to kiss her at the cabin?

Maybe she needed more time to work out her feelings before she could fully commit to him?

What if she couldn’t commit to him?

What if her feelings for Kelly were too strong and she wanted to be with Kelly?

He had told her that he could deal with everything else, all that mattered was that he loved her, she loved him, but not he wasn’t’ so sure.  

Jay dressed after his shower, all the thoughts lingering in his mind, the apartment was quiet when he left his bedroom. He checked the other bedroom to find it empty, a wave a panic washed over him, she wasn’t supposed to go anywhere alone. He took his phone from his pocket and selected her name from his recent calls list.

Lexi answered after three rings. “Hey”

“Where are you?” he demanded. He didn’t want to get in to their relationship problems on a call, he just needed to know she was okay.

“I got the squad detail to take me to the district.” Lexi explained.

“Okay, I’ll see you there” Jay told her before hanging up.

* * *

Atwater had discovered Calvin hadn’t checked in with his parole officer in the last few weeks, the last address they had for him was false, Calvin had never been there. Voight and Olinsky had found that Calvin’s cell mate, Steven Lewis, was still in prison.

Lexi, Jay and Hank had travelled to the prison to question Steven. Lexi stood leaning on the wall of the interrogation room of the Chicago Corrections Facility, Jay and Voight sat at the table waiting for Steven Lewis to be brought to them. Steven had been Calvin’s cell mate for five of the six years Calvin had been incarcerated.

“Last chance to bail” Voight told Lexi.

“I’m good” Lexi confirmed hearing the buzzer of the door to signify someone was entering.

Steven Lewis was escorted in, as soon as he entered he looked at the three faces staring at him, landing on Lexi his face broadened in to a smile. “Your Lexi”

“Detective Shay” Voight corrected him as Steven sat at the table in the chair opposite them.

“Detective?” Steven questioned looking confused.

“How do you know who she is?” Jay asked leaning across the table to Steven.

“Man, I feel like we’re old friends, I know everything about you thanks to Calvin” Steven began explaining.

Voight sat forward “Why were you shocked when I said she was a Detective?”

“What’s going on? Am I in trouble?”

“You’re not in trouble, we just want to know about Calvin” Jay assured him. “Everything about him, from the beginning, no detail is too small.”

“Okay, he was a bit of a weird dude. When I first met him, I was a little worried, felt like I should sleep with one eye open, you know? But after a while I got use to him.” Steven offered “Maybe six months after he got here, he starts telling me about his girlfriend Lexi, grew up in St Louis, had a twin sister, Leslie. Met when they were working for some guy called Benny. Calvin was smitten, he said they broke up when he got sent away but was always talking about getting out and seeing her, always said they were far from done and he’d see her shortly”

Jay and Voight shared a look making Steven stop talking. Jay asked, “you knew her face when you walked in here, did he have a photo of her?”

Steven nodded “yeah, it was a picture of her, her sister and some Latino woman in a bar”

Lexi took her phone from her pocket and flicked through her photos and found the one she thought he was referring to “this one?” Lexi asked showing Steven the photo of her, Shay and Gabby in Molly’s.

“That’s the one” Steven confirmed

“Molly’s Facebook page” Lexi explained where the photo had come from looking at Voight.

“Did Calvin ever mention a brother?”

“Maybe eight months in to his sentence he had a visitor, he came back to the cell looking like he had seen a ghost. He said some guy he had never seen before shows up and tells him he’s his half-brother, Trent something I think”

“How did Calvin react?”

“He was shocked at first, but after the second time Trent visited, he was over the moon, he said he was going to help him get Lexi back”

Lexi had heard enough, she banged on the door “GUARD” she yelled. The door opened and she raced out, she heard Voight and Jay thanking Steven for his time as the door closed behind her.

Voight and Jay appeared a few seconds later. “He got me back alright!” Lexi told them. “It was a match made in psycho heaven” Lexi paced in the small corridor. “Trent the arsonist realises he has a half-brother, finds he’s been incarcerated by a cop who is related to a paramedic and is engaged to a firefighter. They must have planned the whole thing together”

“Steven made it sounds like Calvin was deluded in to thinking he and Lexi were involved” Jay began trying to make sense of everything he had learned “But I don’t think that’s it, I think he was just planning revenge. He was a weird guy, but he was a smart guy”

Voight nodded “you’re probably right, but we still need to know more.” He walked to Lexi and put his hand on her shoulder. “We’re gonna find this guy” Voight reassured her. “we’re gonna find this guy and he’s gonna pay, for everything”

“Yeah but it won’t bring her back” Lexi sighed and stopped pacing looking at the ceiling, the florescent lights making her close her eyes. “I want a protective detail on my parents” Lexi told Voight “if he knows everything about me, he knows where they are”

Voight nodded “we’ll get on it as soon as we’re back at the district.”


	17. Reunions

A few hours later Hank, Lexi and Jay walked back in to the Intelligence Unit. The rest of the team had been busy whilst they had been at the prison.

The board was set up with pictures of Calvin Poe, Trent Lamont and Leslie Shay with basic information written beside their pictures, dates of birth, dates of death for Shay and Lamont. Lexi eyed the picture of Shay and averted her eyes.

“I want an update on everything right now” Hank announced “we all need to know what’s happening”

“How’d it go with the cell mate?” Olinsky asked from his desk.

“Calvin made Steven believe he and Lexi were a couple” Jay told them leaning on his desk. “Knew a lot about her, her family, where she grew up. Had a picture of her on the wall. Trent visited him whilst he was inside, told him he was his half-brother”

“Yeah that’s true” Olinsky added “I found out Trent’s Dad, Elliott, had an affair with Trent’s baby sitter, Becky Poe. Calvin was the result. I’m trying to find an address for Becky, but I think she moved out of Chicago shortly after Calvin was born”

“Okay, keep on that, that’s good work” Voight praised “What else we got?”

“I’ve been digging in to the picture left on Lexi’s car” Adam began motioning everyone over to his desk, so they could see his computer. “I found this” Adam pressed play on the video when everyone had a view of his screen. “I figured the angle of the photo must have been taken from across the street, so I pulled up all the cameras.” The video showed Trent Lamont leaning over the bonnet of a black SUV using a professional looking camera to take photos of Lexi and Shay as they were entering Molly’s. “You can see Lexi and Shay just at the top of the screen” Adam commentated. Once Lexi and Shay had entered the bar Trent looked directly at the surveillance camera and smirked before getting in to the SUV and driving away.

The video finished, and everyone broke away some sitting at their desks or standing by their desks. “I found footage of the person placing the envelope on your car” Burgess said looking at Lexi. “It was a white kid, about 13 or 14, with a backpack on, I’m assuming he was walking to school. He’s got a coat on, so I can’t see any school logos or anything. I’ve followed the cameras back as far as I can but there’s too many blind spots and he pulled the envelope from his bag, but you never see him put anything in his bag.”

“Okay” Voight said “you and Atwater go back to the area find that kid, see who gave him the envelope, maybe he walks the same route every day”

Burgess and Atwater stood from their desks and began putting their coats on.

Lexi raised her voice above the hum of the team moving about to get the job done “Wait” The Intelligence Unit came to a halt, all looking at Lexi. “I just wanna thank you all for everything. You’ve all worked tirelessly the last few days, you’ve all gone above and beyond, and I can never thank you enough for that.”

“That’s what family does” Burgess smiled at her.

Lexi’s desk phone ringing broke the touching moment. “Okay let’s go to work” Voight dismissed them as Lexi walked to her desk to answer her phone.

“Detective Shay” Lexi answered her phone “What? Okay, put him in a room I’ll be down in a minute” Lexi put the phone back on the receiver and looked at Jay. “Benny Douglas is downstairs, asking to see us”

“Who’s Benny Douglas?” Adam asked

“He’s the other guy we lived with when we were undercover.” Jay explained following Lexi to the stairs.

* * *

Lexi, Jay, Platt, Voight and Adam eyed Benny through the observation glass whilst Benny sat at the table in the adjacent interrogation room. Platt had put him in the room at Lexi’s request. “Did he say what he wanted?” Lexi asked

“He just said he had some information you might need” Platt explained “but said he could only give it to you or Halstead”

The door opened, and they all turned to see Antonio enter “okay, so I spoke to the parole board” Antonio began reading from the notepad he held in his hand “he got out a year ago. He saved a guard’s life during a prison riot, shortly after he found out his mom had cancer, so they gave him parole. He’s been to every appointment with his parole officer, volunteers to talk with other parolee’s, has a steady job at a fast food joint and goes with his mom to every hospital appointment”

“He’s a changed man” Jay said “from a top drug pusher to a momma’s boy”

“Let’s get in there and hear what he has to say” Voight suggested “Lexi, you want in?”

Lexi thought about it for a second, she shook her head “No. I’m good out here”  

“Okay Jay, you take point on this” Voight told him motioning for him to go through the door.

“Jay” Benny’s smile beamed as he watched Jay walk in, Benny stood and held his hand for Jay to shake. 

“Hey Benny. That’s not the greeting I was expecting” Jay told him shaking his offered hand as he and Voight sat on the other side of the table.

Benny nodded “You expect me to blame you for my wrong doings? For putting me away?”

“Something like that”

Benny shook his head “No man. Going away was the best thing that ever happened to me. I found my way, I found God, well God found me” Jay and Voight exchanged a sceptical look. “I know it sounds ridiculous, and corny but its true. Prison really changed me for the better”

“So, we’ve heard” Voight began leaning on the cold metal table. “Perfect parolee, stable job, help your mother”

Benny nodded “Yeah, yeah, that’s me. My mom doesn’t have long left, I want to make sure the time she does have left is filled with happiness and joy” Jay and Voight allowed Benny to talk, the more at ease he felt the easier this would be.

* * *

“You believe this guy?” Ruzek asked Lexi watching the interview unfold.

“He seems genuine.” Lexi explained “Benny was never a bad guy, just did bad things. He never did wrong by me”

“I read the report, he shot Jay” Dawson reminded her

“True. Although he only grazed his leg”

“Besides haven’t we all wanted to shoot Jay at one point or another?” Ruzek joked gaining a laugh from the room.

* * *

“Benny as great as it is to catch up” Jay began “why are you here?”

Benny sighed and lost the smile he had been wearing. His expression became troubled, like he was fighting with an internal voice. “it seems this week is full of reunions” Benny started sighing “Yesterday, Calvin Poe showed up at my front door.”

“What did he want?”

“Told me it was time for us to get our revenge for our lives being ruined.” Benny explained “Revenge on you and Lexi.” He looked at Jay and nodded towards the one-way glass, he couldn’t see Lexi in the other room but must have known she was watching. “He told me your both Detective’s here. That you got promotions after you took us down” Jay nodded his confirmation but didn’t speak. “Hi Lexi” Benny waved at his own reflection. “Hey, do you remember that pool party we had for Lexi’s birthday? During that party he told me he didn’t trust either of you, he got a bad vibe from you both.” Benny started telling the story of the pool party and Calvin’s suspicious behaviour.

* * *

Lexi’s mind flashed to the pool party not because she knew about Benny and Calvin’s conversation but because it had been the first time she had ever kissed Jay.

**Flashback –**

Benny had decided to throw a pool party for Lexi’s birthday. It was her actual birthday, when she went undercover, she was told to keep her story as close to the truth as possible, less chance of being caught in a lie.

Lexi didn’t know anyone at the party, Benny, Calvin and Jay were the only faces she recognised. It was mostly bikini clad woman with a few guys who Lexi assumed Benny had invited from the gym he attended.

Benny had given strict instructions that no one was to enter the main house, the pool house and pool area only. Lexi knew it was because the house belonged to the supplier and there was a lot of money and drugs on site, if any of it went missing Benny would be blamed, he was in charge after all.

Some muscle filled guy had stopped Lexi on the way to get a drink and she was stuck making polite conversation with him.

Jay watched Lexi across the pool, she was talking to a guy who looked like he ate steroids for breakfast washed down with a protein shake and Lexi’s expression told him the protein shake had more personality too.

Lexi was looking around at any one close by to try and find a reason to walk away from this guy, he kept stepping closer to her and Lexi kept edging back. If she went any further, she would end up in the pool. She couldn’t be impolite to this guy, she didn’t know who he was, he could have been a good customer of Benny’s or something, she didn’t want to make waves. But the way he was looking at her and licking his lips made her wish she had more clothes on than a purple bikini top and denim shorts. 

“So how did Benny get so lucky to be living with a girl like you?” muscle guy asked reaching forward to run a finger down her breast bone.

“Hey…” Jay said grabbing muscle guys hand before he made contact, squeezing his fingers together, he warned, “…Don’t touch my girl”

Lexi sighed heavily relieved for the rescue. Jay let go of muscle guy’s hand, but the warning clearly hadn’t registered as he didn’t move. “Come on, let’s go get a drink” Lexi said taking Jay’s hand and leading him in to the empty main house. “Thank you for the save” Lexi told him closing the patio doors on the party, drowning out the noise. “I thought I was gonna have to fake falling in to the pool to escape” she told him pulling herself up on to the kitchen surface by the fridge as Jay took out two beers.

Jay laughed and handed her a bottle of open beer “He probably would have jumped in after you, tried to give you CPR” Jay leant against the fridge beside her.

Lexi shivered at the thought of the muscle guy’s lips on hers. “Urgh, don’t I may throw up.”

Jay chuckled and took a swig of his beer. “So, enjoying your birthday party?”

“Oh, it’s the best party ever!” Lexi joked rolling her eyes “I don’t know anyone here, the female to male ratio is astounding, although I guess that’s a good thing for you” Lexi smirked swigging her beer.

Jay scrunched up his face in disgust “Please, have you seen the women out there? They are all one lip injection from being completely plastic” Lexi almost spat out the sip of beer she had in her mouth at his assessment. “So, come on, tell me what you would be doing if you were at home and not living the high life with me and the boys?”

Lexi chuckled then became a little sad. “I’d be with my sister. We’re really close, we’ve never spent a birthday apart.”

“Maybe Benny will give you some time off and you can go see her” Jay said not liking the sad look in her eyes or the sombre tone to her voice. “Come on” Jay said offering her his hand “Let’s get back to your party”

Lexi took his hand and jumped down from the counter top “I’m not going out there unless muscle brains is occupied”

“Don’t worry about him” Jay told her standing in front of her ready to lead her out of the house “I’ll make sure he knows your off limits”

“Oh yeah, and how are you going to do that?” Lexi asked looking up at him.

Jay leant in, slowly and gently kissed her lips. He pulled back a few centimetres from her and opened his eyes to look at her “I’ve wanted to do that since the day I walked in here” he told her.

“Well do it again” Lexi told him putting her hand around his neck and pulling his face to hers kissing him enthusiastically.

**End of flashback.**

Voight’s fist hitting the metal table bought Lexi back to reality.

* * *

“Enough of the reminiscing” Voight yelled slamming his fist on the table. “Why are you here?”

“I told him I didn’t need revenge, explained everything I just told you guys”

“How’d he take that?” Voight enquired trying to calm down, he hadn’t decided what Benny’s angle was here. Was he warning them? Was he helping Calvin?

“Surprisingly well.”

“Did he tell you anything else?” Jay asked, he needed to know everything Benny knew.

Benny shook his head “No. He said he had a plan, that it was already in motion. He said he’s going to break her first, make her lose everything, then he’ll hurt her. He asked me to do him one last favour” Benny reached in to the inside of his jacket pocket and pulled out a small brown envelope “he told me if I didn’t deliver these, he’d hurt my mom. I believe him”

* * *

Lexi watched Jay take the envelope from Benny and take out two photos. Lexi watched the anger take over Jay’s face.  Jay passed them to Voight, he scanned the photos and turned them over “I’m everywhere” Voight read the words written on the back aloud.

“He told me to tell Lexi there’s no escaping him” Benny repeated the message.

“Benny, thank you” Jay stood up and shook Benny’s hand then marched out of the room. He didn’t slow down or acknowledge his team mates in the other room he continued to walk out in to the corridor.

Lexi started to go after him when Voight stepped in to the room and passed her one of the photos, he held the other in the envelope. Lexi surveyed the photo he offered, it showed her sitting on the breakfast bar in Kelly’s kitchen the day before, Kelly standing in front of Lexi, kissing passionately. The picture had clearly been taken through the window of the adjacent building, but you could still see the desire of the kiss.

Lexi closed her eyes inhaled sharply to hold back the anger and tears that wanted to erupt as Ruzek took the picture from her hand.

“I’m guessing that’s recent?” Voight enquired, Lexi nodded in reply.

“Did Jay know about it?” Ruzek asked, he felt bad for Jay, it wasn’t something he needed to see but he felt bad for Lexi too, she couldn’t catch a break.

“Yeah” Lexi exhaled slowly “I told him about it, but he didn’t need to see it. What’s the other photo?”

Voight shook his head and began walking out of the room, Lexi, Ruzek and Dawson on his heels. “You don’t need to see it” Voight decided.

“Sarge come on” Lexi told him matching his brisk pace.

“It’s Shay” Voight told her not stopping as he walked up to the stairs in to the intelligence office. “When they pulled her out of the building”

Lexi slowed her pace and allowed Voight to walk in to his office, she didn’t want or need to see that photo, she was thankful he had hidden it from her.


	18. Resignation

**Author note:** Will Halstead will be making a few appearances going forward. I don’t watch Chicago Med (I know I should and I will get around to it at some point) so I don’t know if I’m writing Will properly, so apologises if he doesn’t fit with Will’s personality but for the sake of this story let’s just go with it.

* * *

Jay sat at the table in the restaurant sipping a whiskey on the rocks waiting for Will to arrive. Jay was early but was thankful he had had an excuse to leave the office. He couldn’t take sitting at his desk anymore.

The tension in the Intelligence Unit couldn’t have been more palpable. Everyone felt it, everyone knew Lexi had kissed Kelly, they had seen the evidence. Jay felt they were all pitying him or judging him for still being with her, if that’s what he was? Was he still with her? He couldn’t decide.

Jay hadn’t spoken to Lexi, he hadn’t even said goodbye to her when he left to meet Will, he had just announced to the room he was leaving and would see everyone tomorrow. Lexi had been smart enough not to try to speak to him, the office wasn’t the place for relationship dramas.

Nothing she said would make him feel better, plus what could she say that she hadn’t already said? She was sorry, he knew that, and he didn’t want to be angry with her, he understood her history with Kelly made everything complicated.

Voight had made the decision to not put the latest photos on the board, but the image was burned in to Jay’s mind. “Can I get another?” Jay asked holding up his empty glass as the waitress passed his table.

“Sure thing” she smiled taking his empty glass.

“Starting without me?” Will asked approaching the table taking off his jacket and putting it on the back of his chair.

Jay stood and hugged his brother “Hey Will, it’s good to see you”

“Good to see you too Brother” Will embraced him.

They ordered their dinner and Jay told Will about being at the cabin with Lexi, with the exception of the last night they spent together. He hadn’t seen or spoke to Will since he and Lexi had returned from the cabin, a lot had happened.

“So enough of the small talk” Will said after the waitress cleared their empty dinner plates from the table and bought them both a whiskey on the rocks. “What’s going on with you?”

Jay shook his head and took a sip of his glass of water. “How much time do you have?”

“All the time in the world for you baby bro” Will said leaning on the table to show Jay he was there for him, ready to listen.

Jay took a deep breath, where to begin. “Lexi and I finally made it official”

Will couldn’t help but look a little shocked. “Not sure whether to say I’m happy for you or ask you if you’ve lost your mind?”

Jay sat back in his chair and picked imaginary dirt from the table cloth. “Maybe a little”

“Jay man” Will began shaking his head at his brother “she just lost her sister and broke up with her fiancé”

“I’m aware” Jay snapped a little too sharply.  

“Are you?” Will asked a little amazed at his Jay’s behaviour. He knew how Jay felt about Lexi, but his timing was completely off.

“Would you like to see the dessert menu?” The waitress asked approaching the table. They both smiled at her and took the menus, thankful for the interruption.

“I mean I’m happy for you” Will told Jay watching him pretend to read his menu “I know it’s what you’ve wanted since you met her, but I have to say you don’t seem happy”

“I was happy” Jay told him throwing the menu on to the table “I mean I am happy. I’m totally in love with her but it’s all just so messed up. She’s had a couple run ins with Severide. Some guy we arrested years ago is threatening her, he’s behind Shay’s death. Which of course means Lexi’s blaming herself”

“Run in’s?” Will knew Jay’s choice of mentioning Kelly before the threatening was his way of trying to avoid any questions about it.

“They were nothing” Jay shrugged it off “just a kiss”

“Do you believe that?”

“I did, until I saw the pictures” Jay said knocking back his whiskey shot.

“Pictures?”

“Long story” Jay explained without explanation

“So that’s what’s bothering you?” Will concluded “her kissing Severide?”

Jay nodded “I guess”

“Why? It’s not like you’ve never seen them kiss before”  

Jay hadn’t thought of it that way, he had seen them kiss before, multiple times, Kelly would make a point of kissing her in front of Jay every chance he got. But he had never seen her kiss him when she was supposed to be his.

“The way I see this is you have two options.” Will bought Jay’s focus back to the room “Either you end it and just give her some time, or you decide it’s something you can deal with, that you love her enough and you give it your all”

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna be pilling more shit on to her, but I can’t ignore it either.” Jay sighed

“Go talk to her” Will told him “you owe it to both of you to at least have a conversation”

* * *

  **Author Note:** The below section’s idea came from and partly written by @LottyCharl

* * *

Hank, Adam, Kevin and Lexi were the only ones left in the office, they were finishing up reports and following leads before calling it a night. Jay had left a few hours before as he was meeting Will for dinner.

“Lex you coming?” Adam said standing up from his desk and putting on his jacket. Lexi was sat at her desk reading reports and cross-referencing information. Adam approached her desk as she hadn’t acknowledged him. “Lex, you ready to go? I can give you a ride home, stay with you until Jay gets back” Adam told her knowing she wasn’t to be left alone.

Lexi smiled looking up at him. “Sorry I spaced out there for a second” Adam gave her a sympathetic smile, she looked exhausted, it was all clearly taking an emotional toll on her. “Thanks, but I need to speak to Voight, I’ll get him to give me a ride, and I’ve got a protective detail on me.”

“Okay, call me if you need anything” Adam told her leaning over and kissing her forehead “see you tomorrow”.

“Night Lex” Kevin called as he descended the stairs.

“Later Kev” she smiled waving. Lexi waited to hear the gate at the bottom of the stairs close before she stood and walked to Voight’s office. “Sarge, can I talk to you?” Lexi said, knocking on the open door.

“Of course, what can I do for you?” Voight asked as Lexi walked in and shut the door behind her.

“I just wanted to pre-warn you.” She began as she sat in the chair in front of his desk. “When all this is over, when we have Calvin, I’m done, I’m resigning. I figured if I tell you now you have time to find a replacement”

Voight repositioned himself on his chair sitting up straighter “Lexi, you’re one of the best I have. You were meant for this job; can I ask why? Why now?”

“I can’t do this job anymore if it means the people I love are put at risk.” She said.

“You’re going to let some psycho prick dictate your life? We’re gonna get this guy!” Voight raised his voice, he hated that some asshole was making her feel this way.

“I know” Lexi nodded her agreement “we are going to get this guy, but I know I’d doubt myself. Every arrest I made, every decision I made I’d question if it meant I was putting someone in harm’s way, I can’t live like that”

Voight sighed audibly. “Are you sure about this? What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet; I haven’t thought that far ahead I just know I’m done being a cop.” Voight sighed but didn’t speak. “Let me tell the team, and don’t mention it to Jay yet please”

Voight nodded and cleared his throat “I won’t start any proceedings, give you time to think it over and if you don’t want to come back then that’s your choice.”

“Thanks.” Lexi said turning around and leaving, she stood for a moment in the empty room where the unit normally sat but by now most of them would likely be at Molly’s. Enjoying the rare silence, she walked across to her desk and picked up her phone noticing multiple missed calls from Kelly. As she turned the screen off a call came through from Gabby. Lexi hadn’t spoken to Gabby since discovering Shay had left her share of Molly’s to her and Kelly. “Hey Gabby, what’s up?”

“Lex, it’s me.” A familiar voice came through the phone. “Don’t hang up.” Kelly added quickly.

“Where’s Gabby, why have you got her phone?” Lexi queried not trusting her ex.

“She’s right here, you weren’t answering my calls, which is understandable, but I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Kelly explained.

“Tell me what?” She asked, getting worried. She didn’t like his tone of voice.

“It’s Jay, he was in a car crash.” Lexi’s whole world seemed to shut down in those few words. “Squad 3 just cut him out of his car, he’s on his way to med” Lexi didn’t respond, she couldn’t find the words. She couldn’t go through this again, she couldn’t lose Jay. “Lexi?” Kelly questioned, not knowing if she was still on the line or not.

“Lexi, is everything okay?” Voight asked, walking out of his office after seeing his detective slide down the side of the desk she had been leaning on, tears streaming down her face.

"Jay…” Lexi choked on a sob. “Jay’s been in an accident." Lexi managed to get out between sobs.

"What hospital is he being taken to?" Voight asked, taking the phone from her hand.

"Chicago Med." Kelly answered.

"We'll meet you there." Voight said before hanging up. "He'll be okay." Voight assured her helping her up.


	19. Peachy

**Author Note:** The below section’s idea came from and partly written by @LottyCharl

* * *

"Where is he?" Lexi half shouted at Kelly charging in to the emergency department of Chicago Med and seeing him leaning on the reception desk next to Gabby and Brett who were completing paperwork.

"He's in surgery." Kelly said calmly.

“What happened?” Lexi asked looking from Kelly to Dawson.

“Lexi sit down” Kelly told her, he knew she was close to another panic attack.

Gabby led Lexi to an empty chair and sat beside her holding her hand. Voight watched Gabby speak softly to Lexi, calming her down. “Was there a second car involved?” Voight asked Kelly.

Kelly shook his head “No, a truck ran him off the road, he hit a street light. Driver of the truck left the scene. Witnesses were saying it looked like the truck hit him on purpose."

Voight pulled his phone from his pocket and rang the team, sending them to the scene.

"Did Kelly just say he was hit by a truck?" Lexi asked looking at Voight not wanting to believe her own ears.

"Yeah, I've sent the guys to the scene to see what they can find out." Voight assured her.

"That means its bad. He got hit by a truck now he's in surgery. That can't be good." Lexi said, placing her head in her hands.

"Why would someone run him off the road?” Kelly asked

“It has to be Calvin" Lexi told him, she looked up at Voight “If he’s been watching me, he must know Kelly and I broke up. Calvin knows I’m with Jay so he’s targeting him now"

"Does it sound like something Calvin would've done?" Voight asked.

"Yeah, he wasn't the strongest guy. Didn't like fist fights or confrontation, so vehicular manslaughter definitely sounds up his alley." Lexi said standing up, she couldn’t sit still but didn’t know what else to do.

“It’s not manslaughter” Voight told her “Jay will be fine”

“We need to get back” Gabby told them. Lexi hugged Gabby and Brett thanking them for helping Jay. “Let us know when you hear anything?” Gabby asked.

“Definitely” Lexi confirmed coming out of her hug with Brett. Lexi looked at Kelly stood a few feet away watching her, waiting to see if she would thank him. “Thank you” she said but didn’t approach to hug him.

Kelly looked a little hurt but didn’t comment. “I hope he’s okay” he told her before walking away.

“I need to tell Will” Lexi said turning to Voight.

* * *

  **Author Note:** The below section’s idea came from and partly written by @LottyCharl

* * *

Hank and Lexi sat in the waiting room out of the way of the emergency department. “Lexi” Will said entering the hospital behind her. Lexi stood and hugged Will as he approached her. “How is he?”

“We haven’t heard anything yet” Lexi explained.

“I’m gonna go find out” Will said striding past her.

“Will I’m sorry” Lexi called after him as the automatic doors closed behind him.

She sat back in the seat she had been sat in and ran her hands through her hair. “This is not your fault” Voight told her as she sat beside him. "Don't blame yourself."

"That's pretty hard when everything that goes wrong is my fault."

"That's not true."

"Sure." Lexi said sarcastically.

"Give me a sec." Voight said, pulling his ringing phone from his pocket and walking away from Lexi to take the call privately.

"Sarge, I think we've got something." Ruzek said as soon as Voight picked up. "We followed the truck back to where it came from using pod footage and found a clip of the driver getting in. The witnesses have said its intentional so we’re thinking it could be Poe. It’s gonna take a while for facial recognition to come back so we figured Lexi could take a look at the footage?" He said.

"Send it to me, I’ll show her." Voight stated before hanging up.

"Have they found something?" Lexi asked as soon as he walked back to her.

"They've got CCTV footage of the driver getting into the truck." Voight said loading up the video Ruzek had sent him and giving her the phone.

"I think that's Calvin." She said after watching it twice through and pausing it on his face. The video showed the driver looking directly at camera before getting in to the cab of the truck.

"You think?" Voight questioned.

"He looks... different to how I remember." Lexi said. "His face is a little fatter and his jaw is a different shape."

"You broke his jaw remember?"

Lexi paused for a second, staring at the picture, mentally reconstructing his jaw. "That's him. That's Calvin."

“Okay, we can work with that. We can trace the truck, it’s a removals truck, maybe he works for the company” Voight said getting back on his phone.

* * *

Lexi sat in the hospital room watching Jay sleeping. He had had surgery to reset his broken arm. The Nurses had taken him to a private room where Lexi and Will had sat at his side for the last two hours, Jay had woken for a few minutes but was disorientated and in pain, so he had been sedated.

Lexi heard the door open and looked up to see Will returning carrying two cups of coffee, he used his foot to close the door. “We have two stern looking guards outside” Will told her handing her a cup. Voight had demanded Lexi and Jay have 24-hour guard duty. “Is it really necessary?”

Lexi smiled her thanks as she took the cup “I wish it wasn’t” Will took a seat next to Lexi. “Although I think if I left, he’d be safe”

“Are you kidding me? He’d never let you leave him” Will chuckled “I’ve never seen him so happy. All he spoke about at dinner was you.” Will laughed looking lovingly at his younger brother. “Did you two not talk?”

Lexi shook her head “I haven’t seen him since before he came to meet you”

“He was coming to talk to you Lex. He told me what happened, we talked it out and I think he was coming to work it out with you. Tell you he loves you”  

“That seems to be the deciding factor in getting hurt nowadays” Lexi sighed sipping the awful coffee.

“Lexi, I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through, what you’ve been going through the past few weeks, but I do know I’m grateful you’re in Jay’s life. I know you played a big part in him getting help for his PTSD, you may be the only reason.”

Lexi wiped the tears that fell. She knew Will was trying to make her feel better, but she didn’t deserve it. Lexi growled audibly, she was sick of crying, tired of being sad, worn-out of feeling like her world was falling apart. She looked at the ceiling and blinked back tears. “I swear ever since I lost Shay, I feel like I’ve stepped in to some parallel dimension, everything’s wrong somehow, the only thing that makes sense to me is him. I don’t know what I’d do without him”

Will put his hand on her shoulder and squeeze reassuringly. “You won’t have to find out, he’s right here, he’s going to be fine”

* * *

Lexi woke up in the hospital chair a few hours later, her neck ached and her back cracked audibly as she sat up straight. Will was asleep in the chair beside her. Jay looked peaceful, bruised but peaceful, his left arm was in a cast and resting on his chest, his left eye and cheek were bruised, he had small cuts on the left side of his face from shards of glass, she stood and kissed his head lightly.

She needed to stretch, leaving the room she closed the door quietly and greeted the officers stood at either side of the door. “Hey Williams, Johnson”

“Detective” they said in unison.

Officer Williams began to follow her as she walked away asking “Need an escort?”

“I’m just going to stretch my legs” She told him “stay with Jay please. I’m not going far.” Lexi assured them turning left at the end of the corridor. She passed a row of chairs and stopped as she recognised the sleeping occupant.

“Kelly” Lexi called sitting beside him gently nudging him awake. Kelly sat up rubbing his eyes “What are you doing here?” she asked as he yawned.

“Wanted to check in on you. The officers on the door wouldn’t let me in. I tried calling you, but your phone went to voicemail”

“oh shit” Lexi said taking her phone from her pocket checking it for any updates from Voight she explained, “I put it on silent earlier, so it didn’t wake Jay”

“How is he?”

“He was really lucky. A broken arm, a pretty bad concussion, cuts and bruises. He’ll be in the hospital for a few days for observation, but he’ll be okay”

Kelly nodded “good, glad to hear it. How’re you feeling?”

“Exhausted, scared, angry, guilty” Lexi listed running her hands over her face, resting her elbows on her knees she left her head in her hands.

“So pretty good then” Kelly laughed

Lexi chuckled “Just peachy” Lexi sat forward on her chair and stretched her back straight, put her arms above her head. “Hospital chairs were not made for sleeping in” She groaned

Kelly put his hands on her shoulders and began to massage the tension out of her neck and shoulders, reaching for her, touching her was a habit. Lexi shot to her feet and spun around to face him.  

“Sorry” Kelly told her holding his hands up surrendering, the smile on his face told her he wasn’t sorry at all, he liked that he made her nervous.

“I should get back, before the officers send out a search party”

“I need to say something first” Kelly began reaching for her hand. “I’ve been thinking about what you said about you being the reason for Shay’s death.” Lexi allowed him to take her hand and lead her back to sit in the chair beside him.

“Okay” Lexi held her breath she didn’t like where he was going with this, was he going to agree with her and blame her? Tell her she should have been the one to die again? She wasn’t sure she could deal with hearing that.

“If you had told Shay going in to that building that she would get hurt, or worse. She still would have gone in there. It’s who she was, someone needed help, nothing would have stopped her.” Kelly smiled sweetly “That was Shay through and through, she helped people”

“Thanks Kelly” Lexi smiled, happy tears filled her eyes. Kelly was right, Shay wouldn’t let anything stop her if someone needed help, it wasn’t only her job, it was her passion. “I needed that. I’ve been so focused on the fact that she’s gone, I forgot who she was”

They both sat in contemplative silence for a minute, remembering Shay, who she was, how she helped people, how stubborn she could be. “I really should get back before a SWAT team bursts in here” Lexi said standing up again

“Yeah of course” Kelly said standing as well.

Lexi hugged him quickly then pulled away. “Thank you for coming” Lexi told him walking back towards Jay’s room.

“Lex” Kelly called after her. She stopped walking and turned to face him smiling, he walked to stand in front of her, he didn’t want to shout across the hospital. “Can we be friends?”

“We can try, I guess” she told him “but we never were friends, we’ve never been just friends, Kelly”

“I know that” he sighed “but I can’t just cut you out of my life.”

Lexi nodded she understood what he meant. They had been together for six years, it wasn’t easy to just cease all communication, to not be in each other’s lives. “Like I said, we can try” she stated continuing to walk away. 

* * *

Jay woke up in his hospital bed looking up at bright florescent lights. He groaned a little and tried to lift his arm to wipe it over his face and noticed the white cast he now wore. “Hey, hey” Lexi said appearing at his side taking his good hand in hers. “Welcome back”

“Hey” Jay smiled up at her.

Lexi’s emotions took over and her eyes filled with relieved tears as she kissed an unbruised spot on his head. “What do you remember?”

“I went to dinner with Will, then I was driving home, I was coming to talk to you. Then I was wiped out by a truck. Then it’s all a bit blurry, not sure what was real and what I dreamt.”

The door opened, and Will entered in his hospital scrubs. “Hey look who finally decided to wake up” Will smiled seeing Jay.

“Hey bro” Jay smiled at him.

"You had us worried there for a second” Will chastised standing beside his bed “How’re you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a truck” Jay’s attempted humour didn’t earn a smile from anyone, they were too tense, still worried about him. “Can I sit up in this thing?” Jay asked, Will pushed the button to make Jay’s bed sit him upright. “Okay give it to me. What’s the damage?”

“Pretty severe concussion, broken arm” Will listed “You’ll be stuck in here for a few days”

Jay groaned “Great”

“It’s not that bad” Will said “I’ll assign all the hot nurses to you, just think of all the sponge baths”

“Hey” Lexi laughed looking at Will “I will shoot you!”

Jay and Will both laughed at her before Will began explaining the precautions Jay needed to take with regards to his concussion.

Lexi realised she may not have had the right to be jealous. She let go of Jay’s hand and backed in to the chair she had been sat in most of the night.

“I’ve got to do my rounds” Will announced backing towards the door. “But I’ll check in on you later”

The echo of the door closing filled the room. Lexi stared down at her feet, unable to meet Jay’s eyes that she knew were examining her. They hadn’t spoken since her revelation of her second kiss with Kelly. She didn’t know the status of their relationship. Will had told her Jay had been on the way to talk to her when he had been hit by the truck, to tell her he loved her but that didn’t mean he wasn’t breaking up with her. He might have wanted to tell her he loved her but couldn’t be with her.

Maybe it would be better if they weren’t together, maybe Jay would be safe from Calvin if she put some distance between them.

Lexi couldn’t take the tension in the room, she had to break the silence. “Will was here all night.” she told Jay standing up and walking to the rooms only window and looking out “I don’t know how he’s still functioning after being in these chairs all night” 

“Lexi, we need…” Jay began stopping mid-sentence as he heard the door open. They both turned to see the Intelligence Team pile in lead by Ruzek.

* * *

“I saw the state of your car” Adam told Jay and the rest of the intelligence team who had gathered around Jay’s bed, Lexi stayed by the window listening to the conversation. “I don’t know how you walked away let alone with just a broken arm”

“Let’s be thankful that’s all it was” Atwater said bumping fists with Jay.

“Where are we at with it all?” Jay asked looking to Voight. “What do we know?”

“We know it was Poe” Burgess began to explain “We have CCTV of him getting in the truck, he made no attempt to hide his face. He’s been working at the removals company for about a month but gave a fake name and address. We’re interviewing all the employee’s see if he told anyone anything we can use.”

“So, you’re saying he’s spent a month moving people in and out of properties all over Chicago” Lexi spoke from her position by the window, the team turned to look at her. “So, he knows all the empty places, he could have a hundred hiding places.”

“Someone at that place will know something” Dawson assured her “even if they don’t realise it.”

“It’s a needle in…” Jay began then shook his head like he was confused and trying to gather his thoughts.

“Jay?” Lexi questioned walking to him noticing how pale he had become. Before she could reach him, Jay’s head dropped to the side and his eyes closed like he had passed out, the machines he was connected to began blaring a warning signal to the hospital staff. “Jay” Lexi coaxed reaching him “Jay, talk to me, Jay please?” Lexi pleaded as hospital staff burst in to the room.

“We need everyone out now” a nurse told them.

“Lexi let them do their job” Adam guided her out of the room as the nurses and doctors began to work on Jay.

* * *

A few minutes after closing the door the nurses and doctors had rushed out pushing Jay in his bed, no one hung back to explain what was happening they were all in too much of a rush. Lexi had watched them go and Adam had pulled her back when she had tried to follow them.

“I’m going to find someone who can tell us what’s happening” Olinsky started walking towards the hospitals main reception as Will turned the corner walking at speed towards them.

Everyone stood up and walked towards him at the same time. “He’s in emergency surgery” Will explained to them “he has a ruptured spleen. It’s common after a car crash and sometimes hard to spot” Will was in full doctor mode he was calm and collected, stating facts, not letting his emotions take over. “The surgeon said it’s not too bad, thinks he can repair it rather than having to remove it”

The whole group seemed to heave a sigh of relief at the same time. Will hugged Lexi assuring her “I’ll keep you updated as much as I can but it’s going to be a few hours”

“Thank you” Lexi told him coming out of the embrace and sitting in the nearest chair suddenly extremely exhausted. The past few days events were taking their toll on her.

“You should get some rest” Will advised her.

“I’ll rest when I know Jay’s okay”

“I’ll see what I can do about getting a cot set up in his room for you” Will suggested knowing she wasn’t going to leave the hospital any time soon.

Lexi’s phone vibrated in her pocket she stood, holding a hand up to Will asking him to give her a second “Lexi Shay” she answered not recognising the number on the screen.

“Miss Shay, this is Nurse McCain at Chicago Med, we have your name as the emergency contact for Kelly Severide” Lexi’s throat tightened her head went light, she put a hand out and grabbed on to Will, gripping his arm. The Intelligence Unit crowded round her instinctively knowing something was wrong.  “Mr Severide is in the emergency department of Chicago Med, he’s been stabbed”

“I’ll be there in a minute” Lexi told the nurse hanging up the phone. “Kelly’s in the hospital, he’s been stabbed” Lexi told everyone, she stood still for a second trying to make sense of everything, then she took off running through the hospital to the emergency room.


	20. Superficial Wounds

Lexi ran through the hospital. She could hear the rest of the team hot on her heels, she burst in to the Emergency Room and began searching the cubicles for Kelly, “Lex, over here” Kevin called her having located Kelly on the opposite side she had begun to search.

Lexi rushed in to the room to see Kelly lay on his back, a nurse stitching a cut on his right arm and another nurse stitching a wound above his left hip. His nose had dried blood underneath, his right eye was beginning to bruise, the leg of his jeans was covered in dry blood.

“Kelly” Lexi said walking to stand beside him.

Kelly opened his eyes at the sound of her voice and looked up at her. “I’m okay” he assured her “it looks worse than it is”

“What the hell happened?” Lexi asked taking in all his injuries.

Voight stood on the other side of Kelly “Tell us exactly what happened?”

“Someone jumped me outside my apartment. I was getting my keys out of my pocket and then someone’s smashing my face in to my car. They tried to put something over my mouth but I fought back, managed to get the upper hand for a second, which got me this” Kelly pointed to the stab wound on his left side as he continued to explain “I got hold of the knife and stabbed them in the shoulder, he fell to the floor, I was backing away and then someone else got me from behind and put something over my face. I passed out, I must have been out for a few hours, my neighbour found me and called the ambo” 

“Did you get a look at them?” Voight enquired

“The first one was probably same height as me. Wearing all black, hood up, gloves. I didn’t even know the second one was there until he was on me, and then I was out”

“They say anything?” Adam asked from his position by the door.

Kelly looked a little cautious, like he didn’t want to say what he was about to say. Kelly cleared his throat. “Yeah, the first guy said, ‘Being her friend is dangerous”.

“He must have followed you from the hospital. Kelly came here last night” Lexi elaborated knowing the team would need further explanation “We spoke for about ten minutes in the waiting area”

Will entered the room carrying Kelly’s chart “You’re lucky. The wounds are superficial” Will explained reading from the chart “but you will need to stay in for twenty-four hours for observation”

“No” Kelly stated firmly “I’m fine”

"No, you’re not” Lexi told him “You said yourself you hit your head, in fact smashed was the term you used. Plus, they drugged you, you don’t know what lasting effects it could have”

“I feel fine”

“KELLY” Lexi raised her voice “just once… once please don’t fight with me. I can’t deal with it right now.” Lexi waited for a response and when Kelly didn’t protest Lexi walked out of the room.

“As soon as these ladies have finished stitching you up Dawson will take a full statement from you” Voight told Kelly before following Lexi out.

* * *

The Intelligence team trailed Lexi as she walked back towards Jay’s room. She stopped and sat in the same chair she had sat in hours before speaking with Kelly.

Lexi called Chief Boden explaining what had happened to Kelly and advised she would keep him updated should anything change. She hung up the phone and ran her hands over her face.

“I don’t get the game here” Adam stated “he didn’t rob Severide, he just wounded him and knocked him out”

“The game is to scare me” Lexi told him her face still in her hands. She pushed her hair out of her face and left her hands interwind behind her neck, her elbows leaning on her knees. “To make me see he can strike at any minute. Hurt anyone he wants to” Lexi inhaled and exhaled slowly, she could feel another panic attack coming on. Jay was in surgery, Kelly was being stitched up, when was it going to end? How much more could she take? Enough was enough, she couldn’t sit and wait around for someone else to get hurt, she wouldn’t wait for Calvin to make his next move. She didn’t have any tears left to cry. She needed a plan , a plan to draw Calvin out, get him to come to her, or take the fight to him, no searching the whole city for him.

Voight began giving orders to the team, leads they were to follow, people they needed to speak to. “Hank” Lexi interrupted his delegating standing up “I’ve had a really bad idea”

Voight could see the determination in her eyes, the fight or flight decision had been made and she was going to fight. “What do you need?” Hank enquired.

“I need someone to stay here and keep me posted on Jay and Kelly” Lexi began.

"Done” Atwater offered

Lexi smiled and continued, the more she thought about it the more the plan was coming in to focus the more it made sense. “I need someone to go to Jay’s apartment, get us some clothes and stuff, we’re going to be here for a while”

  
“We’ll go” Burgess confirmed pointing between her and Ruzek.

“Thank you.” Lexi looked directly at Voight “And we need to go see an old colour changing friend”

Voight smirked knowing exactly where she needed to go. “Lead the way”

* * *

Lexi sat in the passenger seat of the pick-up truck Hank was driving. She felt better, she had a strategy, she was doing something not waiting around for Calvin to strike again. The deciding factor in her plan, the colour changing friend had agreed to play their part. She would end this, once and for all. She refused to be afraid anymore, looking over her shoulder, dreading her phone ringing for fear it was the call to tell her someone else had been hurt.

“Are you sure about all of this?” Voight asked pulling the truck to a stop at a red light. 

Lexi nodded “Yes, I’m taking a risk I know but it’s what I have to do. Part of what I need to do, means I need to give you this” Lexi pulled her badge from its position on her hip and placed it in the cup holder that divided their chairs as Voight began driving again.

Voight looked down at the badge quickly then back at the road as the light changed. “We’ve already discussed this”

“I know. But I can’t do what I need to do, what needs to be done with a badge on my hip”

Voight pulled the truck to a stop outside Firehouse 51 and switched off the engine. “You’d be surprised what your capable of with a badge on your hip”

“I have no doubt of my capabilities” Lexi assured him “I’m not bringing Calvin in alive, I know that. It’s beyond justice now, it’s about cold hearted, painful, bloody, vengeance. But that badge means other people will be held accountable, you will be held accountable, I won’t put that on you” Lexi told him getting out of the truck and walking towards Firehouse 51.

* * *

Hank and Lexi entered the kitchen of Firehouse 51 followed by Chief Boden. Truck 81, Squad 3 and Ambulance 61 were all hanging around doing various things, reading, watching tv, eating waiting for their next call. “Dawson, Herrmann, Otis” Boden called gaining the attention of the room. “The detective’s need to speak with you”

They all exchanged a questioning look, but all followed the Detectives and Boden in to the briefing room. Boden closed the doors behind them and returned to his office, technically this concerned Molly’s and not Firehouse 51. “How’s Jay?” Dawson asked sitting on one of the desks.

“He’s in surgery again” Lexi explained “he had a ruptured spleen, Will seems to think it’s not as bad as it sounds but we’re just waiting on news.”

“I hope he’s okay” Herrmann told her.

“I’m sure he will be” Dawson assured her “he’s in the best hands”

Lexi smiled her thanks. “I’ll keep you posted”. Lexi took a deep breath “Okay, the reason I asked you all in here is because I need a favour”

* * *

A few hours later Jay woke up looking at those same bright lights, they hurt his eyes, his head was pounding. He looked around to see Lexi asleep on a camp bed under the window, it didn’t look comfortable, nonetheless she was asleep. She looked peaceful, at ease, carefree if only for a minute.

He heard the door open and Will spoke loudly when he saw Jay was awake “Hey baby brother”

Jay put his fingers to his lips warning Will to be quiet. “Ssshhh dude. Don’t wake her” Jay whispered.

“Sorry, I didn’t see her” Will had requested a bed for her but didn’t know they had already sent it up for her. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like crap piled on crap” Jay grimaced trying to reposition himself in the bed to get comfortable.

“You had a ruptured spleen, the doctor repaired it without having to remove it which is a good thing. Still means another week or so in here for you.” Will explained helping Jay sit up using pillows behind his back and pushing the button on the bed to make it sit up right “and her I guess” Will motioned towards Lexi.

“She hasn’t left?”

“She was gone with Voight when I came back to tell her she could shower in the nurses lounge if she wanted to. Atwater said she was running an errand.” Will shrugged.

Jay noticed Lexi hadn’t changed her clothes, she must have run her errand then returned to the hospital.  

Burgess and Ruzek appeared from the corridor carrying a rucksack each, one containing Jay’s things and another for Lexi’s. “Hey good to see you awake” Burgess told Jay.

“Glad to see you back with us” Adam agreed.

Lexi stirred hearing the voices and sat up slowly, locking eyes with Jay she breathed deeply clearly relieved he was okay. Jay smiled at her, trying to reassure her he was okay, Lexi returned his smile.

“We got everything on the list” Burgess said walking towards Lexi and putting the rucksack on the end of her bed.

“Thanks” Lexi smiled standing up and stretching her back out. “Is that offer of a shower still available?” she asked looking at Will picking up the rucksack Burgess had given her.

“Of course,” Will told her walking towards the door to show her where to go.

“I’ll come find you in a minute, if that’s okay?” Lexi asked Will “I need to update Jay” Will nodded knowing she needed to tell Jay about Kelly. 

“Yeah okay, I’ll be around, come find me” Will told her leaving the room.

Lexi walked to stand beside Jay’s bed. Jay couldn’t read her expression, she looked almost numb, like she wasn’t feeling anything. Her eyes were distant. “Severide is in the hospital. He was stabbed, we assume by Calvin or one of his associates” Lexi explained her tone flat and emotionless.

“Is he okay?” Jay asked when she offered no further information.

“He’s fine, superficial wounds but they knocked him out with some kind of drug” Lexi reported “probably chloroform so has to stay in the hospital for twenty-four hours”

“Maybe you could share a room” Adam joked earning a punch in the arm from Kim. “What? Too soon?”

Lexi chuckled without humour “Ruzek can you get the team to meet here, in about an hour? So I can explain everything” Lexi asked as she passed him.

“Sure” Ruzek assured her watching her leave the room.

“What did I miss?” Jay asked Ruzek and Burgess looking towards the door. Lexi seemed different, like she had found a new purpose, she had focus, there was a sense of authority about her, she was taking charge.

Burgess shrugged sitting on the edge of Jay’s bed. “She’s been like that since you crashed, and Kelly was bought in” Kim explained.


	21. No More Chasing Tails

The Intelligence Team took over Jay’s hospital room. Voight stood in the corner, Burgess sat on the edge of Jay’s bed, Ruzek and Atwater occupied the chairs Lexi and Will had slept in the night before, Olinsky sat on Lexi’s makeshift bed and Dawson stood at the end of Jay’s bed.

Lexi stood by the top of Jay’s bed, allowing everyone to have a view of her. “Okay” Voight said loudly “Listen up” he said from his position of leaning against the wall. The conversations fizzled out and the room grew slowly quiet. “Lexi needs the floor”

When she was sure she had everyone’s attention she started “I have a plan to draw Calvin out, no more chasing our tails, following fake leads, I want to bring him to me”

“We’re not going to like this are we?” Dawson asked her tone of voice told him her plan was risky.

Lexi shook her head “Probably not”

“Okay lay it on us” Adam told her.

“First of all, no more protective detail on me…” Lexi commenced explaining her plan.

“What? NO!” Jay objected loudly looking at Hank wondering why he would ever agree to that.

“Let her finish” Voight warned

Lexi ignored the outburst and continued as if nothing had been said. “You heard Benny, Calvin’s not after me, not yet anyway, he’s targeting the people I care about, everyone I love which includes everyone in this room. Having a detail on me is a waste of resources. So, no protective detail. Plus, I need him to think I’m vulnerable.” Lexi took a deep breath giving everyone a minute to process. “I won’t be completely alone. You’ve all heard of the Chi-town Chameleon?”

“The assassin from the 90s?” Atwater asked. Lexi nodded her head. “They told us stories about him in the academy. He has like forty-one confirmed kills, no evidence ever left at a scene except a little clay model of a Chameleon.”

“Hey” Burgess chided “it’s never been confirmed he’s a he!”

Lexi grinned at Burgess always making sure that the women were represented. “Forty-one confirmed kills but it’s more like boarding in the seventies range. Anyway…” Lexi shook her head she was getting off track talking about crime rates. “the Chameleon is one of my CI’s, they’ve…” Lexi emphasised ‘they’ve’ to not only protect the Chameleon’s identity but to show Burgess she agreed with her. “…helped me put away about 35 people, and I’m owed a favour.” Lexi went in to complete detective mode, her plan was a good plan, even if it was risky one. “The only thing we are one hundred percent sure of with Calvin is that he’s watching me, right? So, the Chameleon is going to follow me, until they can follow Calvin, for as long as it takes”

Lexi allowed the room to fall silent, allowing them to assess what she had told them. “And when the Chameleon catches him?” Dawson asked

“That brings me on to the next part of the plan” Lexi began, she took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The next bomb she was about to drop she knew would cause an uproar. “I’ve given Voight my badge”

Everyone spoke at the same time, Lexi listened to the noise, questions of “is this a joke?”, “You can’t be serious”, “What does that achieve?”, “It’s all just a ploy though right?” filled the room.  

Lexi looked at Voight for some assistance from the bombardment of questions. “ENOUGH” Hank raised his voice silencing the room, he nodded at Lexi telling her to continue.

“I don’t plan on putting cuffs on him.” Lexi looked each team member in the eye in turn except Jay, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him, to see disappointment, fear or hurt in his eyes. “When the Chameleon catches Calvin, I’m not bringing him in.” Lexi paused trying to find the words to explain. “I’m not going to put him behind bars for him to be released and come after me again, to hurt someone else I love”

No one spoke, Dawson looked at everyone’s faces to try to gauge their thoughts and knew no one disagreed with her. “If anyone has a problem with that, now is the time to walk away, no questions, no hard feelings, no consequences.” Voight finished for her. The room remained silent whilst everyone made their decisions, they had been given an out, if they wanted to leave now was the time. No one moved, and no one spoke, Voight nodded accepting everyone was on board with the plan. “Okay, Lexi continue”

“I’m going to be working at and living above Molly’s.” Lexi explained she had been to see Molly’s owners earlier in the day and asked if she could work there whilst she figured out her next move. They knew the parts of her plan that were relevant to them and had agreed to help. Herrmann had advised there was an apartment above Molly’s that they weren’t using, it needed a lick of paint, but she was welcome to live there for as long as she needed, if it would help her plan. “It makes sense. It will make Calvin think his photo trick worked, that it tore me and Jay apart” Lexi almost choked on the words, she wasn’t sure if what she had said was true. Maybe it had worked, they still hadn’t spoken, maybe it really had torn them apart.

“So, what do we do in the meantime?” Atwater asked after a moments silence.

“Continue to work the case” Voight offered “it needs to look like we’re still after him, which we are, if we can catch him before the Chameleon then so be it”

“Questions? Comments? Suggestions?” Lexi asked trying to lighten the tense mood in the room.

“I just wanna know that you know that this is bat shit crazy?” Adam spoke up

“Hiring an assassin to stalk a murderous stalker?” Lexi asked smirking “it’s so bat shit crazy it might actually work”

“I’m good with that” Adam said standing from his chair and fist bumping her.

“Let’s go get some work done” Voight suggested moving from his position and ushering everyone towards the door “Jay needs his rest.”

Lexi followed the group to the door Voight herding them out “Thank you for today” Lexi told Voight at the door.

“Don’t mention it” he told her before Lexi closed the door.

* * *

Lexi stood with her hand on the closed-door handle, the private bathroom attached to the room made a corner that was blocked from Jay’s view. She held her breath, she could just leave, she didn’t need to go back in and face Jay. She could just go out of the room and let him rest. She wasn’t sure she was ready to talk to him alone.

“Lexi” Jay spoke softly, she didn’t move, she stayed quiet “I know you’re still there”  

Lexi exhaled and turned on her heels ready to face the music and walked around the corner. She stood at the end of his bed where Dawson had stood moments ago. They stared at one another, neither one willing to talk first, neither one willing to break eye contact.

“So, you’ve left me,” Jay stated rather than asked “you’re not my partner anymore.” Lexi hadn’t specified that giving her badge to Voight was temporary or not, but Jay knew her, better than she knew herself sometimes and he knew it was permanent, she wasn’t a cop anymore.

Lexi broke eye contact and looked at her feet, she felt guilty for not telling him privately or discussing the decision with him first, but there hadn’t been time. “Only at work. I’m still here, I’m not going anywhere” she looked in his eyes again “whether you want me here or not”

“I do want you here” he told her “always”

“In what capacity?” Lexi asked knowing him wanting her around didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to be with her still.

“Oh, I’m going to need a waitress, a back scratcher, someone to nurse me back to health, sponge baths” Jay joked.

Lexi laughed he would one hundred percent make her do all those things whilst he recovered. She needed a distraction, she walked to her bed and began neatening it up, organising her bag, Jay watched her go from one needless task to the next, she took Jay’s clothes from his bag and folded them again, clearly Adam had packed his bag, all his clothes had just been thrown in. “We don’t have to talk about this now, but I just need to know, have I completely screwed us up?” Lexi asked sighing and sitting on the edge of her bed looking at Jay.

“Honestly, I don’t know right now”

Lexi nodded, that was fair, he needed time to think about everything. The last few days had been manic, there hadn’t been time to breathe let alone make life decisions. “I’m so sorry Jay, I never meant to hurt you” Lexi stood up again, she couldn’t sit still.

“I know that” He told her as she sat in the chair nearest to his bed. “I need to know…” Jay began, he guessed now was as good a time as any to talk about it. He inhaled deeply then exhaled asking, “Who initiated it? The kiss, you or him?”

Lexi wasn’t going to lie to him “Both of us” 

“What made you stop?”

“I came to my senses, I realised what I was doing to you was wrong. I don’t want to be a cheat. I didn’t want to do to you what he did to me.”

Jay put his head back on his pillow and spoke to the ceiling. “I hate this. I hate the thought of him touching you, of you kissing him. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I knew you wouldn’t be able to give Kelly up so easily”

“I don’t want him Jay, I want you” Lexi interrupted him standing and sitting on the edge of his bed, one leg on the floor the other tucked beneath her. She took his uninjured hand in hers. “I love you and I’m sorry, you deserve so much better”

Jay took his hand back slowly. “I love you too” he confirmed “but I don’t know if that’s enough right now. I knew I’d have to fight Kelly to keep you, but I can’t fight your feelings for him too”

Lexi wanted to tell him he didn’t have to fight her feelings, that he was all she wanted, all she needed, that she wouldn’t put herself in a position for it to happen again, but hadn’t that been her intention the first time she had been apologising for kissing Kelly? Could she honestly promise him that it wouldn’t happen again, especially when Kelly decided to show up unexpectedly?

Lexi stood from the bed “you should get some rest.”

“You should too.” He told her pointing at the bed across the room.

She smiled standing up “I will, I just need some fresh air”

“Don’t be too long, I might need a back scratch” he smirked at her and she smiled back before walking around the bed disappearing around the corner to walk out of the room.

* * *

**Two days later.**

Kelly watched Lexi enter his room and close the door quietly behind her. “Hey” he said softly to let her know he was awake.

“Hey, thought you’d be asleep”

“It’s kinda hard to sleep” Kelly explained as she sat on the edge of his bed. “when the nurses keep coming in to check on me”

Lexi smiled sympathetically at him. The nurses were only doing their job, but he did look exhausted. Kelly sat up in the bed, Lexi moved to put some pillows behind his back. “Kelly I…”

Kelly interrupted her quickly “Don’t apologise.” Lexi closed her mouth cutting herself off mid apology as she sat back on the bed. “None of this is your fault” He smiled at her trying to show her he didn’t blame her for his current situation.

Lexi sighed, she wouldn’t apologise to him, what good would it do anyway? It wouldn’t make his wounds heal any quicker, he didn’t have to blame her for her to blame herself. Shay, Jay and Kelly had all been hurt because of her.

“I’m kinda glad Shay isn’t here to see the mess I’ve made of everything!” Kelly admitted.

“Oh, she’d totally have kicked your ass by now!” Lexi told him smiling thinking about Shay putting Kelly in his place.

“What do you think she’d have said?”

“She’d have told you that she loves you no matter what but you’re a complete asshole and you need to get your head checked” Kelly and Lexi laughed, it was quite accurate.

“She’d have told you to stop blaming yourself and that quitting being a cop is not the answer”

“Ah, you heard about that?”

“I may have overheard something. Is it true? You’re not a cop anymore?”

Lexi nodded “I’m officially one fifth owner of a bar and bar maid” she chuckled

“That really what you want? You love being a cop”

“I do” she confirmed. Lexi furrowed her brow and looked down at her feet, it hurt to talk about no longer being a Detective, it was hard to admit she already missed it. “But I love the people I love being alive more”

“That include me?” Kelly asked taking her hand from her lap.

Looking up at him as he intertwined their hands, she answered. “You know it does”

“Only when I’m not being a complete ass” Kelly joked.

Lexi chuckled “So only like twenty percent of the time”

Kelly laughed with her. Maybe they could be friends after all? Maybe being friends is what they always should have been.

* * *

Will walked the corridors of Chicago Med carrying two cups of coffee. It was 2:30am, the hospital was quiet, he was on a break and was looking for Lexi. Will had been to Jay’s room, Jay was asleep, and Lexi wasn’t there, he headed to Kelly’s room to check if she was there.

Will passed through a set of double doors and saw Lexi walking towards him back towards Jay’s room. “Hey” he said as she got closer “I’ve been looking for you” he told her holding up a cup to show her it was for social purposes and not because something was wrong. 

“Thank you” she said taking the offered coffee.

“You look beat” Will said turning to walk with her.

Lexi was beat, she had been going from Jay’s to Kelly’s room for two days now, splitting her time, making sure they were both okay and didn’t need anything. Kelly had been kept in for 48 hours observation after he had complained of dizziness when he stood up, thankfully he had been given the all clear a few hours ago and would be released in the morning. Matt, Gabby and Firehouse 51 had been visiting Kelly when they could, but he was still alone a lot of the time. Lexi felt guilty, he was in the hospital because of her.

“I feel worse than I look” Lexi remarked walking slowly.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“Kelly’s being released tomorrow, I can manage until then”

“You’re going to burn yourself out” Will warned “you can’t keep flitting between them both”

Lexi wasn’t sure Will was still referring to going from room to room whilst they were in the hospital now. “I’m not I’ve made my choice”

Will shook his head “That’s not what I meant, sorry.” He smiled apologetically as they reached Jay’s closed door and she turned to look at him. “But just for the record my brother is better for you”

“I know. Although I may have figured that out too late” Lexi exhaled sighing deeply. “Thanks again” she said holding up her coffee cup before entering the room.


	22. Follow You

**Three days later**

Jay sat on his hospital bed, Lexi stood in front of him helping him pull a t-shirt over his head. He had been in the hospital for five days and was tired of wearing the standard issue hospital gown. He wanted to feel a bit more human, in actual clothes. He had been allowed to shower for the first time today, with the assistance of Lexi who had used all her willpower not to leap on him the second he was naked in front of her.

Jay had managed to put on his black sweat pants without help but needed help getting his t-shirt over his casted arm and over the stitches from his surgery. Jay grimaced as he stretched his arm to high and pulled the stitches a little on his side.

“Shit I’m sorry” Lexi said pulling his shirt gently down over his stomach.

Jay exhaled deeply and closed his eyes waiting for the shooting pain in his side to subside. “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault”

“Technically it kinda of is,” Lexi told him smirking a little to show she was only half joking “Kelly punched you, Calvin tried to kill you, all because of this girl right here” she said pointing at herself.

“You know, now that I think about it, you’re right!” Jay smiled “being your friend kinda hurts”

_Ouch! –_ Lexi thought. He had called her his friend, that hurt more than she would have admitted. Although neither of them had said their relationship was over, Lexi figured that was Jay’s subtle way of making it a little clearer.

“Being your friend isn’t a walk in the park either you know” Lexi joked grinning hoping it hid the hurt in her eyes.

Jay laughed, “Is that so?”

“Yeah, I mean how many times have I had to save you from a bad date, took your drunk ass home, hid your hungover ass from Voight, bought you lunch because you conveniently forgot your wallet?”

Jay chuckled, she had done all those things numerous times. Jay played along and tried to look offended, “yeah well you steal the bed covers” he chided listing one of her flaws.

Lexi laughed, was that the only thing he could think of, she smirked replying “Oh, sleep with all your _friends_ do you?”

Jay grabbed the waist of her jeans, hooking his fingers over the top he pulled her closer to him. He wanted to kiss her, it felt right, they had been flirting and joking around for a few days, it felt like the right time to kiss her. It didn’t mean he wanted to jump back in to their relationship, one step at a time. Jay looked up at her slowly moving his head closer to hers he said, “Only the hot ones”.

Lexi leaned in to him, she joked “So you and Ruzek have…” she jested implying Adam was one of Jay’s hot friends and they had slept together.

Jay’s lips brushed hers as he whispered softly “Oh yeah loads of times.”

Adam bursting through the door and announcing, “Your saviour has arrived!” interrupted them. Jay stood up quickly making Lexi take a couple steps back. Jay had pulled away like a naughty school child having been caught doing something he shouldn’t be. He wasn’t ready for their relationship, or the restart of their relationship to be public knowledge right now.

Lexi cleared her throat “speak of the devil” she remarked walking around Jay and to the other side of the bed as Adam appeared from around the corner carrying bags of fast food.

* * *

  **Author note:** the below section was inspired by a song called “Follow You” by a band called Bring Me The Horizon. I haven’t used the direct lyric but just wanted to give credit where credit is due. 

* * *

Lexi rolled over in the bed, she lay there for a few seconds, it wasn’t comfortable at all, she rolled over on to her other side. That wasn’t comfortable either, she lay on her back staring at the ceiling of the hospital room, she wasn’t going to sleep tonight. The bed was uncomfortable, and her mind was working overtime. She couldn’t stop thinking about almost kissing Jay earlier in the day. Or forget how quickly he had pulled away from her when Adam had entered the room.

“Lex” Jay said from his bed, she turned her head to look at him, ready to apologise for waking him up. “Get over here” he said shuffling over in the bed and holding up the covers.

The light in the room was off, but the light from the hallway illuminated enough of the room to still be able to see.

Lexi crawled out of her bed and crossed the room. Getting under the covers beside him, Jay rolled on to his back putting his arm around her as she laid her head on his chest. 

They lay in the darkened room. Lexi knew he wasn’t asleep from his breathing pattern, he was snoozing but not completely asleep. “You know you don’t have to spend every night here, right?” he asked aloud knowing she wasn’t sleeping either.

Lexi’s whole body involuntarily tensed, did he not want her there? Was he telling her to leave? Was he having second thoughts about her after their almost kiss this morning before Adam interrupted? “Do you want me to go?” she asked

“No” he said quickly turning on to his side. Lexi copied his position and lay on her side, her head on the pillow beside his. “I want you here, all the time, every day, every night” he assured her “I just don’t want you to feel like you have to be here. You can go home, sleep in a proper bed”

Lexi chucked a little “I presently don’t have a home” she reminded him.

“Yes, you do” he told her pushing some stray hairs behind her ear allowing him to see her face better. “You’ll always have a home with me” Lexi smiled, how did he always know how to make her feel better? How did he always find the right words to make her feel like she was the only person in the world? “It doesn’t matter what’s going on with us” he continued “you’re always welcome wherever I am”

Lexi leant in and kissed his forehead. “How do you do that?” she asked

“Do what?”

“Make me forget everything? Make me feel better? Put my mind at ease?”

“I’ve told you before, you hit the jackpot with me” he smirked “I’m amazing”

Lexi laughed remembering him telling her how she had hit the jackpot outside his apartment after he had taken her on a date and just before he had put his cold hands on her which led to one of the best nights they had spent together. “You really are” she agreed.

“So how close did you get to your running away plan?” Jay enquired. He knew she had thought about running away, disappearing in the night without a trace, she knew enough bad people to make it happen. It was probably what had made her think about the Chameleon, which led to the plan she had gone through with.

“Pretty close” she admitted

“We talking middle of the night disappearing or elaborate fake your own death?” Jay asked smirking.

Lexi returned his joking smirk. “Oh, full works fake my own death”

“Well I’m glad you decided to stay” he told her leaning in and kissing her forehead.

Jay closed his eyes and Lexi knew he was becoming tired. She watched him, contemplating everything that had gone on between them. He really was amazing to her, he always had been, he was always there when she needed him and even at times when she needed him and hadn’t realised it. He knew her better than she knew herself. She had thought about running away, after Kelly had been bought to the hospital, she thought her leaving would be best for everyone. She could protect everyone by leaving.

Jay was thankful she hadn’t left, but she didn’t know why? She wasn’t good for him, she caused him nothing but pain, physically and emotionally. She had cheated on him, for a start. Had she led Jay on? She had always kept him dangling on a string, flirting with him, teasing him, always made sure she was just out of arms reach to him, yet near enough to pull him closer when she needed him.

Then again, she felt like she had been there for him, in his times of need too.

Lexi had always known how Jay felt about her, had she played on that? Had she used it to her advantage? She had been selfish when it came to Jay and he deserved better. Lexi was going to be better for Jay.

“What’s on your mind?” Jay asked without opening his eyes. He knew her too well, he could practically hear the cogs turning over in her brain as she lay beside him.

“Did I lead you on?” she asked

Jay’s eyes shot open “What?” he sounded shocked like it was the most ridiculous question he had ever been asked.

“I’m serious” Lexi explained “even when I was with Kelly, I always flirted with you, kept you close, did I lead you on? Did I play on your feelings for me? Make you believe that there was a chance for us? Even when there wasn’t or shouldn’t have been?”

Jay sat up in the bed leaning on the elbow of his good arm, he pushed the switch above his bed turning on the room’s lights enabling him to see her properly. “Is that really what you think? That you made me believe we’d someday be together?”

Lexi sat up blinking as her eyes adjusted to the bright lights, she stared down at her legs through the blanket not having the guts to look him in the eye, the more she thought about it the more it made sense. Why else would he still want to around her? Be her friend? “Why else would you stick around all this time? Put up with all my shit?”

Jay pulled on her shoulder, asking her to look at him. She turned to face him. “Lex, I know everything’s a little messed up right now, everything’s unstable but you have to know I’d follow you through hell, as long as I can hold your hand.” He winked at her “Not because you led me on or any other reason than I want to, I want you in my life, whatever it takes.”

Lexi smiled, she felt like she could illuminate the whole of Chicago with the way he made her feel. “I’ve got you under my spell” Lexi said trying to ease the serious tone that the conversation had taken.

“Oh, that’s what I want you to think” Jay grinned at her “maybe you’re under my spell”

“If I am, I’d happily stay here forever” Lexi confirmed leaning towards him wanting to kiss him.

Lexi pulled away hearing the door open. A Nurse walked around the corner enquiring “Everything okay? I saw the light was on”

Lexi wanted to scream at her, everything would be fine if people would stop interrupting them!


	23. The Cheek

A week later Lexi walked in to Molly’s and went directly to the bar. Lexi had spent the last nine days at the hospital with Jay whilst he recovered. Sleeping on the cot in his room had not done her back any favours. Will had told her Jay would probably be released in a few days, so she had decided it was time for her to get the apartment above Molly’s cleaned and in some form of liveable space to allow her to move in.

Lexi planned to spend her days working on the apartment, cleaning, painting and whatever else needed doing, then spend her nights at the hospital with Jay. If the place wasn’t ready by the time Jay was released from the hospital she was going to stay with Burgess for a while. Kim had offered Lexi her spare room, Lexi had declined not wanting to get in the way of Kim and Adam, although Kim had assured her, she could stay if she needed to.

“Hey Gabby” Lexi smiled leaning over the bar to kiss her cheek. “Can I take a look at the apartment? I just want to see what I need to buy and what not”

Gabby smiled broadly “Yeah of course” Gabby told her throwing down the towel she had been using to clean glasses, “follow me”

Lexi walked the length of the bar following Gabby as she went through the corridor by the kitchen, turned right and stopped by a large locked door. Gabby used her keys and unlocked the door stepping over the threshold she explained. “You can access the apartment from the street through this door” Gabby pointed to the door to the left of her. “Saves you walking through the bar if you don’t want to”.

“Perfect”

There was about 10 foot of space at the bottom of a set of stairs that led up to the apartment. “This set of keys is for you” Gabby advised pressing the light switch on the wall illuminating the stairs and the small landing at the top.

“Great thank you” Lexi waited for Gabby to go up the stairs.

“Why don’t you go up first” Gabby suggested smiling handing Lexi the keys.

Lexi obliged and began climbing the timber stairs, they creaked as Lexi’s steps echoed in the small space. Lexi unlocked the door with Gabby standing eagerly behind her. Lexi stepped through the door and did not expect what she saw.

The apartment was clean, tidy, and decorated. The door they had entered through was in the middle of the apartment. To the left was a small bright kitchen with red accessories, a breakfast bar with two red leather stools split the kitchen from the living room. A grey three-seater sofa and a red arm chair faced a small rectangle coffee table and a 40-inch flat screen television that was mounted on the wall.

Lexi looked at Gabby for answers “it was Kelly’s idea” Gabby smiled “well we all chipped in, including your friends at the CPD but I decorated, if you don’t like anything I won’t be offended if you change it”

“It’s all gorgeous” Lexi turned right and walked towards the bedroom, she could see a double bed with a black wrought iron headboard with small fairy lights wrapped around with a night stand either side of the bed through the door.

Gabby walked in front of her leading her in to the bedroom “There’s no bath but Matt put in a new shower” she explained as Lexi followed her. A triple wardrobe stood by the large window of the bedroom beside a 5-draw dresser, the bathroom was to the left of the bed. Lexi poked her head through the door turning on the light. It looked like Matt had put an entire new bathroom suite in not just a shower. “It’s pretty sound proof up here when the doors are closed downstairs” Gabby assured her.

“I don’t know what to say” Lexi said sitting on the bed and running her hands over the soft fabric of the purple decorative blanket that was thrown over the bed.

“Kelly told me purple is your favourite colour” Gabby told her as she saw Lexi looking at the purple chair that sat in the corner of the room. “I saw that and thought you’d like it”

Lexi stood and hugged Gabby “thank you, it’s all beautiful”

“Told you she’d like it” they both turned to see Kelly leaning on the door of the bedroom.

“I’ll give you two a minute” Gabby told them walking around the bed towards the door.

“Thank you again for everything Gabby” Lexi called after her following her out of the bedroom. Lexi crossed the hall watching Gabby descend the stairs and walked in to the kitchen.

Kelly followed her “the fridge and cupboards are fully stocked” he told her taking a seat at the breakfast bar “figured you’d be sick of hospital food by now”

Lexi opened the fridge to check what he had bought, all her favourite foods were there, cans of Pepsi, bottles of Corona and the essentials. “Thank you” she told him pulling out two bottles of Corona and twisting off the caps. “For all of this” she elaborated pushing a bottle of beer across the surface to him.

“That’s what friends are for.” he smiled taking a swig of his beer.

Lexi took a long drink from her bottle, the cold liquid felt nice as it travelled down her throat, she had been drinking awful coffee for over a week now, it was nice to have something with flavour.

“How’s Jay?"

“Good, he should be out in a couple days, doctors said he’s making great progress, no lasting effects from the whole spleen thing, just got to wait a few more weeks before he can get his cast off”

“He good with you quitting and moving out?”

“What is this Kelly?” Lexi asked a little annoyed with his interrogation. “What’s with the surprise visit? The questions?”

“Wooooo” Kelly said surprised at her outburst. “I was just being friendly. But I can see I’ve hit a nerve.”

“Don’t give me that shit” Lexi advised him finishing off her beer. “You’ve obviously heard something and you’re just fishing for information, so just ask me whatever it is that you want to know.”

“Okay, I may have overheard a conversation about a photo of us in my apartment” Kelly offered. 

Lexi exhaled through her nose and clenched her jaw, the intelligence unit, more than likely Adam, he liked to gossip, must have been discussing the case or said photo at Molly’s and Kelly had overheard. Kelly didn’t need to know about the photo, Calvin had been following her at the time not Kelly. “And?” she questioned

“Did Jay see it?”

“Yes, but he already knew about it” Lexi crossed her arms over her chest, she didn’t want to be having this conversation with Kelly. “I told him”

Kelly nodded “Is that why you moved out? Are you and him not together anymore?”

“What me and Jay are or aren’t, is none of your business” he was beginning to piss her off and her tone of voice reflected that. Was he going to gloat? Be happy that he had split them up?

“I don’t wanna fight with you Lex” Kelly began getting up from the barstool and walking around to stand in front of her “I’m not trying to be an asshole but if I’m the reason you’re not together, that you’re not happy, I’ll tell him it was all me. I’ll tell him I made the first move”

Lexi shook her head, she felt a little bad for being angry with him, he was trying help, in his own way. “You don’t need to do that. I’ve already told him what happened, he knows everything.”

“I’m sorry” he told her softly. “I promise from now on, I’m going to respect your decision, you chose him, I get that. I’ll back off”

Lexi didn’t know what to say. She had chosen Jay over Kelly, not only because Kelly had cheated, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to trust him again, but because she loved Jay and always had.

“Thank you” Lexi smiled “I appreciate that”

Kelly reached in to his pocket and pulled out a silver chain, he held it up in front of Lexi allowing her to see it clearly, on the end of the chain was her engagement ring. “I want you to have it.” He told her.

“Kelly…” Lexi sighed and walked away from him standing in front of the sofa she turned to look at him again. He had just told her he was backing off, now he was giving her the engagement ring back. “Please don’t….”

Kelly interrupted her “Shay picked it out for you, it doesn’t have to mean what it meant before. You don’t even have to wear it, I just want you to have it” he placed it softly on the counter top and walked out of kitchen, she listened to him close the apartment door, descend the stairs and close the door at the bottom stairs before she moved to pick it up.

She examined it remembering the moment Kelly proposed when she was on the Ferris wheel with Shay. She smiled at the memory then walked to the bedroom. She walked to the bed and hooked the chain over the middle post of the headboard.

* * *

  **Two days later.**

“There she is” Jay smiled broadly watching Lexi enter his hospital room. He sat on the edge of his hospital bed, his left arm still in its cast resting on his leg. Will stood in front of him and smiled at Lexi too.

“Wow I’m impressed you actually managed to dress yourself.” Lexi joked seeing Jay was dressed and ready to go.

“He told me he’s been faking it this whole time” Will contributed to her joke. “He just liked you dressing him”

“More importantly, undressing me” Jay winked at her. Nothing had happened between Jay and Lexi whilst he had been in the hospital, their relationship had been strictly platonic, but they had found their flirty banter again.

Lexi laughed at them both, the Halstead brothers were trouble when they were together. “So, is he all clear to go?” Lexi asked.

Will nodded. “Yes, please, get him out of here. He has all his medications and instructions.”

Jay stood from the bed and hugged his brother. “Thanks for everything bro” Jay told him patting his back as he broke the embrace.

“I’ll speak to you later” Will told them leaving the room.

“Ready?” Lexi asked.

“I’m so ready to get out of here” He sighed loudly “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed. Although kind of sad I won’t be waking up next to you”

_Well just say the word and that can change –_ Lexi thought but didn’t say aloud, she didn’t want to force him to make any decisions. “Just think of all the extra room you’ll have” She smiled

“No using my bathroom to dry your clean underwear” Jay agreed walking closer to her.

“No fighting for the covers”

“I didn’t mind that so much” he told her putting his arms around her waist and pulling her in to him “it meant I got to do this”

Lexi put her arms around his neck and cuddled him. She wanted to tell him that she missed him already. They hadn’t spent a day apart since he had been in the hospital, she had spent every night with him, only left to do a few hours at Molly’s then returned to him, it wasn’t as if she was never going to see him again but she already missed lying with him on the hospital bed watching movies on her laptop, playing board games to pass the time, walking the corridors in the middle of the night when they couldn’t sleep, talking about everything and nothing at the same time.

The sound of someone making siren noises broke them apart laughing as they did. “Your carriage awaits Sir” Adam entered pushing a wheel chair too fast and sliding it to a halt as if he had done a handbrake turn in a car.

“I am not getting in that” Jay laughed shaking his head.

“Well if you won’t take it” Lexi said picking up Jay’s bag from the bed “I will” she said sitting in the wheelchair and putting the bag on her lap.

“Hold on tight” Adam said turning the chair round and running out the door with her, Jay followed laughing as Lexi told Adam to slow down before he crashed.

* * *

Jay sat slumped on his sofa. He had been home from the hospital for a few hours. Lexi had taken him home, she helped him unpack his bag and get settled back in. When he had assured her, he didn’t need anything else she had left letting him get some rest, he hadn’t wanted her to leave but he didn’t want her to feel like she had to stay.

Lexi had left, and Jay had lay on his bed for a moment, happy to be home, he hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but he woke three hours later. The apartment was so quiet, he didn’t like it, it didn’t feel right without Lexi there.

Jay had taken a shower, put a pair of grey sweat pants on and then sat on the sofa, watching the tv without watching it. He picked his phone up from the coffee table and typed a message to Lexi.

**Jay:** Daytime tv sucks!

**Lexi** : Ha-ha, read a book. Expand you mind.   

Jay smirked at his phone, he looked towards the few books on his shelf and grinned as he typed his reply.

**Jay:**  The only books here I haven’t read are your copies of 50 Shades of Grey.

**Lexi:** Read it, you might learn a thing or two. Lol *kissing face emoji*

**Jay:** I never heard any complaints from you. *winky face emoji*

**Lexi:** Lol. No complaints here. 50 Shades of Halstead *winky face emoji*

**Jay:** Knew it, Mr Grey ain’t got shit on me!

He waited for a reply and got nothing, he put his phone back on the coffee table and stood to get a drink from the kitchen.

He poured himself a glass of orange juice, he really wanted a beer but wasn’t allowed to have any alcohol with the pain meds and antibiotics he was taking. Jay heard keys rattling in his front door, he walked to the hallway and looked left to the front door as it opened to reveal Lexi with a pizza box in hand. “Pizza, Game of Thrones boxset and alcohol-free beer” she told him smiling holding up a six pack of beer bottles.

Jay smiled at her, she knew him too well. He was happy to see her, he had missed her, it had only been a few hours, but he had really missed her. “Alcohol free beer sounds disgusting”

“You’ll have to let me know” she smirked closing the door. “I’ll be drinking the actual beer in your fridge” she confessed walking through in to the living room.

* * *

Lexi sat on the end of Jay’s sofa with Jay lying down his head in her lap, his legs over the sofa. The credits of the fifth episode of Game of Thrones began rolling up the screen. Lexi stretched her back, putting her arms above her head, her shoulders cracked audibly. “Ow” she groaned. “I swear my back will never recover from that hospital camp bed.”

Jay sat up on the sofa reminding her, “I did tell you to come back and stay here”. After spending a few nights in the hospital Jay had tried to convince Lexi to go to his apartment to get a real night’s rest. He knew she wasn’t sleeping well in the bed Chicago Med had provided but being Lexi and being stubborn she had refused to leave him.

It wasn’t only that she didn’t want to leave him, it was also because she felt a little weird staying in his apartment, without him, and when they weren’t a couple.

“I cannot wait to sleep in a normal bed” Lexi told him standing up and pushing the stop button on the DVD player remote control.

Jay stood up beside her. “There’s a perfectly good bed just in there” he pointed towards his bedroom. “You know you don’t have to go, you can stay, spend the night”

Lexi knew what he was implying. She knew if she stayed, they would end up in bed together, or worse they wouldn’t end up in bed together and it would just confuse the already complicated situation they were in. She didn’t want to force anything, if something were to happen between them, she wanted it to happen naturally. She didn’t want to put pressure on either of them.

Lexi smiled at him then walked through his apartment towards the front door. “Do not watch any episodes without me!” She warned.

“I promise I’ll wait for you” he told her following her to the door. “Just don’t make me wait too long” he kissed her right cheek.

_AAARRRGGGHHH! The cheek Jay, really? The cheek? What am I your sister? –_ Lexi thought but didn’t air her opinions. She wanted to kiss him, she looked from his eyes to lips and wet her lips a little, then thought better of it. Kissing him wasn’t the right thing to do, it wasn’t the right time. She knew the image of her kissing Kelly was still fresh in his mind and she feared if she kissed him, he would reject her. Lexi pulled her gaze from his lips and turned to open the door telling him. “I have a shift at Molly’s tomorrow, but I’ll be finished at 8”  

He held the door open as she crossed the threshold. “It’s a date”

It was progress she supposed. “Night Jay” she turned and walked towards the stairs.

“Night Lex” he closed the door and leant against it looking up at the ceiling. “Really Jay, the cheek!” he spoke aloud to himself in his empty apartment “You should have just kissed her” he sighed shaking his head at his own stupid behaviour.  


	24. Girl's Night

The next morning, Jay knocked on Lexi’s door and waited for her to answer. He heard the lock disengage then Lexi stood staring at him, squinting at the bright light of the sun behind him “Morning” Jay said chirpily.

“Jay, it’s not even eight a.m.” Lexi said running her hands over her face trying to wake herself up.

“I know” he said holding up the plastic bag he carried that contained breakfast “but I bought pancakes from Jerry’s” Jay smiled sweetly at her.

“You’re lucky your pretty” she groaned tiredly widening the door for him to enter “you know I’m not a morning person” Jay chuckled as he crossed the threshold kissing her head as he passed to walk up the stairs.

Lexi locked the door and followed him. “What’s with the early morning visit?”

“I missed you” Jay said walking in to the kitchen and placing the bag on the counter top.

Lexi chuckled pouring them both a cup of coffee as Jay took a seat at the breakfast bar. “I literally left you less than eight hours ago”

“I can take my pancakes and go, if you want?” Jay offered jokingly pointing towards the door as Lexi passed him his coffee.

“Next time can you miss me after nine a.m.”

Jay shook his head “nope, this is your punishment for moving out on me! I will be waking you up early every day and annoying the hell out of you”

“Seeing your handsome face and pancakes is a punishment I will gladly take.” Lexi winked and pinched his cheek like an over-zealous auntie at Christmas would, before sitting beside him.

They ate breakfast in relative silence, just enjoying being in each other’s company.

Jay stood from his stool and took his used mug, knife and fork to the sink. “This place is great” he said looking around, it was the first time he was seeing her apartment. He walked across the hall towards the bedroom to get a good look, “Gabby did a nice job decorating” he called back.

Lexi took her used cutlery to the sink “I know, I couldn’t have done a better job myself” Lexi explained beginning to wash the dirty utensils. “Do you like the tiles in the bathroom?” she asked as she heard Jay walk back across the hall. He didn’t respond so she turned to face him drying her hands on a towel.

Jay stood staring at her, he held up the chain with her engagement ring dangling on the end. Lexi had totally forgotten that it had been hanging on her bed. “It’s not what you think” Lexi said throwing the towel on to the counter.

“I don’t think you know what I’m thinking” Jay began, he looked angry and hurt at the same time. “I thought you gave it back to him?”

“I did” Lexi confirmed “but he gave it back, because…”

Jay interrupted her “Am I standing in the way?” Lexi frowned not understanding his question. “When I asked you why you stopped yourself from kissing him you said it was because you didn’t want to do to me what he did to you, you didn’t want to be a cheater, but you didn’t say it was because you didn’t want to kiss him so tell me do you still want him? Am I standing in the way of what you want? Do you feel like you owe me something? That you can’t walk away?”

Lexi shook her head “No” she hated when he spoke to her that way, she knew she deserved it, yet it always stung when Jay was disappointed in her or hurting because of her.

“Then help me understand this Lex, cause from where I’m standing it seems like you don’t know what you want.”

“I want you Jay” she spoke softly, she felt like she was losing him. Had she already lost him? Lexi sighed and blinked back tears. “I want to be with you, I’ve always wanted you, in some way or another, it’s always been you. I have that ring because Shay chose it, no other reason.”

Jay exhaled sharply, he walked slowly and sat back on the stool he had been sat in moments before. He sat staring at the engagement ring.

Lexi wiped a silent tear from her cheek. “This is exactly what I was afraid of” she told him making him look up at her. “I knew something would happen, that you’d finally see sense. Finally see I’m not good for you and I would lose you”

“You haven’t lost me” Jay assured her, “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere, I just need a minute to process.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be here.” Lexi suggested. “maybe you should walk away, no one would blame you. Hell, I left Kelly for the same reason. Since we got back from the cabin, I’ve done nothing but cause you hurt physically and emotionally. I love you Jay more than I realised I could love anyone but like you said maybe that’s not enough.”

“it is enough, I never should have said that” He told her walking to her and standing in front of her. “it is enough Lex.” He took her hands in his and rested their entangled hands on his chest over his heart. “Since the day I met you, you’re all I’ve wanted and the short time I had you for isn’t enough. Can we just start fresh?”

Lexi sighed “I think we’ve been through too much to start again”

“Okay, let’s just take it slow, one day at a time” Jay suggested “cause I’m all in Lexi, all the way, whatever it takes”

He had done it again, made her feel so much better with just a few words. “One day at a time” Lexi agreed smiling at him.

“I guess that means I should cancel all the dates I made with the nurses” Jay smirked as Lexi pushed him away from her rolling her eyes.

* * *

**A few weeks later.**

Jay and Lexi sat opposite each other in a booth at Jerry’s, their favourite breakfast diner. They had met for breakfast every morning since Jay had been out of the hospital and always sat in the same booth. Lexi was trying to keep a routine, easier for the Chameleon and she hoped Calvin, to follow her. Calvin had been quiet since he put both Jay and Kelly in the hospital.

Lexi had been to the office the previous day to give Voight an update from the Chameleon. The update was a simple, there’s no update, the Chameleon had some promising leads, but Calvin was laying low. The Chameleon presumed Kelly had injured him and Calvin was keeping quiet whilst he recovered.

Jay had been back at work on light desk duties for two weeks but today was a bit of a celebration, Jay had finally had his cast removed. They had ordered pancakes, bacon and waffles, they drank coffee whilst they waited.

“It was harder being in the office than I thought” Lexi told Jay. She had paused when she saw her empty desk, for the first time realising it could soon be occupied by someone else, someone that could potentially become Jay’s partner.

“I’m sure if you just say the word Voight would give you your badge back” Jay told her.

Lexi shook her head “I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to wear it again”.

“Why?” Jay asked “help me understand this, I don’t really know why you took it off in the first place. We never really talked about it”

Lexi leant over the table towards him speaking a little quieter. “We took an oath, right? To protect and serve, hold people accountable for their actions, hold myself accountable”

Jay nodded “all of that” he agreed

“The things I’m going to do, the things I have to do and the things I want to do, go against all of that” Lexi stopped speaking and sat back as the waitress delivered their breakfast to the table. Jay and Lexi smiled at her and Jay thanked the waitress. “I know…” Lexi began again looking around before she said the next word, choosing her words carefully because of potentially prying ears “ending Calvin isn’t going to be some quick fix, like my world will just fall back in to place.” Lexi sighed as Jay reached over the table put his hand over hers. “But it will be a start, I can stop being afraid, I can stop worrying about the next attack, scared that the next encounter will be a fatal one. Finishing it once and for all is the only way I know I can protect everyone”

“Is that why you moved out? Cause you think it will protect me?”

Lexi smiled across the table at him. “That and to make you miss me”

Jay laughed “I’m not even mad that it’s totally working” Jay wanted to lean over and kiss her, it would have been the perfect time, but Lexi broke their eye contact looking down at her phone as it chimed and vibrated on the table. He watched her as she read the message she had received, the smile remained on her face, but Jay knew it was a forced smile, she was hiding her emotions as best she could. “Everything okay?” he asked

“Yeah” Lexi sighed making the smile more genuine as she passed Jay her phone allowing him to read the message. The message read: ‘You’re being watched’, the sender was saved as “Cam”, Jay knew it must have been short for Chi-town Chameleon and that the message meant Calvin was watching them.

Jay gave Lexi her phone back and tried his hardest not to look around as he began to eat his breakfast. “Distract me please?” Lexi asked putting a forkful of pancake and bacon in to her mouth.

Jay smirked, if he showed he wasn’t worried maybe it would help her keep calm. “So, it’s girls’ night tonight, right?” Lexi nodded chewing her food. “So, what does girls night involve? A sophisticated meal, a few glasses of wine, discussion about politics and bed by 10?” Jay smirked

“Oh totally” Lexi laughed “there will one hundred percent be absolutely no shots or dancing involved”

“Sounds completely boring. Let me know if you need me to rescue you at any point”

“Don’t worry, I’ll probably drunk dial you”

“And I promise I will answer”

* * *

Gabby, Lexi, Kim and Sylvie were enjoying their girl’s night. They had been for dinner then Kim had tried to convince them to go to a ‘hot new club’ in town. When Sylvie mentioned she knew the owner of the club, Mike, and could probably get them in for free, the decision was made.

They sat in the large booth Mike had given them in the elevated VIP section. Mike had spent the night whispering sweet nothings to Sylvie though she didn’t seem to mind, smiling and touching his arm. Mike was clearly trying to impress her and had given them free bottles of champagne.

Gabby, Kim and Lexi had been dancing in the VIP area, but the music wasn’t as loud up there so had decided to go down to the dancefloor. They had left Sylvie and Mike at the booth talking.

After about an hour of dancing Lexi had needed something other than champagne to drink so had gone back to the VIP area leaving Gabby and Kim on the dance floor. Lexi had got a whiskey with coke and stood looking over the balcony watching Gabby and Kim dancing below. Lexi needed a breather, she would finish her drink then go and join them. She had only been standing there a few minutes before a guy from another VIP booth had approached her and began talking to her.

He introduced himself as Tom, he was tall, quite muscular with jet black curly hair, he had perfect white teeth and smiled often to show them off. He had a kind of stereotypical frat boy vibe to him.

Lexi was being polite and making conversation with him, she didn’t want to completely dismiss him. He seemed to be a nice guy, which was a rarity, she didn’t want to hurt his feeling’s, but she was making it clear she wasn’t interested. She had lied and casually mentioned she had a boyfriend, which had been a mistake, this led him to begin telling her all about his ex, Samantha.

Lexi had tried to get Sylvie’s attention to no avail, she was still locked in a passionate kissing session with Mike. Gabby and Kim were too busy dancing and enjoying themselves. Lexi nodded and smiled at Tom agreeing with whatever he had just said when Lexi felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

“Sorry” she said retrieving her phone and reading the message.

**Jay:** You look…WOW *heart eyes emoji*

Lexi was wearing black skin-tight jeans, with a tight black off the shoulder see through lace top that she had tucked in to her jeans, and sparkly silver mesh peep toe stilettos. She did look good, but how could he see her?

Lexi replied to his message as Tom continued to tell her about his ex-girlfriend seemingly oblivious to the fact that Lexi was no longer paying attention to him.

**Lexi:** You stalking me? Should I call the cops? *police man emoji*

**Jay:** You in that outfit is criminal I should be arresting you.

**Lexi:** Come get me then *winky face emoji*

**Jay:** I left my cuffs at home. You’d have to come back to my place and ditch the frat boy. 

Lexi looked around, he must have been in the club to know what Tom looked like and what she was wearing. She looked down to the dancefloor and found the boys had crashed girl’s night. Gabby and Kim had now been joined by Adam, Matt, and Kevin. Jay was stood a few feet away from them looking up at her. He winked and waved at her.

“Tom it was nice to meet you, but my boyfriend is here, I have to go” she lied walking around him not giving him a chance to respond. Jay wasn’t her boyfriend, they hadn’t even kissed since he had left the hospital.

Lexi descended the stairs as Jay walked towards her meeting her at the bottom. “You ditched the frat boy.” He stated the obvious.  

“I did. I wanted to show I’m cooperating with my arrest.” Lexi said holding her hands up. 

Jay took her hands and pulled her in to him, putting his arms around her waist and resting his hands on her ass. “So, no resisting? You’ll come quietly then?” Jay asked raising his eyebrows suggestively at her as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Well I can’t promise that” she smirked leaning in to kiss him as he leaned in to her.


	25. Friends With Benefits

Jay stood in the kitchen of the Intelligence Unit, making himself a coffee, he poured some sugar in to his cup and then turned leaning on the counter whilst yawning. The yawn made him smile, he was tired for a very good reason. He took his phone from his pocket and sent a message to Lexi.  

**Jay:** *yawning face emoji* So tired. If I fall asleep at my desk, I’m telling Voight it’s your fault!

It wasn’t the message he wanted to send. He wanted to ask where she had disappeared to? They had gone back to his place after the club and spent the night together, he had woken up to find her gone. He decided that was a conversation he wanted to have face to face.

**Lexi:** What did I do? *shocked face emoji*

Jay replied as he walked slowly back to his desk.

**Jay:** You kept me UP, all night.

**Lexi:** Want me to let you sleep next time?*winky face emoji*

**Jay:**   Next time?

**Lexi:** Well I still owe you for not making my arrest official, right?

**Jay:** That’s right you do.

**Lexi:** Just tell me what I have to do to pay you back *winky face emoji*

**Jay:** it’s kind of hard to explain. But I’d be happy to demonstrate.

Jay looked up at the sound of footsteps ascending the stairs, he looked to see Trudy walking up followed by Lexi who smirked at him.

“Hey gang, look who I found wondering around” Trudy announced getting to the top of the stairs.

Kim, Adam, Jay and Kevin stood and hugged Lexi in turn before returning to their desks. Antonio was on the phone Lexi walked to him and fist bumped him. Olinsky and Voight were in Voight’s office with the door closed. Trudy announced she had to get back to the desk hugging Lexi before walking away.

“So, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Adam asked leaning back in his chair.

“Not a social visit, I’m here to pick up Hank” Lexi explained looking through the window and waving at Voight to let him know she was there. He held up a finger to tell her to give him a minute.

“Meeting your Chameleon friend?” Adam enquired, Lexi nodded, “maybe he knows what rock Calvin has crawled under.” Calvin hadn’t surfaced since he had attacked Kelly.

“Again, the Chameleon is neither he nor a she” Burgess reminded him. Lexi chuckled at her.

“Coffee?” Jay offered standing up and looking at Lexi, he wanted to get her alone.

“Didn’t you just make one?” Adam pointed out giving Jay a mischievous smile.

“I’ll take one” Burgess announced holding up her empty mug smiling sweetly.

“Me two” Kevin added doing the same.

“Me three if your making one buddy” Adam grinned as Jay collected the empty mugs from his colleagues before following Lexi to the kitchen.

Jay lined up the mugs on the counter as Lexi took the cream from the fridge and placed it beside the mugs. “I missed you this morning” Jay told her quietly turning his back to the door shielding themselves from their nosey colleagues. “I woke up and you were gone”

Lexi stood in front of him. “I didn’t wanna outstay my welcome, I figured it was a one-night kind of thing.”

Jay put his arms over his chest as if he was trying to shield his body from her “I feel so used!” Jay joked pretending to look shocked “I feel like a piece of meat, used for my body! I have a mind too you know” They both laughed whole heartedly. “Seriously, you could never outstay your welcome!”

Lexi nodded, “I know but we had fun last night, right?”

“Yeah” he said stepping closer to her and putting his arm around her waist.

Lexi rested her arm across his shoulder stepping closer to him. “So, no pressure, let’s just have a bit of fun for a while” Lexi offered. “see what happens?”

“Friends with benefits?” Jay asked suggestively biting his lip a little.

“Lots and lots of benefits” Lexi told him moving in to kiss him, the sound of Voight’s office door opening broke them apart quickly. Jay quickly beginning to pour the coffee and Lexi sliding away from him.  

“Lexi you ready” Voight stated rather than asked as he passed the kitchen door.  

“Yep” Lexi called after him walking towards the door.

“To be continued” Jay commented quietly.

“And continued and continued and continued” Lexi told him turning and walking backwards winking at him. Jay grinned going back to the coffee making task.

* * *

Lexi sat in the passenger seat of Voight’s truck, they were parked up by the water, the same place they always met with the Chameleon, who they were waiting for.

Voight stared out of the windscreen, Lexi tapped her finger nervously against the glass of the window. The Chameleon was late, they were never late. Lexi was full of nervous energy she needed to distract herself. “So, I got a paycheque last week” Lexi said looking over at Voight to gauge his reaction. Voight expression remained its usual intense focused appearance. She shouldn’t have received a paycheque, she had resigned. “When I called to question it, they told me they had me down as an extended leave of absence following a bereavement”

“You know the white shirts struggle to get anything right”

“Or someone filed the wrong paperwork” Lexi suggested as a car approached them.

“You know me, I’m not the best with paperwork either” Voight told her smiling sarcastically winding down the window as the car pulled up beside them.  

“My two favourite Detective’s” The Chameleon greeted them turning off the car’s engine. She was wearing her usual baseball cap and sunglasses. Lexi had only ever seen her full face once. She was a pretty brunette woman, petite yet strong, she was pretty in the sense you would smile at her in the street but not so pretty anyone would look twice at her. The Chameleon was a fitting name for her, she was inconspicuous, noticeable yet forgettable.

“Give me something good Cam” Lexi said leaning round Voight enabling her to see in to the other vehicle.

“So, I did some digging, the guy helping Poe, the one who attacked your Fiancé or ex whatever he is,” Cam began “is a Doctor, used to be a paramedic, he helped Poe when he was injured.”

“You got a name?” Hank asked

“No need” Cam smiled “It’s taken care of, he’ll be having a terribly fatal single vehicle car accident very shortly”   

“And Poe” Lexi asked, “any news on that front?”

“Two days” The Chameleon responded “maybe less and he’ll be where we arranged. I will pick you up and take you there. Be ready to go as soon as you get my call.”

“Okay” Lexi said.

“Everything will be in place, everything you asked for” Cam advised “Pack two days’ worth of clothes” Lexi nodded as Cam started the car engine, the message had been delivered it was time to leave.

“Wait” Lexi called “I need this said in front of Hank just so we’re all clear” Cam switched off the engine again ready to listen. “When we’re there, I want you to take a photo of me with him” Lexi began

“What? What the hell for?” Voight interrupted, Lexi was willing incriminating herself in a soon to be murder.

“I trust you Cam” Lexi continued stating the truth. She did trust the Chameleon to not hold anything against her, but she also wanted to make sure Cam had assurances “You take a picture and you keep it. So, you know none of this can come back on you, if anything happens you have the proof it was all me. I don’t want you caught up in this either.” Cam had done Lexi a favour, it was a little crazy to want to protect an assassin, but Cam had done more good for Lexi as a criminal informant than she would have done behind bars. This was about Calvin and Lexi, no one else.

“Appreciate the sentiment” Cam smiled “But no need, we made a deal. I owe you for saving my life, I do this, I dispose of the body when your done and we’re even, we’re all good” Cam started the car’s engine whilst winding up the window and drove away.

Voight started the engine and began to drive as well. “When I get the call” Lexi began “I’ll bring my cell phone to you” Voight nodded, it made sense, if there was ever an investigation and her phone was ever traced it would show her location as being with him. He would cover for her, make up whatever story was needed at the time.

“And Halstead?” Voight asked, “What’s the play there?”

“If I’m with him when I get the call, I’ll think of something. If I’m not, I’ll just explain when I get back.”

“He won’t let it go that easily” Voight predicted pulling on to the main road heading back to the district.

“Then you’ll have to stall him” Lexi looked out of the window hoping it would be that simple.


	26. Positive or Negative

Jay sat at a table in Molly’s with Adam, Kevin and Will. The bar had been busy, the Chicago Cubs had played a game that had finished an hour ago, so the crowd was beginning to dissipate. “Your round buddy” Adam said slapping Jay on the back.

Jay finished the last of his own beer and walked to the bar. “Hey beautiful” He said to Lexi as she walked to serve him on the other side of the bar.

“Hey handsome, another round?”

“Yes please” he leant on the bar and watched her begin to pour the drinks. “What time do you get off?”

Lexi looked up at the clock “Thirty minutes” she told him placing two beers on a tray in front of him.

“Wanna join us for a drink?” he asked as she placed the other two beers on the tray for him.

“Thanks, but I have a hot date with my bed!” Lexi grinned as she took Jay’s money.

Jay took the drinks to the table and dished them out, taking his seat again he watched Lexi as she served the next customer. He laughed watching her try to stifle a yawn pouring a gin and tonic.

He took his phone from his pocket and sent her a message.

**Jay:** Late night last night? *yawning face emoji* x

Jay pressed send and watched her take her phone from her pocket, she smiled as he watched her type her reply.

Lexi pressed send and looked over at Jay, winking at him when she made eye contact. He looked down at his phone and read her reply.

**Lexi:** It was girls’ night, I danced, I drank, and I got arrested! *winky face emoji* x

Jay gazed up at her, smiling his boyish grin. He watched Gabby approach Lexi, they had a short conversation ending with Lexi kissing Gabby on the cheek, then she began typing on her phone again.

**Lexi:** Bonus! Let out of school early! *fist bump emoji* x

Jay read the message and looked up to find Lexi gone.

**Jay:** Need me to come tuck you in?

Jay watched his screen for the tell-tale speech bubble to tell him she was typing a reply, but nothing appeared. He locked his phone and put it on the table, ready to engage in the conversation the boys were having about the game they had just watched.

Jay’s phone chimed alerting him to a new message, but Adam grabbed it before Jay could. “Should have guessed” Adam said reading Lexi’s name on the screen. “What’s your passcode?”

Jay laughed “not a chance” drinking his beer a little smugly, Adam was never getting access to his phone.

“Try four, four, eight, eight” Will suggested. Jay’s smile dropped, and he immediately tried grabbing for his phone, only to be stopped by Will grabbing his arms.

Adam input the suggested code and clicked on the unread message “DAMN!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide looking at the screen. “Man, you need to get your ass upstairs” Adam told him handing him his phone back.

Jay checked the screen to see a selfie of Lexi, sat on her bed, a slight peep of the purple lace bra she wore. The caption read ‘Lock the door on your way up’. “Night guys” Jay said taking one last sip of his beer, grabbing his jacket he walked towards Lexi’s apartment door.

“Go get her tiger” Adam called after Jay laughing.

* * *

Jay walked across Lexi’s apartment in his boxer shorts. He looked in the fridge and cupboards for something to eat, they had worked up an appetite. He found peanut butter ice cream in the freezer, he took off the lid and found a spoon in the draw. He pulled himself up on to the counter top and began eating the ice cream as he heard Lexi’s feet pad across the wooden floor. Jay watched Lexi as she entered the kitchen wearing his t-shirt and her underwear. “Hey” Jay furrowed his brow at her “who said you could get dressed?” he asked as she made herself a glass of water.

Lexi took a sip of her water watching him the whole time. “You left me, I got cold” she said sauntering over to him and taking the spoon from him. Lexi had a spoonful of ice cream them gave him the spoon back.

“I needed to refuel” he told her licking melting ice cream from the spoon. Lexi leant against the countertop opposite him and held her hand out for the ice cream. Jay tapped his lips with the spoon indicating he wanted a kiss before giving up his ice cream. Lexi obliged standing in front of him, his legs either side of her. She kissed him slowly, before pulling away and stealing the ice cream from him in one motion.

Lexi turned around putting her back to Jay as she ate the ice cream. He kissed the top of her shoulder before putting his arms around her neck and leaning forward in to her. Lexi fed him some ice cream over her shoulder. “So, I’ve been thinking” Jay began

“Sounds serious” Lexi said scraping the bottom of the ice cream tub to get the last remaining mouthful out.

“What’s your plan for when all this Calvin stuff is over?” He enquired, “do you plan on working at Molly’s forever?”

Lexi shook her head putting the last spoonful of ice cream in her mouth “No. I’ve been looking in to a couple things”

“Do you have to be in Chicago to do those things?”

Lexi turn around in his arms wanting to look in to his eyes, she placed her hands on his bare legs. “I guess not, why?” she furrowed her brow at him not sure where this conversation was headed.

“What do you think about getting out of Chicago? I don’t mean for a vacation I mean permanently. Just you and me, anywhere but here.” He asked moving his arms from around her neck to rest his hands on her hips.

“Really?” Lexi asked him “What about work? And Will is here?”

“You said it at the cabin, and I stopped you because I didn’t want you to leave me. But I don’t care where we are if we’re together” Jay began to rant, he was nervous about asking her to leave with him, he was speaking quickly trying to get his point across before she could say no. “We don’t have to go far, we can just put a few hours between us and the city, so we can visit. I know you need to wrap up the Calvin business but…”

Lexi put her finger on his lips to stop him from ranting. “The whole Calvin situation may be over sooner than you think”

Jay nodded “Good”

“Are you sure?” she asked “have you really thought this through? You know what you’d be giving up”

“Yes” he smiled “I can be a cop anywhere, I just want to be with you and give us the best chance of being happy”

“Hang on, I thought we agreed to no pressure? Friends with benefits”

“You’re not seeing anyone else, right?” Jay asked Lexi shook her head, no, “and neither am I and I don’t want to so let’s just call this what it is”

“Okay, what is this apart from amazing sex obviously?” Lexi questioned grinning at him.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. “Are you really going to make me say it?”

“Uh huh”

Jay shook his head laughing at her. “Fine. Lexi Shay, I love you, will you give me the greatest honour of being my girlfriend?”

Lexi pretended to examine her nails “Oh I don’t know about that, maybe I should think about it, keep my options open.”

“Your hilarious” he said leaning in and kissing her again. “We don’t have to decide right now, I’m just putting it out there, it’s an option”

* * *

**Two days later.**

Gabby answered the knock on the door to find Lexi shuffling from foot to foot “Did you get it?” Lexi asked

“Yes” Gabby said ushering her through the door. Lexi stopped part way in to the apartment looking around nervously only now realising Matt may have been there. “Matt’s not here” she assured her. Lexi didn’t move, she didn’t know what to do with herself. “Bathroom go” Gabby ordered pointing the way.

Lexi walked following the directions Gabby gave her to the bathroom. Lexi entered and sat on the edge of the bath. “Pee in the cup” Gabby picked up the plastic beaker that was sat on sink ready to be used. “Put the white tab in, then we wait” Gabby instructed.

Lexi sighed as Gabby backed out of the bathroom and closed the door. Lexi did as Gabby had instructed putting the plastic cup back on the sink edge when she was done. Lexi washed her hands in the sink and looked at herself in the mirror above.  
  
“I’m right here” Gabby reassured from behind the closed door. Lexi was so thankful that Gabby was there. She didn’t want to be doing this alone. Lexi had asked Gabby to get a pregnancy test from the hospital, it was more reliable than ones you could buy at the drug store. Lexi opened the bathroom door and walked to join Gabby who was stood leaning against the wall facing the bathroom door.  They both stood staring at the cup through the open door.

“I’m so stupid” Lexi began “how could I be so stupid?”

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself” Gabby told her walking in to the bathroom and putting the little white piece of paper in to the cup. Gabby joined Lexi against the wall again. “You’ve had a crazy couple of months, it’s easy to forget to take a pill and totally understandable after what you’ve been through”

Lexi slid down the wall and sat on the floor. “I don’t know what I’ll do if its positive.”

Gabby sat beside her. “I have to ask.” She started “If it is positive, is it likely to be Jay’s or Kelly’s?”

Lexi put her head back on the wall, her elbows on her knees as she ran her hands over her hair. “I have no idea, there’s literally like four weeks between them both.” Lexi looked at her “I told you, I’m so stupid” she began to cry hanging her head.

“Oh Lex” Gabby said running Lexi’s back trying to reassure her. “I mean it might not even be positive. You could just be late because of the stress”. They sat for a few more minutes. “Want me to go check?” Gabby offered.

Lexi exhaled deeply and stood up, “do it” Lexi nodded wiping her tear stained cheeks. She was never going to be ready to find out, she just had to bite the bullet and find out. 

Gabby entered the bathroom and checked the stick. She turned and looked at Lexi smiling. “Negative”

“What?” Lexi asked walking towards her “are you sure?” she asked looking at the little white stick.

“Yes, I’m sure” Gabby told her excitedly “I’m a paramedic, I know how to read a pregnancy test”

“Gabriela Dawson I could kiss you!” Lexi said grabbing her by the arms and kissing her cheek with a little too much enthusiasm.

They both laughed a little hysterically and started jumping up and down in the bathroom. “Wine?” Gabby offered.

“Oh god, yes” Lexi accepted following Gabby out of the bathroom.  

* * *

Lexi sat at Gabby’s breakfast bar with a glass of wine, Gabby stood on the other side holding her glass of wine. “Before we’ve had too many of these” Lexi said holding up her glass of wine “I need to ask another favour, but you can’t ask any questions” 

“Plausible deniability?” Gabby asked.

Lexi sometimes forgot she was a cop’s sister, she wasn’t stupid. “Exactly” she smiled “Can you get more medical supplies without getting in to trouble?”

Gabby didn’t hesitate “Of course, I already have some stuff stashed away. What do you need?”

“Nothing in particular, just some basic supplies.”

Gabby nodded “whatever you need, whenever you need it, I’m just a call away. But I won’t help him” Gabby advised looking sternly at Lexi. “if that’s what it’s for, if it’s to help keep the monster that killed Shay alive, that’s one thing I won’t do”

Lexi shook her head “It’s not for that, I promise. It’s just a kind of worst-case scenario”

“Okay, not a problem” Gabby said crossing the kitchen and clinking her glass against Lexi’s.

Lexi took a long pull on the red wine in her glass and then sighed. “I feel like I could explode from relief” Lexi told her. Lexi was relieved she wasn’t pregnant, and Gabby had agreed to help her.  

Gabby chucked “please don’t, that would be messy to clean up”

“What would be messy to clean up?” Matt asked entering the kitchen followed by Kelly. Gabby and Lexi both laughed without answering.

“Hey” Kelly greeted them both “What joke did we miss?”

“Oh, just my stupidity not catching up with me” Lexi remarked taking the last sip of her wine and standing up from her chair. 

Kelly furrowed his brow at her not understanding. “Okay, care to elaborate?”

“Nope” Lexi said walking around the kitchen to put her glass in the sink. Lexi kissed Gabby’s cheek. “Thank you for everything again”

“Anytime” Gabby told her as Lexi walked to kiss Matt on the cheek to say goodbye. “Maybe you should go buy a lotto ticket” Gabby smirked at Lexi.

Lexi laughed “you know I might just go do that” she agreed. “Can I talk to you outside?” Lexi asked as she passed Kelly.

“Sure” he agreed “I’ll be back in a minute” he told Matt and Gabby before following Lexi through the house.

* * *

Lexi unlocked her car as she approached and opened the driver door. “Get in” Lexi told Kelly motioning towards the passenger side.

Kelly sat in the passenger seat, as soon as both car doors were closed Lexi asked, “Do you still own your Grandfather’s old cabin by the lake?”

Kelly nodded “yeah, I gave up trying to restore it a while ago”

“Does it still have the old boat house?”

“Yes” Kelly said slowly wondering where this conversation was heading. “If it’s still standing”

“Can I borrow it?”

“What’s this about?” Kelly queried “It’s not exactly a vacation spot so I know you’re not asking to borrow it for that so what do you need it for?”

Lexi sighed, she didn’t want to tell him the truth, to implicate him should she get caught. Although, he had a right to know what she would be doing. “I’m close to getting Calvin Poe…” Lexi began

Kelly interrupted shaking his head “No! Absolutely not” Kelly was done with the conversation he opened the car door. 

Lexi grabbed his arm. “Kelly please”

Kelly looked at her, saw the anguish in her eyes and closed the door again. “Is this why you quit?” he asked his anger seeping through his voice. “So, you can kill a guy without feeling like you betrayed your oath?” His comment stumped Lexi for a second, Kelly really did know her. He watched tears pool in her eyes, she visibly inhaled and exhaled, composing herself. She took her hand from his arm and looked through the windshield. “You’re not a killer Lex”

“Yes, I am” Lexi spat at him reaching his level of anger. “I’ve killed 3 people in the time I’ve been a Detective” 

“To protect other people”

Lexi shouted looking at him again. “WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS FOR?”

“SO, IT’S NOT ABOUT REVENGE? MAKING HIM PAY FOR SHAY?”

Lexi spoke softly, lowering her volume. “I didn’t say that” Lexi sighed breaking eye contact looking down at her hands in her lap.

“Shay wouldn’t want this” Kelly reached over and put his hand over hers. “She wouldn’t want you to do this”

“No, she wouldn’t. But it isn’t just about Shay, it’s about what he did to Jay, to you. What he might do next” Lexi looked at him. “Kelly, I can’t live like this. Looking over my shoulder, scared all the time, waiting for god knows what to happen.”

Kelly sighed looking out at the street. Contemplating what she was asking him. “I don’t want you to do this.” He told her “it’s too risky, you could get caught, or hurt. But I know you’ll find another way if I don’t help you” 

“I won’t get caught or hurt, I promise. I have a solid plan”

“Will Jay be with you?”

The way he asked the question Lexi knew he would feel better knowing Jay would be with her, helping her, watching her back. She nodded and answered without hesitation “Yes”.


	27. Go Time.

Lexi’s phone vibrating on her night stand woke her up. She sat up in the darkened room and checked her cell phone, nothing on it. She was confused for a second still in the remnants of sleep, then she remembered the burner phone in her top draw. She retrieved the phone quietly and read the message she had received.

**Cam:** Go time. Pick you up in 10 minutes.

Lexi looked over at Jay who slept beside her, he had his back to her. The message nor the glare from the phone screen seemed to have disturbed him. It was time to end this, she would get justice for Shay, or revenge whatever way you looked at it, it was time to make Calvin pay.

She gently got out of bed and went to her closet, she opened the door quietly and took out the packed bag she had prepared when Cam had instructed her to do so.

She took the bag to the bathroom and dressed quickly. Leaving the bathroom, carrying her bag, she checked Jay was still sleeping. She watched him for a second, she wanted to wake him and tell him she loved him. That the hard part would be over soon, they could start the happy life he spoke about, in Chicago or wherever else he wanted to go. She would follow him to the ends of the earth if that’s what he wanted.

“I love you” she whispered before leaving the room and silently descending the stairs.

Lexi unlocked the door and stepped out on to the dark car park of Molly’s, her own and Jay’s car were the only ones there. It was coming up to five in the morning, so the street was deserted, there was no vehicle or foot traffic. She turned and locked the door again behind her then began walking to the main road. Cam would be there to pick her up any minute.

Lexi looked left and then right down the road, she didn’t know what direction Cam would come from. She couldn’t see any vehicles or headlights approaching her. “Lexi” she turned at the sound of Jay’s voice, he stood in the doorway of her apartment wearing only his boxer shorts, his face still showing signs of sleep. “What’s going on?”

“Go back to bed Jay” Lexi pleaded turning to look at him. “Please”

Jay walked to her barefoot on the cold concrete. “You don’t have to do this alone” he told her holding her by her shoulders. “I’ve done the things you’re about to do…” She knew he meant whilst he was a ranger, he had mentioned some of the things he had been ordered to do whilst he was serving his country. He knew she was going to make Calvin suffer, she wasn’t going to let him off easy. “…and I know that you have to do it, but please let me help you”

Lexi shook her head and stepped back from him “No Jay, plausible deniability.” She reminded him “I’m not letting you get caught up in this”

“I’m not letting you do this alone” he said beginning to walk back towards her apartment to get dressed.

“No Jay” Lexi called after him “you’re not doing this, I won’t let you”

He heard her bag hit the floor, he turned and watched her as she marched towards his car taking something out of her pocket. “Lexi don’t please” he begged seeing she held a pocket knife in her hand.

She didn’t break her stride or slow down, she crouched by his car and plunged the 3-inch blade in to the front passenger tyre. “I can’t risk you following me Jay” she told him pulling the blade out and listening to the air hiss out.

“Lex this is crazy” he told her as he watched her do the same to her own car tyre.

“I know” She said walking to stand in front of him “and I’m sorry but I can’t risk you, I won’t risk you being implicated in all of this”

“I’m only implicated if we get caught and if you’re that worried about being caught maybe you shouldn’t be this either”

Lexi wasn’t worried about being caught, but why risk Jay if she didn’t have too? Lexi took her phone from her pocket and handed it to him “you can help me by sending me messages and replying to yourself, make it look like it’s me”

Jay shook his head “No, I’m coming with you”

They both looked up as they heard a vehicle pull up at the curb. Jay tried looking in to the white panel van, but the windows had been blacked out. “I have to go” she turned to walk away.

Jay grabbed her arm stopping her. “Please wait”

Lexi stopped walking and turned to face him she kissed him quickly, he kissed her back putting his hand on the side of her face and another around her waist pulling him in to her. Lexi broke their kiss and tried to pull away from him, he held her tightly. “Jay let me go”

“No Lexi please, don’t do this”

She had to get away from him, she had to go, she had to finish this once and for all, she had to do it her way and without getting Jay in to trouble. “I love you” she told him softly “And I’m so sorry for this, I hope you can forgive me for all of it” she said before punching him in the gut where he had had his spleen surgery. Jay doubled over in pain, coughing at the blow, she hadn’t held back, she had punched him with all her might. Jay leant on her for support, Lexi helped lower him to the floor, she put her cell phone on the floor beside him “I’m sorry” she said again and then turned on her heels and walked away.

Lexi didn’t stop walking as she passed her bag, she bent to pick it up and continued to walk to the van as she listened to Jay splutter and cough trying to catch his breath, she knew if she stopped, she would go back to him and help him. She got in to the van and Cam was pulling away before Lexi had even closed the door.

* * *

 Jay raced up the stairs of the district to the Intelligence floor. Ruzek, Atwater, Dawson, Olinsky and Burgess were in attendance, Voight in his office.

“Where’s the fire?” Adam asked watching Jay race past him towards Voight’s office.

“Lexi’s gone” Jay explained striding across the office.

“What do you mean gone?” Adam asked.

Jay heard everyone get up from their desks and follow him to crowd round Voight’s office door. “Where is she?” Jay demanded bursting in to Hank’s office without knocking. 

“Watch your tone” Hank warned standing and walking around his desk to stand in front of Jay. “Lexi is fine” Hank said walking around Jay out of his office so everyone could hear him.

“Sarge” Jay began walking to stand in front of him, face to face, he needed Hank to see he was worried about her no amount of words would stop that. “I’m freaking out here, she slashed my tyres and she sucker punched me to get away, she is not fine”

Hank smirked a little, he was proud of Lexi for doing what needed to be done. “She’s fine, you don’t need to look for her, you don’t need to worry about her”

“Voight, please” Jay needed to know for himself that she was okay. “Please, I’m going out of my mind here” Jay pleaded.

Hank eyed him for a second then sighed deeply “Come with me” Hank turned and walked back in to his office, Jay following closely behind him. “Close the door”

Jay did as he was instructed closing the door, he watched Hank take a small burner cell phone from his top draw. Hank pushed a few buttons and then held the phone to his ear. “Yeah, it’s me” Hank spoke in to the receiver. “I need to speak to her…it will just take a minute” Hank handed the phone to Jay.

Jay put it to his ear and waited, he could hear shuffling like the phone was being passed to someone else. “Hello?” Lexi’s voice came through the phone, she sounded annoyed, like she wasn’t impressed about being interrupted.

“Lex” Jay said exhaling audibly, relieved at hearing her voice.

“Shit Jay” Lexi said, her tone relaxed “I’m so sorry”

“Where are you?”

“I can’t tell you that. I promise I’ll explain everything when I’m back.”

“Back?” Jay questioned “Lexi, where…”  
  
Lexi interrupted his questioning “I can’t talk right now. I have to go. I’m sorry, I’ll see you in a couple days. I love you” the line went dead.

Jay handed the phone back to Voight telling him “I want to help her”

Hank took the phone back “what exactly do you think she needs help with?” Voight questioned placing the phone back in to the top draw of his desk.

“Come on Hank, I’m not stupid” Jay said a little angry at Hank for letting her do this alone. Jay had figured out she must have Calvin somewhere, extracting her revenge. “I can help her. She shouldn’t be doing this by herself”

“Leave it alone Jay” Voight advised him “She asked me to keep you away, she doesn’t want anything coming back on you, or the unit. Leave it be, that’s an order”

“Screw your orders” Jay spat at him “I’m not going to sit here and let her do this alone”

Voight raised his voice walking around his desk to stand in front of Jay. “That’s exactly what you’re going to do!”

Jay stood a little taller, he wasn’t backing down. “You can tell me where she is, or I can go looking myself, your call”

Voight sighed pissed at Jay’s attitude. “I know you think you’re helping her right now but you’re not. I’m telling you to leave it be”

Jay stepped closer to Hank, standing nose to nose. “Tell me where she is”

Hank knew Jay wasn’t going to accept defeat, it wouldn’t matter what orders Hank gave him, what threats he made, Jay would try to find Lexi and in turn he would cause more trouble. “Twenty-four hours” Voight began his negotiation “give her twenty-four hours, if she’s not back by then I’ll take you to her”

Jay thought for a second, would Hank take him to her or was he just trying to buy some time to get Jay to back off? “Twenty-four hours, starting now” Jay compromised looking down at his watch to check the time. It would be the longest twenty-four hours of his life.

* * *

It had been twenty-four hours, twenty-seven if you counted the two hours it had taken Hank to drive himself and Jay to where Lexi supposedly was. Jay still didn’t quite believe Hank was taking him to her, he thought he was stalling but he would let it play out.

Hank drove down a thin dirt track, lined with trees. The road was bumpy, the track hadn’t been driven on for a long time. A clearing opened revealing a dilapidated house. The white paint faded to yellow and peeling off, the timber frame rotting and crumbling. Hank pulled the car to a stop and they both exited the vehicle looking up at the house. They were greeted with silence. They were far from any major roads; the sound of their engine had scared away any woodland creatures that may have been around moments before.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Jay asked looking over the bonnet of the car at Voight.

“Yes” Voight told him looking as confused as Jay felt approaching the house.

Hank tried the door handle to find it wasn’t locked. The wood creaked as Hank pushed his weight against it, forcing the door open, it clearly hadn’t been opened in a long while.

“This is bullshit” Jay said from behind him “she isn’t here. No one is here, no one has been here in decades”

Hank turned to look at him looking pissed, Lexi had lied to him. “You’re right” Hank took the burner cell from his pocket and dialled the only saved number.

Jay stepped closer to him to try to listen to the other side of the call prompting Hank to put the phone on loud speaker. The phone rang for so long Jay thought the call would be sent to voicemail just as Lexi answered sounding out of breath. “You came looking for me, right?” she asked without a greeting.

“Where are you?” Hank and Jay demanded simultaneously.

“Stop looking” Lexi informed them. “You won’t find me.”

“This wasn’t part of the deal” Hank reminder her angrily.

“Neither was taking Jay to look for me” she shot back.

“Lexi…” Jay started sounding just as pissed as Hank had.

Lexi interrupted him “Go home.” She advised “I’ll be back tomorrow, you can both be pissed at me then” Lexi ended the call.

Jay kicked the dirt road and growled deep in his throat, she was so stubborn. “What now?” Jay asked looking at Hank.

“You heard her, we go home” Hank walked back to the car.

* * *

Jay sat on Lexi’s sofa in silence, drinking a bottle of beer from her fridge. He stared at her cell phone that sat on the coffee table in front of him. He had done what she had asked, he had sent her messages and replied to himself using her phone as if it were her replying.

After he and Hank had returned from their wasted trip of looking for her, Jay had returned to her apartment. He had stayed there both nights since she had left, he wanted to be there when she arrived home.

His mind was working overtime thinking about all the things she was doing. How the things she was doing were making her feel? He knew she wouldn’t make Calvin’s death easy or slow, but he didn’t know how she would feel doing the things she needed to do in order to make that a reality.

Calvin deserved a slow, painful death, he agreed with that whole heartedly, but he didn’t know if Lexi could handle being the one to deliver that. He couldn’t decide if he was more worried about her wellbeing or more pissed at her for not letting him go with her.

Jay heard a noise at the bottom of the stairs, he listened for a second trying to decipher if it was Lexi coming home or someone leaning against the door in Molly’s. People tended to lean against the door that led to her apartment to take phone calls, it was a quiet spot out of the way of the main bar area.

He heard another bump and was certain it was someone on the stairs. “Lex” he called out standing up from the sofa.

“Jay” he heard Lexi call back “help me.”


	28. Worst-case Scenario

Lexi pulled the screw driver out of Calvin’s leg and enjoyed the scream of pain that escaped his lips. “I’ve said I’m sorry” Calvin said quietly. “What more do you want from me?” he cried as blood dribbled from his mouth.

“We’re way past sorry” Lexi told him.

They had been in Kelly’s boat house for twenty-four hours. It had taken six hours for Calvin to realise it wasn’t a game, six hours to break him, then he had turned in to a quivering mess. Lexi had used numerous tools to torture Calvin. Screw drivers, pliers to pull off each of his nails, a knife to slice cuts in to his arm, a hammer on his hands. She couldn’t deny it felt good to hear him scream, see him cry, hear him beg for his life.

“Please” Calvin pleaded spitting a mouthful of blood on the floor. “Please stop”

Lexi heard the burner phone ring, it sat on a table a few feet away. She turned to answer it even though Cam was stood closer to it, knowing it would be Hank. She walked two steps toward the table as Cam shouted her name in a warning tone, “LEX” Cam’s warning made Lexi turn back around.

As she twisted to look at Calvin, he was on her, plunging a broken piece of metal in to her stomach. He was already weakened from the torture and Lexi was able to knock him to the floor easily, but it was too late the broken piece of boat or whatever it was, was embedded in her lower abdomen. Cam was on her feet and on top of Calvin knocking him out with a punch in less than a second.

Lexi looked down to see the metal sticking out of her. It was in deep. The phone was still ringing. Lexi walked to the table, holding the metal steady in her stomach. She found the phone and walked slowly outside to answer the call.

She leant against the outside wall of the boat house and answered the phone. “You came looking for me, right...Stop looking. You won’t find me…Neither was taking Jay to look for me…Go home. I’ll be back tomorrow, you can both be pissed at me then” Lexi ended the call. She leant against the boat house behind her, she breathed heavily for a moment looking up at the tree tops and blue sky. How did they not understand that this was something she had to do alone?

“Hank came looking for you?” Cam asked her poking her head round the door.

Lexi nodded “with Jay”

“Jay’s the old but new boyfriend” Cam commented pretending to be confused.

Lexi rolled her eyes and laughed “it’s not that hard to grasp Cam” Lexi knew her real name was Victoria but was so used to calling her Cam, it was strange to call her by any other name.

“Jay is the super hot Detective new boyfriend, Kelly is the smoking hot fireman ex-fiancé”

Lexi chuckled “Correct”

Cam looked down at the metal sticking out of Lexi’s gut. “That doesn’t look good”

“It doesn’t feel good either” Lexi took a deep breath

“We should get that seen to”

“No” Lexi shook her head

“Lex” Cam began protesting “I don’t want you bleeding out on me”

“Just patch me up” Lexi offered “then let’s finish this, before Hank and Jay do actually find us” Lexi advised walking back in to the boat house.

“Or you bleed out” Cam remarked following her.

* * *

Lexi unlocked the door to her apartment from the street. She threw her bag at the bottom of the stairs and switched on the light. She tried lifting her leg to take the first step, but she couldn’t, she was to weak, she put her hand to her wounded side and sat on the bottom step. 

“Lex?” she heard Jay call from her apartment above.

“Jay” she called back as loudly as she could “help me.”

“Lex” Jay said seeing her sat on the bottom step. Lexi looked up at him, he saw how pale she was as he raced down towards her. “What the hell happened?”

Lexi pulled her hand away from her right side to show blood on her palm. “I can’t stop the bleeding” she explained softly, it was becoming hard to speak. “I need you to call Gabby” she told Jay. “tell her worst-case scenario, she’ll know what to do”

Jay took his phone from his pocket and pushed Gabby’s name on the screen, it rang three times before she answered “Worst-case scenario” he said quickly.

“Where are you?” Gabby enquired.

Jay could hear her beginning to move on the other end of the line. “Lexi’s apartment”.  

“Okay, there’s a bag with supplies in my locker at Molly’s” Gabby instructed giving him the combination to the lock. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes”

“I’m not sure she has that long, hurry” Jay worried before hanging up. “I’ll be back in a minute” he told Lexi putting the phone back in his pocket before turning and exiting through the door that lead to Molly’s.

Jay went immediately to Gabby’s locker in Molly’s kitchen and put the combination in, he found the large duffle bag and carried it back to Lexi.

She was breathing shallowly leaning her head against the wall, her eyes closed. “Lexi” Jay questioned quickly. Her eyes sprang open “don’t go to sleep on me” he pleaded. He needed help and he needed it now, he couldn’t wait for Gabby. Jay took his own phone from his pocket and dialled his brother’s number. “Don’t go to sleep!” Jay told Lexi waiting for Will to answer his phone.

“Hey brother” Will answered “How’s it going? I was just…”

“Will, I need your help” Jay interrupted him speaking quickly. “I’m at Lexi’s apartment”

“Okay” Will replied noting his brother’s urgent tone “I’m in Molly’s, I’ll be there in a second” Will advised before hanging up the line.

“We need to get you upstairs” Jay knelt in front of Lexi putting his phone back in his pocket. “Can you walk?” Lexi shook her head, she was too weak she knew she wouldn’t be able to walk up the stairs in to her apartment. Jay picked her up and carried her up the stairs. He heard the door open behind him when he reached the top and assumed it was Will. “Pick up the bags” Jay called over his shoulder.

“Jay, what the hell?” Will questioned doing as he was asked picking up both bags that lay at the bottom of the stairs before following his brother.

Jay laid Lexi gently on her bed, she closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the pillow “No, no, no” Jay said sitting beside her and shaking her shoulders slightly “Don’t go to sleep, keep your eyes open, stay with me”

Lexi opened her eyes, groaning slightly, she exhaled shallowly “I’m so tired”

“I know, I know baby” Jay said, “but you can’t go to sleep” He said wiping sweat soaked hair from her face.

Will entered the room and saw how pale Lexi was, she was sweating profusely, her pale blue shirt was soaked with sweat and there was a patch of fresh blood seeping through on her right side. “Move out of the way” Will demanded pushing Jay out of the way. “Lexi what happened?” Will asked leaning over her and taking her pulse, it was too fast, a clear sign of blood loss. She closed her eyes again. “Lexi, Lexi open your eyes” Will pulled her eye lids up, her eyes reacted which meant she had only passed out.

Jay picked up Gabby’s bag and placed it on the bed beside Lexi “Help her, please” Jay begged as Gabby charged in to the room.

“She needs a hospital” Will said standing up straight and looking at his brother.

Gabby commenced taking supplies from the bag and placing them on the bed in order they would be needed. Gabby cut Lexi’s shirt open explaining. “We have everything we need.” she said looking up at Will with pleading eyes handing him a pair of gloves. “We can help her here”

“She’s lost too much blood” Will informed her putting on the gloves as Gabby peeled away the blood-soaked bandage from Lexi’s abdomen, revealing the deep stab wound. “She needs a transfusion; do you have a couple bags of blood in there?”

“Will, please” Jay said walking to stand in front of him before Gabby could answer his rhetorical question. “She can’t go to the hospital, they ask too many questions. Questions we can’t answer. But this happened because she was trying to protect all of us” Jay pointed to Lexi on the bed “to protect me, please help her”

Will looked in his brother’s eyes. He understood why she couldn’t be taken to the hospital, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. Right now, she needed his help, his brother was asking for his help. “She needs blood, do you know what her type is?”

“Kelly” Gabby answered. “Kelly is a match”

“He’s in the bar” Will told Jay “Go” Jay ran from the room.

* * *

Jay raced down the stairs taking two at a time, he had to put his arms out to stop himself from crashing in to the door at the bottom. He took a second to compose himself, he couldn’t race in to Molly’s looking panicked, he didn’t want to arouse suspicions from anyone.

Jay walked calmly in to Molly’s, he tiptoed above the crowd to locate Kelly, he was at the far end of the bar talking to Casey and Boden. Jay made his way through the crowd and locked eyes with Kelly as he approached. Kelly knew immediately something was off, Jay looked like he was going to throw up, sick with worry. “What’s wrong?” Kelly asked as Jay got close enough to hear him.

“She needs your help” Jay told him not breaking eye contact. Kelly didn’t hesitate, he put his beer on the bar and followed Jay back through the crowd.

* * *

“Okay Gabby what are we looking at?” Will asked turning Doctor mode on.

“It’s a puncture wound, it’s jagged so it wasn’t a knife” Gabby explained connecting an IV drip to Lexi’s arm.

“I’m going to need to stitch inside and out” Will explained kneeling on the floor beside the bed. “We’re going to need to numb the area around the wound. I don’t want her waking up whilst I’m doing it”

“It’s all in the bag” Gabby told him hooking the IV bag on to the headboard freeing up her hands.  

Kelly followed Jay in to Lexi’s room to find Will knelt on the floor injecting a clear liquid through a needle in to Lexi’s abdomen, Gabby stood beside him holding another needle ready for Will. Kelly could see the wound was deep and still bleeding. “What do you need?” Kelly asked

“Take off your jacket” Gabby ordered giving Will the final needle. “Roll up your shirt sleeve. Jay bring that chair over here”

Kelly followed his instructions whilst Jay throw the clothes that hung over the chair to the floor and picked it up, carrying it to the side of the bed beside where Lexi lay. Gabby began hanging another empty bag to collect Kelly’s blood.

“There’s no time for that” Will told her twisting a stitch in to Lexi. “It’s needs to be a direct transfusion”

Kelly sat in the chair and held his arm out as Gabby wiped the crook of his arm with a sterile wipe, “you’ll feel a little pinch” Gabby told him before sticking his vein with the needle she held. Kelly winced a little as the needle pierced his skin. Gabby quickly turned and did the same to Lexi’s arm putting the other end of the tube directly in to Lexi’s arm. Jay sighed heavily relieved as he watched the red liquid travel from Kelly’s arm to Lexi’s. Gabby adjusted the drip making it flow a little faster, Lexi needed it.  

“Will,” Jay began “How bad is it?”

Will chanced a quick glance at his brother and could see the worry in his face. Jay was watching the love of his life slip away, but Will couldn’t lie, he needed to be honest, prepare Jay for the worst. “It’s bad” Will confirmed “but we’re going to fix it. The cuts deep. But I’ve stopped the bleeding” he assured his brother speaking to him as a doctor. “I just hope she doesn’t have any internal injuries.”

“I don’t think she does” Gabby told him sounding hopeful holding Lexi’s wrist checking her heart rate. “Her pulse is stabilising”

“Good, that’s good.” Will sighed placing another delicate stitch.

Jay heard a phone chiming, it was going off every minute to notify there was a message waiting to be read. He followed the sound of the phone as he heard Will give Kelly instructions to notify him if he felt sick or dizzy at any point. Jay located the burner phone in the rucksack Lexi had bought back. He read the unread message that had caused the chiming.

**Cam:** I had fun. Glad it’s done. Until next time, kisses!

Jay shook his head at the message, it was so casual, ‘kisses’ like they had met up for brunch or something not killed a man.

“What the hell happened?” Kelly asked looking to Jay.

Jay exhaled deeply and walked back to lean against the wall, his legs were going to give out on him as his adrenaline depleted. He ran a hand over his face. “Calvin. She got him”

Gabby’s head shot up from checking Lexi’s pulse to look at Jay. “She got the bastard?” Gabby asked for confirmation.

Jay nodded “Yeah. It’s done, it’s over”

Gabby’s eyes filled with tears as she looked down at Lexi. “That’s my girl” Gabby said kissing Lexi’s forehead.

* * *

Will washed his hands in Lexi’s bathroom sink, washing her blood down the drain, he watched the red tinged water swirl down the plug and looked up in to the mirror to see Jay stood in the doorway watching him.

“Thank you” Jay said softly his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

“Don’t thank me yet” Will said drying his hands on the towel and turning to face his brother. “She’s not out of the woods yet. She could have an infection from whatever was used to stab her, internal bleeding, a reaction from the transfusion” Will listed a few potential complications exiting the bathroom.

Gabby and Kelly were in the kitchen, getting Kelly something to eat and drink, to refuel. Will checked Lexi’s pulse, counting it off using his watch. “She needs antibiotics”

“Gabby got some, there in the bag” Jay told him

Will shook his head laughing lightly “are there any supplies left in the hospital?”

“Nope” Gabby answered walking back in to the room carrying a bowl filled with warm water and wash cloth.

The brothers laughed at her as she sat beside Lexi and began moping her forehead with the cloth.

“I’m sorry I dragged you in to all of this” Jay told his big brother, he was sorry he had drug Will in to the whole situation, but he was so thankful that Will had been there to help.

“Don’t sweat it” Will smiled “I’m glad she got the guy and I’m glad I could help”

“I owe you”

“You both owe me” Will said raising his eyebrows looking from Jay to Lexi. Will inhaled deeply “okay I need a drink. I’ll be in the bar if you need me” Will said as Jay hugged him.

* * *

Kelly sat at Lexi’s breakfast bar eating a bag of chips and drinking a can of Pepsi as he had been told to do so by Gabby. He needed to get his blood sugar levels back up after donating his blood to Lexi. Jay entered and went to the fridge taking out a bottle of water.

Jay took a long drink from the bottle before looking at Kelly. “Thank you”

“Don’t mention it” Kelly told him taking a swig of the sugary drink. “Wanna tell me what happened?”

“I know what you know” Jay informed him leaning against the fridge. “she took off in the middle of the night two nights ago and…”

Kelly interrupted him. “You weren’t with her?”

Jay shook his head “No. She sucker punched me and ran” Kelly smirked at the mention of Lexi punching Jay “thought you’d like that bit” Jay chuckled.

“Sorry man” Kelly laughed “couldn’t help it”

Jay shook his head laughing. “I tried looking for her, but she didn’t tell anyone where she was. She even lied to Voight”

“Wow” Kelly said looking shocked, it wasn’t something Lexi would do lightly, without prior thought or doubt.

“Yeah, he’s pretty pissed at her” The mention of Voight reminded Jay he hadn’t called him to update him. He knew Voight would be worrying about her just as Jay had. Jay took his phone from his pocket and dialled Hank’s number as Kelly spoke.

“I think we all have a reason to be pissed at her” Kelly said.

Jay was going to ask what Kelly had to be pissed at her about when Hank answered his call. “She’s home” Jay told him immediately. “She was hurt, Will and Gabby patched her up.” Hank told him he’d be right over before hanging up not giving Jay chance to explain she wasn’t currently conscious and up for visitors.

“GUYS” Gabby called from the bedroom.


	29. "Stuck With Me"

Lexi could hear voices in the distance, she could feel a warm touch on her forehead, but everything was foggy, her eyes were heavy. She wanted to open then, find the voices but she was so sleepy. She flicked her eyes open quickly, the bright light of the room stung her eyes, she blinked quickly adjusting her eyes to the room. “GUYS” she heard a voice call out beside her. Lexi moved her head to see Gabby sat beside her smiling.

“Hey” Gabby spoke softly stroking her hair gently. “Welcome back”

Lexi heard a commotion at the door and looked to see Jay and Kelly file in to the room. “Who are you people?” Lexi asked groaning slightly. Gabby, Kelly and Jay all exchanged a worried look. Before any of them could speak Lexi laughed, instantly regretting it as it pulled her side. “Ow, ow, remind me not to laugh”

“That was not funny” Gabby chided her.

“It was a little funny” Jay said smirking sitting on the other side of the bed taking Lexi’s hand in his own. “How are you feeling?”

“Weak” Lexi admitted “Tired”

“What happened?” Kelly asked the burning question everyone had.

“He got loose” Lexi spoke slowly, it hurt to breathe, as well as talk. “Got hold of a piece of metal before I could subdue him”

“Cam sent you a message” Jay explained to her “it’s over, it’s done” Lexi sighed and nodded she couldn’t talk anymore, it hurt.

“More importantly” Gabby started “did he suffer?”

Lexi managed a small smile and one word “Immensely”

Lexi’s eyes fluttered and Gabby knew she was struggling to stay awake. “Okay she needs to rest” Gabby told the boys standing and ushering them out of the room.

* * *

Jay had called Will back up from the bar after Lexi had woke and asked him to check on her which he was doing when Hank arrived twenty minutes after Lexi had fallen to sleep. Hank and Kelly sat at Lexi’s breakfast bar, Jay stood leaning his back against the wall by the kitchen window. “Did she say much?” Hank asked Jay.

“Just that he got loose and attacked her.” Jay explained

“Did she tell you where she was?”  Voight inquired.

Jay shook his head as Kelly raised his hand a little. “I may have that answer” He began explaining. “She asked me to borrow my Grandfather’s old boating cabin”

“What? You knew?” Jay asked, “YOU KNEW WHERE SHE WAS?” Jay shouted walking towards Kelly in the chair who stood up ready for anything.

“YOU NEVER ASKED ME!” Kelly yelled back “AND IT’S NOT LIKE SHE TOLD ME WHEN SHE WAS GOING!”

“HEY” Gabby shouted entering the kitchen interrupting the budding argument. “Do you hear yourselves?” she asked standing in Jay’s path and pointing for him to go back by the wall. “The only thing that matters right now” she began watching Jay walk back to lean on the wall and Kelly sit back on the stool. “The only thing that matters period is that she’s okay, she’s going to be okay.”

“Look, she told me you were going with her” Kelly clarified looking at Jay. “If I had known you weren’t, I would have told you”

Will entered not giving Jay a chance to respond, looking at Kelly he asked, “You up for giving some more blood?”

“Is she okay?” Jay asked quickly

“She’s fine” Will enlightened nodding looking at his worried brother. “I just think she could do with another pint, give her a boost” Will looked back at Kelly.

“Whatever she needs” Kelly said standing from the stool ready to follow Will in to the bedroom.

“She’s not up for an interrogation” Will advised looking from Hank to Jay “and she won’t be for a couple days. She needs to rest, and to not be stressed out.”

Hank nodded, he understood what Will was telling him. “We need to know what happened” Hank stated.

“Give her three days” Will told him rather than asked “three days to rest, recover a little then you can ask all the questions you want.”

“You’re the Doctor” Hank agreed.

* * *

Jay entered Lexi’s bedroom to see Kelly slumped asleep in the chair, the needle in his arm was dripping slowly in to the already half full bag. Jay figured it was a good sign that Will had thought Lexi didn’t need a direct transfusion again.

Will and Hank had left, Hank promising to return when Will decided she was well enough for visitors, Gabby was sleeping on the sofa, staying close by in case Lexi needed her.

Kelly stirred and woke sitting up in the chair. “You need anything?” Jay asked him quietly not wanting to disturb Lexi.

Kelly shook his head “No I’m good.”

Jay watched Lexi’s chest rise and fall. The colour had returned to her face, Gabby had removed her blooded clothes and dressed her in shorts and t-shirt pyjama set, if Jay didn’t know any better, he would have thought she was sleeping peacefully and not been practically dying hours ago.

“Kelly listen, about earlier” Jay started “I’m sorry for being an asshole”

Kelly interjected “I get it.” Kelly shrugged gazing at Lexi sleeping “she drives you crazy”

“That she does” Jay agreed sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I’m sorry too” Kelly admitted “for being an asshole not just earlier but every other time too”

“I get it” Jay smiled “she drives you crazy.”

They both laughed. They sat in silence for a minute, both watching the woman they love sleeping.

“I’m going to back off” Kelly announced breaking the silence. “let her be happy”

“Appreciate it” Jay nodded smiling.

Kelly said he was backing off like Jay needed him too, like he needed Kelly to leave Lexi alone in order to keep her. He made it sound like he was doing Jay a favour but now wasn’t the time to argue who Lexi was more in love with.

“I get it now, you’re better for her than I ever was. I see that now.” Kelly confessed, Jay felt a little awkward, he wanted to agree but didn’t want to come across as cocky. “But just know I’m going to be around the second you screw it up”

Jay laughed a little, there was the Kelly he knew. “I wouldn’t hold your breath” Jay advised him “on second thought” he joked only partly serious.

* * *

Lexi woke up in her bed to find herself alone in her room. The curtains were drawn but Lexi could tell it was daylight outside. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand which told her it was just after nine in the morning. She remembered waking a few times during the night, needing to use the bathroom. Gabby had assisted her twice and Jay once, but the few steps it took to get to the bathroom and back to the bed exhausted her and she fell asleep quickly after getting back in to bed. She wasn’t sure if she had dreamt it. She thought she remembered seeing Kelly asleep in the chair by the bed at some point but couldn’t be sure.

Lexi’s stomach rumbled, she was hungry. She pulled herself to a sitting position and swung her legs off the bed slowly, planting her feet firmly on the floor. That simple motion was hard work, she sat on the edge of the bed for a second catching her breath.

“Jay, Gabby” Lexi called out knowing she wouldn’t be able walk to the kitchen unaided.

She heard footsteps outside the door then Will entered the room. “Hey, you shouldn’t be moving around” Will told her walking quickly to her side.

“Will?” Lexi questioned, now she wasn’t sure if she was still dreaming or not. “What are you doing here?”

“Jay called me asked me for help” Will explained helping lift her legs back on to the bed. He plumped her pillows and put them up so she could sit up. “I stitched you up”

“Thank you” Lexi smiled

“I wouldn’t thank me too much” Will smiled grimacing a little. “You’re going to have a scar, I’m not a plastic surgeon”

“I can deal with a scar” Lexi assured him “my bikini days were numbered anyway” she laughed a little. “What did Jay tell you?”

“Enough to know you couldn’t go to the hospital. Not quite enough that I could go to prison”

“Will, I’m sorry you’re caught up in this” Lexi started to apologise “I never meant…”

“Stop” He interrupted “as long as you’re in Jay’s life, you’re family, you’re my family, this is what family do for each other.”

Lexi couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her eyes. “You Halstead’s definitely have a way with words”

Will laughed at her sitting in the chair that was still beside the bed. “I taught Jay all he knows”

“I don’t doubt it” Lexi chuckled wiping the tears from her cheeks. “Speaking of, where is the younger, less charming Halstead?”

“Don’t forget less handsome” Will added laughing. “Jay went to get breakfast. Gabby and Kelly had to go to work. Gabby and I are going to take it in turns, making sure one of us is always here for a while, keep an eye on you.”

“Thank you again” Lexi smiled, she inhaled and exhaled sharply, sighing she asked, “can I ask you something, as a Doctor?” Will nodded. “I had a real vivid dream about Shay, it was so real,”

“You were in serious trouble there for a second” Will explained “it’s not surprising you’d dream about her”

“It’s just after everything. It’s not what I was expecting to dream about”

“Well I don’t know what exactly happened and matters of the mind are not my area of expertise, so maybe you’re asking the wrong brother what to expect after a traumatic series of events” Will advised opening the bottle of painkillers that sat on the night stand, he handed her two pills and a glass of water.

Lexi took the pills swallowing them down with a swig of water as she heard someone ascend the stairs. Jay entered the bedroom carrying a plastic bag from Jerry’s.

“Hey, you’re up” Jay crossed the room as Will vacated the chair snatching the plastic bag Jay carried as he passed him.

“Thanks bro” Will said leaving the room allowing them to be alone.

Jay sat beside her on the bed and kissed her deeply. Lexi had to push Jay away from her to catch her breath. “Sorry” Jay said smiling “I was scared I wouldn’t get to do that again for a minute there.”

Lexi smiled and kissed his lips quickly. She understood he meant he thought he was going to lose her, that she was going to die. “Sorry I scared you but I’m not going anywhere” she told him. “You’re stuck with me Jay Halstead” Jay kissed her again.


	30. Interrogations

Gabby entered Lexi’s apartment to see Lexi sat on the sofa beside Jay her head resting on his shoulder, Will was sitting on the arm chair all watching a loud action movie on the tv, all to engrossed to notice her presence. “Hey” Gabby called out to get their attention.

Lexi psychically jumped at the sound and yelped as the sudden movement pulled her stitches. Jay quickly sat forward and turned to look at her, Will sprang from his chair and was on his knees beside her on the sofa. “I’m okay, I’m okay” Lexi said breathlessly holding her side as Gabby appeared at the side of the couch.

“Let me see” Will demanded motioning for Lexi to lift her shirt. Lexi moved her hand and lifted her shirt allowing Will to inspect her stitches. “It’s not bleeding”

“I told you I’m okay” Lexi confirmed

“No, you’re not” Jay said looking at her face, small sweat beads had broken out on her forehead and she was visibly panting.

Will had gone against his better judgement and allowed Lexi to convince him she was well enough to get out of bed. “I knew it was too soon for you to be out of bed” Will advised standing up, “come on, back to bed”

Jay stood up and both he and Will held their hands out for Lexi to help her off the sofa. Jay helped Lexi walk slowly back to her bed. Gabby and Will followed entering the room as Jay aided Lexi in to a sitting position in her bed, pulling the covers over her legs.

“Are you okay?” Will asked looking at Lexi, she nodded but didn’t speak. “You got this?” Will asked looking at Gabby, “I need to get to work”

“Yeah, of course, go” Gabby confirmed.

“She needs more pills in half hour” Will advised looking at his watch before saying goodbye and leaving Lexi in the capable hands of the others.

“Do you need anything?” Jay asked sitting on the bed beside Lexi.

She shook her head, “No, Jay please I’m okay” Lexi sighed and put her head against the headboard behind her. “Like Will said I’ve just over done it a little, I shouldn’t have got out of bed”

“No, you shouldn’t have” Gabby scolded her “you should sleep, you need to rest”

* * *

Lexi woke a few hours later in her bed, Jay sleeping beside her. She took a deep breath, she felt better, she had overdone it earlier. Jay stirred and opened his eyes to find her looking at him. “Hey” he whispered in the moonlit room.

“Hi” Lexi smiled at him

“You okay?”

“Yeah” Lexi assured him nodding, she was getting tired of being asked that question. She knew everyone was worried and just trying to help but it was getting old and fast.

“You sure? I can go get Gabby, she’s sleeping on the couch again”

“I’m fine” Lexi told him softly “I promise, I just get uncomfortable lying on my back” she explained “and it hurts to turn over to lie on my good side”

“You wanna sit up for a while?” Jay asked sitting up in the bed and switching on the lamp on the night stand beside him.

“Yeah” Lexi said as Jay climbed out bed and walked around to her side to help her sit up. Jay leant around her and put some pillow behind her, making sure they were plumped up, Lexi put her hand on the side of his face making him stop and look at her. She kissed him tenderly and slowly.

“What was that for?” Jay asked smiling coming out of the kiss.

“Because I love you”

“I love you too” he kissed her softly again before walking back around the bed and getting under the covers. Jay laid his head on her lap, and she drew imaginary circles on his bare shoulder with her finger. Jay broke the silence after a few minutes. “You wanna talk about it?”

He felt and heard Lexi exhale through her nose before answering “there’s nothing to talk about”

Jay rolled over lying on his back, his head still in her lap so he could look up at her. “Really?” he questioned “cause your reaction to Gabby earlier wasn’t a normal one”

“She startled me” Lexi explained it away “I forgot she had a set of keys, I wasn’t expecting it that’s all”

“So, you’re not expecting someone to kick your door in and arrest you?”

“No” Lexi shook her head “one hundred percent not expecting that”

“You really trust the Chameleon? Is that a smart move? Trusting a criminal”

Lexi chuckled slightly “It’s a bit late if I didn’t.”

Jay sat up and copied Lexi pose, putting his back against the headboard. “I’m serious Lex” Jay began taking her hand in his. “You might not be worried that someone isn’t going to kick the door in but I am. Less than twenty-four hours ago I thought I was losing you, I can’t keep thinking like that” he turned his head looking in to her eyes, pleading with her almost “you need to give me something here”

Lexi took a deep breath and kept eye contact with him. She wanted to tell him what happened, but she was worried it would change the way he looked at her when he knew exactly what she had done. “Calvin didn’t believe what was happening to begin with. He thought I’d taken him there to scare him in to confessing. He was acting all tough and macho, throwing insults at me, telling me I deserved everything I got.” Lexi broke her eye contact and looked down at their intertwined hands. “He kept waiting for you to walk in, asking where you were. Took a few hours for him to realise what was really happening, who the Chameleon was. Then he was like a little kid, petrified of the bogyman. I almost felt sorry for him.”

Lexi stopped talking and took a few deep breaths, Jay squeezed her hand reassuring her. “Was the Chameleon there the whole time?” Jay inquired, “did they help you?”

Lexi nodded “Yeah. When Calvin attacked me, they stopped him, wanted me to go the hospital but I refused, made them bring me here”

Jay shook his head at her stupidity. “So, a professional killer was worried enough about you to want to take you the hospital and you still refused?”

Lexi chuckled at his summary of events “yeah, I wasn’t finished” Lexi paused before she continued “He begged for his life, tried to convince me it was all Trent’s idea and he just went along with it…When I first saw him, tied to the chair, smiling at me like it was a big game, I thought I might have taken it too far. That I should just get a confession from him and bring him in but then he said Trent made a mistake by not making Shay suffer, she died too quickly” Lexi blinked back tears and paused, steadying her voice. “I scared myself, the more I did to him, the more I hurt him, the more he screamed or begged me to stop the easier it was. What does that say about me?” Lexi couldn’t bring herself to look at Jay scared of what his face would show. Would he be disappointed in her? Scared of her a little?

Jay put his hand under her chin and guided her head up making her look at him. “It says you’re a strong, bad-ass, human being” he leant over and kissed her gently.

Lexi laughed lightly coming out of the kiss “that’s what the Chameleon said”

Jay nodded smirking “Should I be worried about the Chameleon stealing you away from me?” he asked jokingly

Lexi smiled chuckling, “between you and me, she’s not my type” Jay laughed kissing her again.

* * *

Lexi had managed to avoid an interrogation from anyone for three days after she had returned home. Will and Gabby had been great in protecting her from a grilling, telling Hank, Kelly and Jay she needed to rest and avoid as much stress as possible.

But by day four Lexi was sick of lying in bed and had convinced Will she was well enough to be out of bed, but still taking it easy and staying in her apartment. 

Hank, Kelly and Jay decided this meant she was well enough to explain herself and give them the answers they wanted. Lexi sat at the breakfast bar, Will sat beside her keeping an eye on her pulse, the old-fashioned way without monitors, Will had already warned the other three men who stood around the kitchen waiting for answers that if he thought she was getting too worked up and stressed he would stop the questioning.

“Okay, let’s do this” Lexi started looking at each of the men staring back at her in turn. “If any of you are waiting for an apology, you’re not going to get one.” Neither man spoke waiting for her to continue. “Let’s break this down one by one” Lexi said looking at Kelly. “Kelly, I made you believe Jay would be with me”

“You didn’t make me believe it, you straight up lied to me” Kelly advised her.

“And if I hadn’t you A, wouldn’t have let me use the boat house or B, you’d have insisted on coming with me or C, followed me there, risking yourself” Kelly had no response, he would have done either of those things. “Okay Hank, I lied to you about where I would be” Hank nodded chewing his lip to try and mask some of his anger. “Which if I hadn’t you would have bought Jay directly to me, implicating the both of you. I lied to protect you both.”

“You don’t protect me” Voight said angrily “I protect you. You tell me the truth so I can lie for you”

Lexi looked down at her hands that rested on the breakfast bar, a little embarrassed at being scolded by Hank although she knew she deserved it and had expected it. Will put his fingers to her wrist keeping an eye on her pulse as she replied. “Now you don’t need to lie for me”

“Take it easy” Will warned feeling her heart rate increase.

Lexi took a deep breath and continued. “Jay, I don’t think I lied to you, but I did punch you” Will held up his hand for her to high-five him, which she did smirking a little. “Which was a bitch move and probably the only thing I am sorry for.” The room remained silent. “Will, did I lie to you?” Lexi asked looking at him.

“Oh no” Will said shaking his head grinning, “I’m just here for the entertainment.”

Lexi chuckled thankful for his assistance in trying to lighten to tense mood of the room but neither Hank, Kelly nor Jay found the funny side to the situation and all stood looking stern and angry. “Look the way I see this is your all pissed at me for doing the exact thing you all would have done to protect me and I’m not going to apologise for any of it.”

“We should have been there,” Jay told her “to help you. Maybe you wouldn’t have got hurt”

“And maybe one of you would have been hurt instead” Lexi suggested. “The whole point of this was to stop that from happening” she sighed heavily, she was getting tired. “It’s done now and being mad at me isn’t going to change anything. Can’t we all agree to disagree?”

Jay, Hank and Kelly exchanged a questioning look. Kelly spoke “We all know she’s way to stubborn to admit she was wrong”

Jay agreed “I guess that’s as good as we’re going to get”

“I’ve got to go to work” Kelly said as he walked to her and kissed her forehead.

“Thanks for everything Kelly” Lexi smiled quickly and watched him walk to the stairs.


	31. Family Of Misfits

**A week later.**

Lexi sat at her breakfast bar reading a magazine when she heard Jay and Will enter downstairs talking as they walked up the stairs. “Hey” Jay said smiling broadly when he reached the top of the stairs and saw her sat looking at him.

“Hey” She smiled back as he kissed her. “Hey Will” she said as he appeared behind his brother.

“Doctor Halstead” Will corrected smiling “I’m here on official, unofficial business” he explained pointing towards the couch.

Lexi walked to the couch taking off her top and lay down for Will to inspect her wound. Will had been inspecting her wound every few days to check for infections and to ensure it was healing as it should be.

“Wow, it’s that easy to get girls to take off their shirts” Jay smirked “I just have to tell them a Doctor”

“You picked the wrong profession brother” Will laughed kneeling beside the couch. Lexi rolled her eyes at the brothers as Will pulled back the dressing that covered the stitches on Lexi’s stomach. “Tell me if anything hurts” Will began prodding, gently putting pressure on different spots of her abdomen to check for tenderness. He watched her flinch as he pushed closer to the wound. “Sorry, does that hurt?”

Lexi shook her head “it’s more uncomfortable than painful”

Will nodded “Are you sure? You’re not playing anything down, are you?”

Jay walked to the couch and handed Will a new dressing as Lexi shook her head “No, as much as I love your visits Doc, I’ll just be happy when I don’t have to be poked and prodded anymore”

Will laughed opening the white plaster and placing it over the wound. “Well I have good news and bad news” Will stood up as did Lexi pulling her top back over her head. “The good news is, you’re free, I don’t need to see you as your Doctor anymore”

“And the bad news?” Jay asked putting his hand on Lexi’s shoulder, a little concerned.

“The bad news is,” Will began “You’re stuck with the younger, less charming, Halstead brother” Will smiled looking at Lexi.

Lexi laughed “You forgot less handsome”

Jay tutted shaking his head walking in to the kitchen. “Look at you two hilarious idiots bonding over inside jokes” Jay remarked going to the fridge “Beer?” he asked looking at Will.

Will shook his head “no, thanks. I’m going to leave you two alone” Will smiled. Lexi realised they hadn’t been alone since she had been home, Will or Gabby had been there for the last week, taking it in turns to sleep on the couch in case Lexi needed them in the night. “Finish your antibiotics, change the dressing every day until the end of the week, and take painkillers, if you feel like you need them”

“Thank you for everything Doctor Halstead” Lexi smiled sweetly hugging him.

Will embraced her “Remember I’m just a phone call away if you need anything and you still need to take it easy for a couple weeks.” Lexi pulled out of the hug nodding at his instructions. “No drinking, no heavy lifting, nothing to strenuous”

“Bro, you’re killing me here” Jay joked smiling sitting on the counter top drinking his beer.

“I’m serious” Will warned pointing at his brother “anything too energetic could pull her stitches, I’m not stitching her back up because you couldn’t keep it in your pants for a couple weeks.”

“I’ll be on my best behaviour” Jay did the scouts honour hand gesture.

“Game of Thrones and pizza is as crazy as it’s going to get” Lexi promised following Will to the door.

 “Take care of her” Will called over his shoulder as he descended the stairs.

* * *

**Two weeks later.**

Jay knocked on Hank’s open office door “Sarge, can I get a minute?”

“Sure” Voight answered motioning for him to enter.

Jay closed the door and sat at the chair in front of Hank’s desk. “I know it’s short notice, but I need tomorrow off, if it’s okay?”

“Okay” Voight told him “Why?”

Jay took a deep breath before explaining. “Lexi and I have decided to leave Chicago” Hank looked a little shocked. “And there’s an opening with the Ohio Homicide department”

Hank nodded, he understood the want to leave Chicago, get a fresh start but that didn’t mean he liked it. “You sure about leaving?”

Jay shrugged “I’m good as long as I’m with her”

* * *

Lexi walked up the stairs to the Intelligence Unit, Jay was in Voight’s office. Adam, Kim and Kevin were in the kitchen standing around drinking coffee. “Hey” she greeted them as she entered.

“Hey Lex” Kim said hugging her.

“More trouble?” Adam asking looking at the thick brown envelope Lexi carried.

Lexi shook her head smiling “the opposite actually.” Lexi motioned towards Voight’s office, “They been in there long?” she asked quickly trying to avoid Adam questioning her further.

“About five minutes”

“Ok, I’m going to interrupt, this involves Jay too” Lexi said shaking the envelope as she exited the kitchen and knocked on Voight’s door.

Jay stood up and opened Hank’s door for Lexi. “Hey” Jay said smiling as she walked in to the room.

“Hi” she greeted returning his smile. “I need to speak to you both actually” Lexi said as Jay stepped out of the office. Jay re-entered the office as Lexi sat in the chair he had occupied a minute ago. Jay closed the door as Lexi handed the thick envelope to Voight. “That was delivered by courier to my apartment this morning”

Hank removed the contents of the envelope and put it on his desk. It was a 6-inch thick diary, with a black leather cover, it was old, clearly had been used a lot, the pages fraying, bits of additional paper poking out. Hank opened the diary to the first page carefully. Hank read the piece of paper that had been inserted as the first page aloud. “Thanks for keeping your word. A present from me to you, for immunity, just in case. Love C.”

Hank handed the note to Jay looking up at Lexi for an explanation. “It’s an in-depth account of the life and career of the Chameleon” Lexi began, “every kill, every person she helped make disappear, changes of identities, what city they moved to, aliases they used. The names of the people who hired her, speculation on the reasons for being hired, everything” Lexi was more surprised as she said the words aloud. “I’m sure that could help us solve about thirty cold cases”

“What does she mean for keeping your word?” Jay asked.

Lexi looked at Voight for approval, was she allowed to explain it to Jay, Voight nodded giving her permission. “After about eight months of being in Intelligence” Lexi began looking at Jay “I figured out who she was, well I kind of stumbled across who she was. I tried telling the head Detective on the case of her latest kill and he pretty much laughed in my face. Didn’t believe a woman could be behind all the killings, said they were too violent to have been done by the hands of a woman. Most of her kills had been bad people, mob bosses, drug dealers, their competition had hired her, so the detective wasn’t in much of a rush to solve the case. She was basically cleaning up Chicago for him. So, I went to arrest her, she was too impressed that I had figured it out, a newbie, to try to run. She confessed to everything I had already figured out, then made me the deal that she would be my C.I. if I didn’t tell anyone else about her, if I kept her out of cuffs, she’d retire and help me take down some of the worse people in Chicago.”

Jay understood, Lexi had never revealed the Chameleon’s identity or arrested her, she had kept her word. “You kept her out of handcuffs. You kept your word”

Lexi nodded “exactly, she got to retire, I got the Intelligence Unit’s conviction rate record to an all time high, we were all winners” she smiled at him looking back at Hank.

Hank had been scanning a few of the pages as Lexi explained to Jay, he closed the diary and looked at Lexi. “Is Calvin Poe in here?” He enquired.

“Yes” she confirmed looking a little sheepish, as soon as Lexi had realised what the diary contained she had rushed to the end to find if Calvin Poe’s murder had been included. “But she never mentions me or the CPD, she says she did it for a close friend, never mentions me being there.”

Hank handed the diary back across his desk to Lexi who took it from him. “Keep it safe, like she said, you could use it if you ever need to make a deal. If anything ever comes back to us on the Calvin thing, we use it to make a deal, close all those cold cases for immunity for whoever needs it”

* * *

The next evening, Lexi sat at a table in Molly’s with Adam, Kim, Kevin, Antonio, Hank, Alvin, Will, and Trudy. “Where’s Jay at?” Adam asked Lexi.

“On his way” Lexi said putting her phone back on the table after reading Jay’s message. “I’m going to get him a drink in” She announced walking to the bar.

Lexi stood leaning on the bar waiting to be served. The bar was quite busy and only Otis and Herrmann were working. Lexi kept an eye on the door and watched as Jay entered scanning the crowd for her. His smile lit up his entire face when he locked eyes with her, and she watched him walk through the crowd towards her.

Lexi kissed him when he got to her. “How did it go?” she asked wrapping her arms around his neck. Jay had been to Ohio for an interview with the Homicide department. Jay and Lexi were leaving Chicago, to start the happy life together that Jay had spoken about. 

“Yeah” He smiled wrapping his arms around her waist. “I think it went well. Pretty sure they will offer me the job”

Lexi kissed him again smiling. Jay looked over at the table and watched his friends laugh as Adam made a joke or finished a funny story. He was going to miss everyone, Kim, Adam, Kevin, Alvin, Hank, Antonio, Trudy and his brother, Will, they were all his family and had been for a long time.

“You okay?” Lexi enquired following his line of sight to the table their family occupied. 

Jay nodded “Yeah, just thinking about how much I’m going to miss that crazy ass bunch of misfits”

Lexi laughed “Misfits indeed” she agreed. “But they are our misfits”

“I guess we can visit as much as we want, come back for the holidays,” he suggested.

“About that” Lexi began “what if we didn’t go?” she asked kissing him quickly again. He bought his focus back to her, looking in to her eyes. “We both love Chicago, our family are here, our life is here.” She explained unwrapping her arms from around him she reached in to her jeans pocket. “Plus, there’s this” she took her detective badge from her pocket and held it up to Jay’s face.

The smile on Jay’s face couldn’t have been bigger “Really?”

“Yes, I’d be your partner again, if you’ll take me” Lexi asked

“All day, every day, until the end of time” Jay smiled kissing her.

“What can I get you guys?” Herrmann asked from across the bar.

“Ten glasses of champagne” Jay ordered smiling.

Lexi carried the tray with the champagne across to the table followed by Jay. Lexi passed a glass to each person in turn. “What are we celebrating?” Kevin asked accepting his glass.

“Are two engaged?” Adam asked looking from Lexi and Jay who were both grinning from ear to ear.

Lexi waited until everyone had a glass in her hand before answering. “It’s just a simple thank you for everything you all did for me” Lexi said “and to celebrate this” Lexi said whipping her badge from her pocket dramatically “BAM” she said holding it up to loud shouts of approval.

“That’s so much better than an engagement ring” Adam said standing from his chair and hugging Lexi. Everyone congratulated her and welcomed her back to the team Kim and Kevin hugged her.

“A toast” Lexi began holding her glass up, the team copied her “to our family of misfits”

“Misfits” they all chorused clinking their glasses before drinking their champagne.

Lexi stood back watching her family toast together, she looked towards the bar and made eye contact with Kelly, who raised his glass to her, she did the same smiling as Jay put his arm around her waist bringing her attention back to him. “I love you” Jay whispered down her ear.

“I love you too” she said before kissing his lips softly.

* * *

 

**Author Note** : Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought, good and bad comments welcome. It all helps to improve my writing!

I have a sequel written but it needs a bit of work before I post. Thanks again. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading in advance. 
> 
> All feedback is welcome. If you have a negative comment please try to be constructive.


End file.
